Kotak Bodoh

Its Either Taksub or Purely Stupid

2012-01-18T10:38:00.001+08:00

hari ahad, restoran yang aku selalu mencekik pada hari bekerja tutup. maka aku tidak ada pilihan hanya bangi kopitiam yang tak sedap itu untuk aku. maka aku pun berjalan kaki ke sana. duduk dan aku order chicken chop burger sebab aku tau nasi-nasi dia memang haprak. tak sedap langsung.

aku duduk hisap rokok then aku ternampak seorang brado ni. aku memang suka melihat manusia. disebabkan brado ni memang depan mata aku je so aku tengok la gerak geri beliau. dia berfacebook then suddenly dia tukar page and aku notice gambar seorang mamat berkaca mata menadah tangan paras mulut, covering his mouth and looking forward. dua tiga kali aku tengok then aku mula tersengih macam bodoh.

dalam ramai-ramai manusia yang ada kat muka bumi ni, kau letak gambar ahli politik yang ada kes menyontot punggung orang secara paksa? ya. maybe bagi kau dia dianiaya dek government. kerana orang itu di fitnah maka kau ingin membela beliau. but seriously. kau pakai gambar dia sebagai wallpaper ipad kau?

kau tengok berita, kalau ada cerita pasal anuar je mesti pasal kes sontot beliau. bila kes sontot naik maka naik lah nama saiful. ada berita, ada anuar, ada anuar ada kes sontot, ada kes sontot maka ada saiful.

what's so funny about it mate?

put it this way. if opposition supporters uses anuar's picture as their wallpapers then i guess government supporters uses saiful's picture. and think again. you are a man and you use a picture of two men who has 'love-hate' gay relationship. don't you feel gay too?

its kind of the same thing as a very strong, very samseng looking guy using robert pattinson as his wallpaper on his gadget. kau jantan and you wanna look at a picture of another man every single time you switch on your gadget? unless you are gay too then i don't have any problem with it.

but yeah. are we actually supporting gays or orang yang dianiaya? tengok saiful. come on. kau report kau kena rogol dek anuar. kena rogol. bapak tak jantan kau ni? you didn't even resist? or is it kau dapat one hell of a pleasure with your backside? or is it even happen at all?

anuar + kes + saiful adalah benda paling bangang pernah berlaku yang aku dapat lalui. bawa masuk mahkamah and all. how is it kau korek sperma kering dari lubang bontot? tak pedih ke? or is it saiful, kau tak kesah ada benda masuk dalam lubang bontot kau? sumpah kelakar gak kau ni.

kalau kau tak buat report mesti kau tak malu macam sekarang. bawa naik court tapi kalah kes. and semua orang, well at least the government supporters, percaya kau kena sontot dek opposition leader. tapi at least orang malaysia lebih mengenali kau sekarang. dulu siapa peduli pun kau kerja assistant siapa. sekarang kau celebrity. aku dengki~ auuu~

think again. gambar anuar and saiful as wallpaper. for men, kau tak rasa serupa kau letak gambar anuar zain dengan adam lambert punya gambar ke? kenapa kau tak letak gambar aaron aziz je? why not letak gambar sophie howard or kelly cates? terbonjol sikit celah kangkang tu. ni letak gambar jantan? kalau terbonjol memang sah kau gay.

oh, and i'm still figuring how to korek sperma kering dalam lubang bontot.

Idler

Question

2012-01-12T15:45:00.001+08:00

have you ever wonder, macam mana nak korek sperma kering yang ada dalam lubang bontot?

Idler

Amalina = Boring.

2012-01-10T18:40:00.002+08:00

This is for the one who started bitching on a forgottenlady.

Dia pakai tudung ke, tak pakai tudung ke, buka baju ke, menari bogel ke. I don’t give afuck. Bosan. Seriously, kalau tak ada benda nak tulis, leave the page blank,wait until one hot shit come onto your mind. But hell this Amalina buka tudungshit is boring as hell. Sebab kau la aku kena tengok muka budak perempuan nikat dalam TV. Sebab kau la aku teringat dia batch aku ambil SPM tahun 2004.

But hey, bila tanya, “amalina? Yang dapat berapa A? bila ek?Oh, buka tudung dah dia.” What’s up with berapa A and tahun bila ambil SPM? Kalauada manusia yang tanya means tak ada orang yang ingat pun perempuan epic 17A nisebenarnya.

Seriously, berapa orang je yang ingat perempuan ni? Berapa orangje tahu muka dia macam mana? Berapa orang je peduli sebelum ni dia ambil apakat UK sana? Aku tak tahu pun dia ambil course apa kat UK tu. Sebab aku memangtak peduli. This girl, to me, is forgotten. Dah tiada siapa ingat.

Until this one asshole decided to bitch about her dah takpakai tudung. Then bitch about how dia hidup social. For god sake bloggers. Shutthe fuck up. Orang dah dilupakan tak perlu diingatkan. Amalina ni tak pentingpun nak masuk buletin utama. Tak penting pun nak diheboh-hebohkan. Kau tengokapa kau dah buat. Kau buat orang melayu yang hipokrit, yang closet lesbians,yang main raba-raba dalam kereta kutuk perempuan ni.

You just prove that malays likes the hype. Ok. Now, letstalk shit about one lady. Woot! Dah dapat hype. Cheers for you.

But the hype is lame as hell. Budak buka tudung jadi issue? Comeon. Look around you. Nenek kau pakai tudung? Tak kan? Hahahaha. Pergi la cariorang yang active keluar TV macam mediaprima. Ni kau cari budak yang memang takada siapa yang ingat and kau ingatkan manusia ni semua that this girl yangdapat 17A dan dia dah tak pakai tudung. Itu je? itu je? fucking itu je? Boring.

Amalina = boring. 17A nak buat apa sial? Pergi kerja kalaukena mindfuck dengan colleagues menangis juga kau balik rumah. Hahaha.

Next Please.

Idler

2011 Tamat

2012-01-03T17:34:00.000+08:00

2011 dah habis. i found out and totally believe that the muslims in this country lives in conspiracy. and most of it aku rasa sangat bebal dan bodoh. what's the purpose of a religion really? to serve god. to be a better human than the pagan believers who sacrifices their own daughters to the volcano. religion is needed so mankind can be more human instead of hyenas.

1 funny conspiracy is the mother's day. tak boleh celebrate sebab tu greek goddess athena punya hari. sumpah lame. how many of us really say "i love you, mom" everyday? tak ramai. for most of us we might say it masa hari hura hura raya aidilfitri. once a year. bila nyanyi lagu more than words tahu je kau more than words can describe the feeling oh aku chenta padamu arjuna bagai. disebabkan kita tak payah tunggu hari raya nak cakap kita sayang mak kita lah that i believe we should held a mother's day yearly.

MELAYU semua sibuk bekerja. tak balik kampung bertahun-tahun. sebab tak ada tiket bas. mak kemain lah tunggu anak balik masa hari raya tapi tiba-tiba eksiden macam drama raya. susah nak dapat tiket cuti raya kan? susah nak dapat cuti masa raya kan? then take a few days leave in may to go back home and celebrate mother's day. why not? kau sayang mak kau kan? then do it. jangan argue yang kita boleh cakap through sms je. how many of us malays did that? aku tahu tak ramai.

ever since my dad passed away i learnt a lot by watching my single mom went through a lot of shit. most of it came from me. but she was there. nasha aziz supermak pun tak setandik mak aku. the true supermak. i appreciate my mom. aku tak suka hari raya. sebab hari raya hari drama melayu bodoh. so aku celebrate mothers day. kenapa tak boleh appreciate mak kita for one day? belikan kek, bawak dia pergi holiday on this greek goddess night? i do it for my mom. not that goddess.

aku tak pernah rasa orang islam kat negara ni hormat agama orang lain. hormat kepercayaan manusia lain. bila kena judge dari paras rupa kita emo dan membebel "don't judge books by its cover". but why, why do you judge other people according to their religion? kenapa tak boleh hormat apa yang diorang percaya?

hari ni aku nampak kat facebook, macam biasa gambar-gambar yang nak lawan yahudi, christian, hindu ni keluar. share ramai-ramai. wah, kemain cakap bodoh sembah dinding. kau tak rasa orang yang tak tahu agama islam akan cakap kita punya solat tu buat sakit pinggang? kau tak rasa orang yang tak tahu agama islam akan cakap orang islam macam bodoh keliling kaabah? they said that because they don't know why. then bila orang islam negara ni dengar emo tak ingat.

then come christmas, pak arab mana cakap tak boleh wish christmas sebab that made us believe that jesus, who is nabi isa to us was born in 25 December. come on. kalau kau nak orang hormat agama kau, kau kena hormat la agama orang lain. tak kisah lah siapa nak kena start dulu. if they believe jesus was born on 25 december so be it. we wish them because that's what they believe.

kalau kita cakap guna bahasa ibunda sesuatu culture, culture itu akan hormat kita. sama juga dengan agama. kalau kita hormat dia, dia akan hormat kita. tak pernah kawan-kawan bukan muslim aku bahan agama aku. kau tahu kenapa? sebab aku tak pernah mencarut pasal agama dia salah tapi agama aku yang betul sebenarnya. tak pernah. sebab tu kawan-kawan bukan islam aku tak ada masalah nak lepak, bersembang, kutuk politik dan main bontot bersama-sama.

dah 2012. aku sangat nak tahu konspirasi apa lagi yang akan menjelma tahun ni. 2012 dunia berakhir? what if those archaeologist baca terbalik. it was not 2012 but 5015? eh. what the fuck? kau percaya pula 2012 dunia tamat?

Idler

Merapu

2011-12-23T16:44:00.003+08:00

Fucking hell!

Where is the hype that I can bash?!

Smokers and Cooking Oil

2011-12-17T13:39:00.001+08:00

mari bersembang berkenaan dosa menghisap rokok. haram haram. well. fuck you darling. the only reason why i'm trying to quit is to cut cost. i can save money and get married and live well with my little idlers. no, i never about the health issue caused by smoking. come on, we all will die someday.

aku pernah mencarut that we smokers help others to live better in this country for this country is relying on cigarettes and alcohol tax. yes. sangat islamic bukan? tak pernah berterima kasih kat kitorang yang mati cepat. kau ingat kau dapat rasa makan nasi kalau tak ada perokok? hahaha.

orang argue haram hisap rokok sebab consider as membunuh diri. merosakkan diri sendiri and all. kalau kau dah consume makanan yang confirm merosakkan sistem badan tak di consider haram pula kan?

and yesterday i heard on the radio that minyak masak recycle boleh memudaratkan kesihatan. then today pagi tadi aku dengar something something that malaysia cooking oil is not good for health at all.

According to Director-General of Helath Dr Hasan AbdulRahman, the maximum level of TPC allowed in cooking in the local market in anycountry is 25%. Throughout the world ni. TPC is the quality indicator to measure the level of cookingoil damaged during frying.

2007, Ministry of health dah jalankan research on thecontent of TPC in cooking oil kat Malaysia ni. Dari 96 cooking oil samples yangdi korek, 6 je yang lebih 25% TPC. But then kita tahu, kerajaan Malaysia ni takakan buat orang jadi kelam kelibut with this statement if it reached out likeanother Justin bieber hype. Maka mereka akan kencing. Come on, how much trustyou really put on the government. Then about reusing cooking oil, it is notsafe. Goring ayam pakai minyak semalam or minggu lepas. Memang tak sihat. But thenthis news I read on Malaysianmirror lain dari aku dengar kat BFM and otherstatement aku baca kat google. Try googling up. This statement differs fromother reports on research of cooking oil. Orang-orang PAS PKR boleh lah dia nakkencing. Hahaha.

orang islam negara ini memang pantang sikit isu halal haram ni. tak boleh makan kat McD sebab haram membantu orang yang bunuh orang islam kat arab sana. memang haram tak tolong orang islam yang bekerja mencari rezeki halal kat McD tu. haram makan babi sebab tertulis dalam quran. then haram hisap rokok sebab membunuh diri.

now now, i wonder what will the people who told me that smoking is harroomm will say about this if i say that consuming oily food is harrommm? studies said that re-using cooking oil is much more healthier than using fresh out of the bottle oil. let me guess, most of us recycle cooking oil most of the time. pergi dapur, tengok mesti ada mangkuk berisi minyak yang dah pakai. if there is means that we are all killing ourselves. same as smokers killing theirselves.

the reason why smoking is harromm is because they said its like destroying yourself hence committing suicide. tell me again, kalau minyak masak adalah memudaratkan kesihatan tak ke sama effectnya dengan menghisap rokok? tak ke sama merosakkan diri sendiri hence committing suicide.

but orang islam melayu sini memang licik. ayat seperti "oh, aku tak tahu la. kalau tak tahu tak apa la. tak haram". and now you know. tuhan dah bagi otak, sila gunakan dengan betul. tak perlu guna lebih 0.01% pun untuk dapat logiknya di sini. tak perlu.

then satu soalan tertimbul di dalam kepala otak aku ini. and that is;

smokers and food consumer, which is more holy?

my call. smokers. we pay the tax so consumer can consume cheaper food. voila.

Idler

Rachel, Part 1

2011-12-11T18:34:00.001+08:00

aku sangka aku dapat lari dari puaka hidup yang selalu ada dalam hidup aku. mana saja aku pergi ada je la seorang yang bodoh tahap pencawang letrik. dari kat sekolah sampai masuk kolej. dari kolej sampai la kerja. oh yes. aku sudah bekerja. finally.

i know i'm not suppose to bitch about her here but what the fuck, like i bloody care. kelakar bila fikirkan balik. and since this one is an on-going process maka aku akan buat ala-ala drama cinetron indon. mungkin banyak episodnya. mungkin tidak. who knows. i just hope she survive until the opening ceremony.

so kat tempat kerja aku ada seorang wanita early 30's yang pengalaman kerjanya 10 tahun buat marketing. yes. dia post marketing manager kat office ni. dulu dia cakap dia pernah kerja under education line. pernah kerja dengan kanak-kanak. kiko katanya. cari budak kecik, peraga pakaian macam tu la kot. the first co-op work we did together was a road show. road show tu agak gagal sebab tak ada orang pun kat mall tu. then aku discovered that rachel ini adalah seorang yang banyak cakap. memang kena la dengan post marketing dia.

dua tiga hari aku kerja dengan dia lama-lama aku terasa rimas. sebab sumpah woi, perempuan ni banyak gila cakap. dia buat kerja pakai computer dia pun tersalah sikit panjang pulak cakapnya. aku rimas. then bila dia tanya aku satu soalan, dia berenti macam bagi aku ruang menjawab, aku start cakap je tiba-tiba dia sambung cakap. mula-mula dulu aku macam okay la. lama-lama ada yang mintak maki jawabnya. kalau dengan customer buat macam tu memang tak ada hal la. sebab dia memang buat kerja marketing. kalau dah dengan colleague pun dia macam tu, bersembang dengan colleague pun macam tu.. adoi.

satu hari aku baru masuk office. tiba-tiba dia datang kat aku dan bertanya;

"Azrul, how to turn on the pc ha? i pressed the button edy but did not work"

aku dengan pantas pergi ke pc yang dia nak pakai tu. dengan pantas juga aku tengok suis plug tu menyala ke tak. dan sudah pasti... tidak menyala. sebab tu tak boleh on. kau memang bodoh rachel. hahaha. nak on pc pun tanya aku. tau la aku merangkap technician kat sini, tapi jangan lah bodoh sangat.

see, rachel tak bawa laptop dia ke office. dia gunakan pc office. sebabkan office ini baru lagi, dan kitorang business training budak maka tak ada tempat duduk sendiri lagi. pc yang dia pakai tu pc lab. kira kelas la. kitorang IT training centre. dia dengan pukimaknya memilih pc number 10. itu pc aku bila nak mengajar. dengan kata lain. tutor pc. pc ni aku turn off returnil nya. si rachel guna pc ni sesuka hati dia membuat kerja. bila aku ada kelas nak mengajar, dia tak nak bangun dari meja tu. alasan; banyak kerja nak buat. dia suruh aku pakai lab number 2 kat atas. aku pula dapat arahan kena gilir-gilir pakai lab 1 dan 2 sebab alang-alang boleh check system yang tak berapa nak stabil lagi sekarang. aku disebabkan hormat orang yang lebih tua pun bergerak ke lab 2.

pengalaman 10 tahun perempuan tua ni bekerja tak ada kemana pun. nak resize gambar pakai word tak tau. nak gerakkan gambar pakai word tak tau. nak save file dalam server pun panggil aku. dia cakap semua benda yang office nak pakai semuanya tak bagus macam application yang dia pernah pakai.

for example; skype, dia cakap dia ada msn. office cakap semua centre around malaysia pakai skype, sebab tu kita pun pakai skype. for office use. dia boleh tanya aku kalau dia nak video chat guna desktop lab tu, dia kena beli webcam ke tak. haih. ikut hati aku nak je jawab takpayah. tepek muka kat monitor tu da boleh video chat dah.

then g.mail. dia cakap gmail pun boleh chat, buat apa nak pakai skype. mungkin dia tidak tahu esok lusa ada training through video call. dia kata gmail tak bagus sebab tak boleh attach file yang ada dalam server. dia bising cakap tak boleh. aku pergi kat pc dia, taip kat save name box tu \\server boleh je. then dia oh oh oh. macam kena kote.

then aku dapat tahu, one of my colleague told me what she did. dia cakap dekat boss, aku tak buat kerja kat office. duduk depan laptop je. yang kelakarnya tu bukan sekali. dia buat banyak kali. then 1 hari ada meeting. boss aku tanya aku ada soalan nak tanya tak. aku jawab "no, i'm waiting for my students. without students i'll makan gaji buta here and check on the pc all day". then the boss laughed. rachel kerja dia adalah cari student untuk belajar kat centre ni. kalau dah tak ada student, aku nak buat apa? buat kerja dengan dia?

dia pernah cakap kat boss aku, kalau aku tak ada benda buat kat office baik ikut dia pergi buat marketing. boss aku tak bagi. sebab aku di ambil untuk mengajar, bukan untuk buat marketing. salah rachel ni la, siapa suruh janji 20 student sebulan. kan da mati. hahahaha.

aku tahu dia bukan bodoh. dia bijak. tapi dia salah sebab ingat kitorang semua yang inexperience kat office ni bodoh. aku bukan tak tahu yang dia nak aku ikut dia pergi buat marketing tu sebab apa. sekali aku dah ikut dia, maka aku akan kena ikut lagi-lagi. lama-lama dia akan suruh aku pergi seorang and dia boleh duduk dalam office buat indoor marketing. yes. perempuan ini bukan perempuan bodoh.

beberapa hari lepas aku dengar dia cakap dengan customer guna loud speaker.

"oh hello, this is rachel from (beep). yes. your friend's daughter is interested in becoming the (beep) part time training specialist"

aku dengan pantas menyentap tengkuk melihat ke arah rachel yang selamba cool. apekejadah dia pergi cakap kat customer kawan dia punya anak nak jadi trainer? apekejadah dia buat pergi cari part time lecturer when we need at least 5 students to come for the free workshop a day? then aku teringat. perempuan tua ini bukan bodoh. ada sebab kenapa dia pakai loudspeaker dalam bilik.

dia memang selalu pergi masuk office boss dan complain. dia cari part time trainer so dia boleh tolak aku ke tepi. dia akan guna alasan yang aku tak banyak kerja sebab tu better buang aku then hire part time trainer. jimat cost. dia tak tau yang aku merangkap technician kat sini. dia tak tau semua pc jahanam aku yang repair kat sini. then aku bagi tahu colleague aku about this one. then diorang cakap.

"what good she get by pushing out of the office meh?"

aku jawab

"power. by persuading the boss to push me off means she can control the boss. controlling the boss means she's controlling the centre"

perempuan ini ada otak. dia bukan bodoh. dia tahu kitorang empat orang termasuk boss kat sini memang kurang pengalaman bekerja. dia tahu boss pula lembut hati. tapi aku tak bodoh. i read people for fun. and i can read her easily. senang. but there's more to come. nanti aku compile.

oh what the fuck. orang gila je baca benda kat kotakbodoh ni. hahaha.

Idler

Banjir Kajang

2011-12-07T09:25:00.001+08:00

aku agak terkejut bila tengok banjir kat Kajang beberapa hari lepas. my first impression was; "bapak tinggi sial air naik". aku assume it was the first time it happened in Kajang. rupanya aku salah sebab tahun 1971 dulu pernah banjir. what the fuck weh, aku belum lahir pun masa tu. mak bapak aku pun masa tu belum masuk sekolah rendah lagi pun.

then after the news adik aku tanya kenapa boleh banjir. kajang kan jauh dari laut. aku yang dah 8 tahun tinggalkan hometown aku Bandar Baru Bangi pun tahu apa puncanya. aku jawab soalan adik aku. jawapan;

Malaysian

tanpa perlu research, tanpa perlu pergi lokasi pun aku tau punca banjir tu adalah manusia buang sampah ke dalam sungai. tambah lagi Kajang dah macam Las Vegas, di kelilingi kawasan bukit. Bandar Baru Bangi, bukit. Bukit Mewah, Indah, Bukit. Jalan Bukit. Bukit-bukit kat dada bapuk depan Chiplee kedai buku.

obviously bila hujan turun kat Bandar Baru Bangi dan segala bukit yang mengelilingi Kajang, air akan turun ke arah pekan Kajang tu. and air turun melalui sungai. bila sampai Sungai Chua yang dah clogging dengan sampah-sampah kedai snooker, pusat beli belah bintang dan segala kedai makan kat situ maka air susah nak lepas. and what happen after that? paras air naik. and bila paras air naik maka banjir. sama macam perhimpunan bersih hari tu, polis clog jalan, perhimpunan pula bergerak macam air, maka jadi la traffic congestion. tak perlu belajar sampai dapat lapan PhD untuk tahu ini.

and of course bila ada pekan, ada longkang yang dalam tapi sempit. dan sudah pasti bila kita bercakap Malaysian dan longkang, yes, tepat sekali, memang tidak boleh di elakkan kan. asal longkang, sungai, itu memang tempat buang sampah. janji ada air mengalir memang kita akan buang. come on. even resit pun kita campak dalam longkang instead of tong sampah yang dah di sediakan.

bila dah banjir, dah datang segala penyakit mulalah rakyat nak salahkan MPKJ. what the fuck weh? dah berapa lama kita hidup kat negara ni yang kita tak tahu majlis perbandaran takkan datang turun padang selagi isu tak serius gila? selagi tak ada orang mati tercekik sampah selagi tu diorang takkan ronda-ronda saman orang buang sampah merata-rata. kalau aku maki cakap bukan salah MPKJ tapi salah orang Kajang yang buang sampah dalam longkang, kau nak saman aku? letak gambar aku dalam paper, tampal kat dinding macam iklan ah long dan cap aku pembelot negara? terima kasih sebab beri peluang orang tengah Klang Valley rasa banjir selepas 30 tahun menunggu swimming pool epic.

kat sekolah ada subjek sivik. subjek yang tak perlu ada. maybe kita boleh membentuk masyarakat majmuk through that subject. tapi apa guna masyarakat majmuk kalau otak tak ada? kau bodoh, dia bodoh, semua bodoh. brilliant.

dulu aku ingat, masa kecik ada iklan cintailah sungai kita. aku memang ada isu dengan government-made commercials. buang duit, tak ada effect, dan membuatkan makcik-makcik emo tatkala sendang menonton drama abu, ali merebut kasihnya aminah. my views on any kind of government-made commercial will always be on my backside. yang akan datang pun aku berani bet bulu kaki aku yang sumpah akan jadi bodoh gak.

talking about commercial aku rasa kalau aku jadi director, in 50 seconds je da cukup. 1 scene orang buang sampah, 1 scene hujan lebat tak berenti, 1 scene banjir. 1 scene orang mati sebab disease. tayang 5 kali sejam setiap hari, confirm orang takut nak buang sampah dalam sungai. diorang akan buang sampah depan rumah jiran instead. but that's better than banjir dan hidup dengan penyakit selepas banjir.

MPKJ tu memang bodoh pun. oh what the hell, aku rasa selagi dia majlis bandaraya, majlis perbandaran ke, diorang memang bodoh. sila sumbat anak anda sampah sampai dia mati and campak tengah jalan. baru diorang nak turun padang.

nak salahkan siapa banjir ni? tuhan? 30 tahun tak banjir, tiba-tiba banjir nak salahkan bapuk-bapuk buat maksiat ke? sedangkan banjir tu datang dari sungai yang clogging. oh i'm pretty sure ada blogger yang cakap Kajang pusat maksiat sebab tu tuhan turunkan bala. i wonder what's their call on Kelantan and Terengganu punya banjir every year.

Idler

Music and Malaysians

2011-11-29T11:43:00.001+08:00

aku sebenarnya nak menaip cerita hidup aku yang berpuaka this past few years. tapi aku rasa aku skip dulu kot sebab aku rasa ada benda lebih kurang bodoh gak dengan puaka bodoh yang ikut aku.

orang cakap, muzik malaysia semakin merudum. ya. memang merudum sebab diorang yang membebel tu tak dengar muzik yang tak keluar radio. kalau dah dengar radio, komposer dah sah-sah orang yang sama. dah sah-sah lah hasil lagu pun sama. Siti Nurhaliza nyanyi lagu tajuk 'cinta peti sejuk', Misha Omar nyanyi lagu tajuk 'cinta peti panas'. bunyi lebih kurang. sebab komposer sama la. takkan tak boleh guna otak sikit fikir.

bila satu komposer dominate the whole music industry in the country then the whole country music gonna sound the same. bila datang penyanyi baru dari rancangan realiti, campak dia depan komposer yang epic gila tu beliau yang suara sedap nyanyi lagu rancak confirm dapat lagu kubur macam artis-artis sebelum dia. sebab tu music kat radio sentiasa bosan. i honestly think that most composer in this commercial music industry sucks. teringin aku nak pergi mana-mana audition yang Ajai jadi juri and cakap:

"kau ingat lagu kau sedap sangat ke? macam sampah. sebab tu tak boleh menang apa-apa".

thank you kepada menggiat muzik yang lagu confirm tak masuk radio. you guys gave me something else to listen to instead of Stacy yang epic. but to yang muzik bunyi lebih kurang je tu, sorry. bosan. oh ya. SKK, tu kot band rap yang kerja nak bash orang je. i heard their latest song on XFM. rap about esok lusa akan keluar TV. dude, go write yourself a love rap that can pull all the stupid fans such as Najwa Latif's to you. if you can't manage to do that, don't bother about appearing on TV occasionally for 10 years. good luck to you.

ok fine. aku dah taip nama beliau. benda paling epic sekarang aku rasa mesti lah NAJWA LATIF. perhhh!!! I SO LOIKE NAJWA LATIF. budak sekolah yang tak sedar kena main dengan producer gila duit. hahahah. i have to start this part with this sentence:

Malaysia always need two of the same kind.

bila P.Ramlee meninggal, orang tahu benda epic beliau buat adalah Bujang Lapok masa kat Shaw Brothers and Do Re Mi masa kat Studio Merdeka. then dia dah tak ada kau tau apa penggiat filem cuba buat? yes. of course, another bujang lapok and do re mi. kau cari filem-filem Mat Sentul dengan Wahid Satay, ada lagi sorang aku tak tau nama, aku tak nak google sebab tak perlu tahu pun takpa. filem-filem trio lepas era P.Ramlee semuanya fucked up dan... adoi... buang duit. aku tak pernah rasa Mat Sentul dan Wahid Satay kelakar.

two of the same kind. bila Black Mentor dah berjaya, Mas Idayu cuba lagi dengan apa nama mamat tu? Shark, Sharp, Shal? suara lebih kurang Black. kau nak buat apa sial sampai dua penyanyi suara lebih kurang tu? kau nak bawak diorang dua orang atas stage cemolot sambil menyanyi dan sambil berkata "suara kami sama. lihat lihat lihat kami bercium". tak perlu sial. sampah.

latest thing. Najwa Latif. one hell of an epic fail that happened to the industry. hanya orang pandai je boleh nampak benda ni. and of course orang pandai tu sudah dengar lagu ni 3-4 kali sebelum membuat kata putus yang Najwa Latif adalah seorang budak perempuan yang rezeki nya sampai tapi kene bodoh dengan producer.

lagu ala kadar, cinta muka bulu. eh. muka buku. come on. fine, orang nak cakap suara sedap. suara sedap kalau melody lagu, lyrical contant macam bodoh nak buat apa weh? lagu macam ni kau nak buat negara bangga? sebab lagu cinta muka bulu ni la industry muzik kita lingkup. come on. pakai la otak sikit kalau nak bawak seseorang naik atas pun. bersepah female musician out there yang suara sedap dengan lagu melodi sedap, lyrical contant sedap. apa lagi? semua sedap. then kenapa Najwa Latif? 1 je jawapan dia.

Malaysia want two of the same kind.

and as for this one. another Yuna.

lagu-lagu aku yang tahap sampah pun orang cakap lagi sedap dari najwa latiff. hahaha

we don't need another P.Ramlee. we don't need a replacement for anyone who did us great last time around. WE DON'T. what we need is another creative mind to start a new thing and carry us on. kalau dok cari je pengganti memang lambat la bergerak. sebab tu industry muzik kita bodoh lembab dan penuh dengan sampah. oh. filem macam tu juga. sponsor menang award. epic fail.

walaupun couple punya lagu jadi soundtrack film cap ayam kat UK sana, aku rasa bangga sebab bukan lagu Ajai or Siti yang jadi OST mana-mana filem luar. sebab sumpah tak boleh pakai. macam bodoh. yes siti boleh sapu semua award pada bila-bila masa. 1 benda award winning entertainer kat malaysia ni tak boleh buat. kau tau apa?

fans sponsor semua benda so boleh tengok live depan mata.
tour 1 europe sebelum meletup kat negara sendiri.
meletup kat luar negara dari kat negara sendiri.

takyah menang award pun tak apa. sebab bukan itu the real musician kejar. bukan fans yang mereka kejar. mereka kejar kepuasan dengan muzik selagi hidup. sebab hidup ni pendek je.

thank you,
dear real malaysian musician.

Idler

Hancingnya Kejiranan

2011-10-11T23:53:00.000+08:00

"rakyat malaysia ni rakyat yang pembersih"

bullshit~ pergi tandas awam bau hancing gila. dah kencing tak pam. kalau kencing pun tak pam ini kan pulak berak. kadang-kadang steady je berak depan pintu. yep. shopping complex hire cleaner untuk cuci jamban. tapi agak-agak la. menyusahkan orang lain nak gunakan tandas. aku rasa orang kencing tak basuh lagi mulia dari orang kencing tak pam. sebab menyusahkan orang lain.

aku paling rage bila orang cakap malaysia ini negara bersih. come on. kau tahu kenapa dalam kereta disediakan ashtray? ye, yang kita selalu buat letak duit syiling tu. benda tu disediakan supaya orang yang hisap rokok dalam kereta tak buang puntung kat jalan raya, habuk pun buang dalam tu juga. bersih gila negara kalau dok buang kat atas jalan je.

sepupu aku pergi holiday luar negara. dia cakap pantai kat sana tak macam pantai kat sini. sana bersih. sini kotor gila. kotor sebab orang malaysia sendiri bukan pembersih. kalau jamban pun tak pam, ini kan pulak buang sampah kat tempat yang disediakan.

ada satu system yang sebenarnya boleh membantu negara jadi bersih. tapi apa kan daya. mereka yang buncit atas sana banyak baca buku je, tak ada common sense.

"sila jangan membuang sampah di sini. denda 3 juta ringgit"

berapa ramai yang pernah kena saman sebab buang sampah kat tempat yang ada papan tanda macam kat atas? berapa ramai? berapa banyak kali tv3 nak tayang kat buletin utama? karam singh walia cari siapa kalau aduan rakyat ada kes macam kat atas? cari majlis perbandaran. bodoh apa? penduduk buang, majlis perbandaraan di salahkan. kenapa tak boleh saman je semua penduduk kat kawasan tu. baru diorang rasa. baru la berhenti buang sampah merata-rata.

community service. kenapa penjenayah atau pesalah laku ni di sumbat je dalam penjara. kan ke bangang. makan minum dia dah nak kena pakai duit rakyat. why not orang yang kena saman bawa kereta laju-laju di kenakan denda community service. bersihkan sesuatu kawasan. dah sah-sah orang malaysia ni pemalas, confirm next time tak nak bawa laju dah sebab tak nak buat kerja indon cleaner.

duit rakyat bagi makan penjenayah. come on. orang buncit atas sana takkan tak boleh terfikir benda ni. community service. kalau negara luar ada, takkan sini tak ada. dari diorang duduk dalam kait baju sejuk sampai diorang keluar lepas tu buat kesalahan sama, baik sementara diorang ada kat dalam tu buat kerja bersihkan kawasan. every single day. tak susah. gari, pacak polis, pasang senapang. settle.

and of course. selagi orang kita kencing tak pam selagi tu aku takkan cakap negara ni rakyat nya pembersih. kalau ada foreigner datang sini aku akan cakap kat diorang supaya guna tandas 2 ringgit kat klcc atau tahan je sampai masuk hotel, kencing. dari malukan rakyat sini yang memang pengotor.

community service. senang. bodoh~

Idler

A Dead Friend

2011-09-25T23:05:00.000+08:00

a good childhood friend of mine. we grew up together. so he went to secondary school and i'm stuck in primary school. befriended his younger brother who is the same age as mine. he was the one who had the latest console game in the neighborhood. it was a Sega Megadrive. sangat epic. we spent a lot of time in front of that crappy console.

then his father took the whole family on holiday to disneyland. they came back. and by then, they had a playstation. it was one hell of a good console. a video game using a cd, who would've thought. during the early days he had that, his father won't let anyone inside the house. not until a year later. funny how is that the dad who i thought was kinda close to me would not let me in.

so i grew up with my own clicks. he went off with his. one day he came to me and asked "kau hisap rokok?". and i answered "i do". i was 14. then he said "kalau nak lepak, meh la lepak kat block belakang. kat kedai am". and so i went there after school to smoke. kedai am is a sanctuary to people who ponteng sekolah.

one day he said. let's breakdance. and the whole clicks there were into it. so learnt a few moves. and he had his. the group was called The Floor Sweeper. i like it. they was about to go with Grasshopper. what the fuck? hopper? no way. and so one day he asked me to find some girls to dance. i did.

to make the long story short. he fell in love with one of the girl. well. none of the girls ever dance pun. posers. but yeah. he fell in love. and like many bollywood films. the brother of the girl did not like him. they were friends. he was never in love before.

one day they fought. the brother and the friend of mine. one on one. fist with fist. though they were some of the brother's friend brought an engine piston as weapons. both of them fell down. it was a draw.

the brother said to his sister, "kau jangan berkawan dengan mamat tu. dia budak tak elok. hisap dadah". and like many bollywood films, the sister ignored the brother.

since this friend of mine fell in love, he quit drugs. a lot of em. i spent most of my time around him. and i always ask about the lovers. he always said it was okay. they're still having it. the relationship. a year or two later the brother told his mom about the sister and the addict. and the mom was, of course, furious. she told the sister to break it up. which she, of course, ignored.

they went on for another year. until the girl called it off. its not going anywhere and so she said. the mom did not fancy him. and they cant meet each other so often.

and so he went back like he always did, to kedai am. hung out with us friends. and he started drugs again. and i watched every single moment of it. i was there.

shit happened at kedai am before. i moved on. finding my own new clicks. and yeah, i don't meet that childhood friend of mine that often anymore.

a year or two later i went back to buy a pack of cigs at kedai am. and am's mom told me. "kau tau tak along, ez da jadi gila?". and i was like, "what the fuck cik?". and his best friend, told me the same thing. that the childhood friend of mine went crazy. and he's nowhere to be found. but i knew, he went off living with his uncle.

i've met him once in front of his house during his 'gila' period. he seems fine. he said he was doing music. learning violin at the moment. yeah, he had good fingers. grade 7 organist. he seems fine. but he avoided people. except me. maybe because he kinda figure out that i don't lepak at kedai am like i always do anymore.

years gone by. and he came to my sisters wedding. asked me for a lighter. smoke a cig. he was quiet. tried to talk to him. but no, he won't talk a shit. he got worse. maybe everyone was right. maybe.

i stared at him today. at his brother's wedding. he was sitting at the pelamin. i looked into his eyes. from far away i can only see one thing. torment. he's bearing it all on his shoulder. that's how he look. everyone wants to take picture with the newly weds. he sat there. sat still. tormented. hiding it with fake smiles.

during this time, i recalled back the whole thing that went through. the spent we spent together as child. he was fun and a loving friend. and he's dead. he's dead inside. if only i could reach him. that i'm still the good friend i once was. that it is okay to let it all out to someone instead of a wall.

some people might say he needs therapy. i say he needs a friend.

and i'm not dead yet.

Idler

Talk Show

2011-09-22T05:24:00.001+08:00

aku rasa, setiap artis mahu talk show mereka sendiri kalau boleh. tapi of course la yang tengah melotup je yang dapat offer host talk show sendiri. dulu masa astro baru keluar, bapak aku pasang masa tahun 1998, talk show artis malaysia masa tu adalah 'bila larut malam', host afdlin shauki. aku tak ingat macam mana, yang aku ingat afdlin shauki kurus lagi dan ada pelukis melukis gambar orang-orang yang datang ke talk show tu.

so here's my take on the talk show i've watched before;

Macam-Macam Aznil
aku rasa okay la. sebab banyak main. panggil penari kebudayaan menari, dia join. panggil makcik naik atas stage, panggil budak kecil. apeadehal. dia aznil. dia boleh handle semua. okay la kot. bukan aku tengok pun. maybe aku boleh terima sebab dia panggil artist bukan suruh duduk diam-diam atas kerusi dan jawab soalan.

AC Disini
entah la. mungkin sebab aku memang tak suka AC Mizal maka aku tak pernah suka tengok talk show dia. dengan lawak yang untuk orang tak ada otak je gelak tu. ni satu talk show bangang. panggil artis, duduk atas kerusi, sembang-sembang, berbalas pantun bagai. haramjadah.

Ally
ke elly? pergi mampus. aku tak tahu kenapa dia ada talk show sendiri. mungkin media prima nak ada diorang punya aznil sendiri kot. or mengasah satu bakat maka dia boleh jadi macam aznil satu hari nanti. aku pernah tengok sekali je. masa tu tengah makan dekat batang berjuntai dengan girlfriend aku. menyumpah-nyumpah tengah makan dok kutuk mamat ally ni. sebab honestly, talk show dia... SUPER DUPER LAME ASS! pergi cari kat youtube kalau ada. but yeah, aku rasa media prima mengasah mamat ni, sampai 1 award show sampai 3 host. tiba-tiba dia ada. cukup la mamat botak menganggu aku melihat sheryl samad. datang pula yang lame ass. kacau.

Jozan Show
bila dua mat lawak jadi host, maka masa yang ada tu akan lawak sentiasa. tapi ni pun agak bangang sebab artis datang duduk dan soal jawab. okay sedikit sebab kadang-kadang agak lawan. the point aku tengok jozan show adalah live band masa penutup. aku suka tengok live band. band yang aku suka je la. bunkface jangan harap la aku nak tengok.

Siti Nurhaliza
ya dia cantik, dia ada suara yang sedap. tapi hosting a talk show? lame ass. go sing a song please. jangan jadi macam liyana jasmay yang bakat berlakon ada tapi menyanyi haprak. dan lagu dah sah-sah bunyi cam avril lavigne tapi tak nak mengaku. kau ingat aku baru 3 hari dengar radio ke?

Anita Sarawak
kenapa dia balik Malaysia? ada siapa boleh jawab?

Zizan Show
kalau Ally super duper lame ass, maka zizan show adalah super lame ass. aku tak tau kenapa dia nak ada talk show sendiri. jemput artis yang aznil, ac mizal, jozan dah pernah pangil then tanya soalan yang sama. kepala hotak dia la. "oh kali ni lain sebab zizan lawak". talk show dia, trust me, super lame ass. my take. epic failure.

Salleh Yaacob Show
veteran yang tiba-tiba molotup. tiba-tiba ada talk show sendiri. adik aku cakap sebab dia kahwin 4 tu tiba-tiba dia molotup. well i say rezeki dia sampai. tapi talk show dia agak lame ass. tengok sekali je dah cukup. ni untuk pendengar sinar fm je la layan kot. aku takkan nak tengok dah talk show salleh yaacob ni. i don't see the point where artis yang sama yang pernah di panggil oleh rancangan astro dan di tanya soalan yang sama.

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"apa perkembangan terbaru anda?"

honestly, malaysian celebrities should start their own blog to let their fans be more up to date instead of waiting for a lame ass talk show to call them up and to be ask the same ol question. kata dah maju. facebook nak ada semua bagai. if they start their own blog or a facebook page ke, takde lah astro tayang talk show 3 tahun lepas punya. kalau aku tengok pun sebab aku tau ada liveband masa ending. other than that... siapa nak baca surat khabar semalam 3 kali sehari? bodoh.

be more creative. takkan setiap kali ada talk show, panggil artis, duduk atas kerusi dan tanya soalan sama ulang-ulang. come on. kau tak terasa bangang ke? kau rasa talk show bangang macam tu boleh betul-betul buat duit ke wahai producer?

Idler

Mangsa

2011-09-22T04:54:00.001+08:00

aku ada banyak benda nak tulis. tapi terasa sangat malas nak mampus. banyak buang masa main game je. nak rekod lagu, PC pula buat hal. ada je tak kena. CMOS battery la, hapa la. malas. malas. malas.

banyak benda boleh belajar masa bermain video game. betul. tak percaya? kau tahu siapa mangsa paling senang kena troll? Melayu. hahaha. cakap noob sikit je dah, terus sawan. bila enemy team stock sedap je main, kau pulak feed, dia cakap "oi noob, wtf u doing?", kau terus macam-macam alasan kau bagi. dari lag ke, i was making a cup of tea.

kenapa melayu? kenapa senang gila kau intimidated? kenapa kau senang gila jadi mangsa troll? kenapa bodoh gila pergi layan org kutuk kau? aku selalu pesan, "jangan layan, lagi kau emo lagi diorang suka". but hey, melayu tak mudah mengaku kalah bukan? mesti nak lawan punya. cara paling senang bila kena macam ini, melayu akan cakap "cina babi". ayat paling senang. well, aku terasa bangang bila bermain dengan orang mangsa troll begini.

racism is a no no in my book. macam biasa lah, kalau dia cakap melayu bodoh ke, aku diam je. sebab kalau aku balas, maka apa bezanya aku dengan dia. ah, balik balik ayat ni je kan aku taip kat sini. kau buka blog blog serbanistas, kau try troll, confirm dia makan punya. senang gila macam ikan kebulur tak makan 3 bulan.

aku banyak main game online satu ketika dulu. sekarang dah malas. walaupun feature dia bes gila, tapi kalau dah kena online 24/7, grindfest je fed up la aku. maka aku berhenti main dan mula bermain game yang tak memerlukan masa yang lama untuk pawn orang lain.

hidup macam roda. sama juga bila bermain video game. ada hari kita own, ada hari kita feed dan di maki hamun. well. orang yang memaki hamun ni, ada berlambak kat dunia game online. bila dia maki, aku either buat dont know or just play stupid or just make fun of him. seronok. lagi diorang emo, lagi aku seronok.

sebenarnya aku kesian tengok kaki maki dalam game. sebab kebanyakkan mereka adalah mangsa buli. atau seorang budak yang senyap dan nerd. disebabkan mereka tiada kuasa di dunia nyata dan hanya sangat pro gila dalam dunia fantasy, maka mereka akan buat apa yang mereka tak boleh buat di dunia nyata. iaitu memaki samseng-samseng sekolah sebab main macam bodoh. kesian. well, kebanyakkan kita akan buat apa yang superior kita buat kat kita bila kita jadi superior pada satu ketika. look around you

ha? apa aku buat bila orang main macam bodoh? aku cakap "dah, aku fed up, good luck" atau "come mid, i give free kill, quick!". hahahahaha!

Idler

Arsenal Football Club, No Englishmen Allowed

2011-09-01T11:39:00.001+08:00

"Kebebalan Arsene Wenger bertambah-tambah"

yes, that's what i say after looking at Arsene Wenger's latest signing; Arteta, Martesacker, Park. the days where Englishmen playing for the clubs of English football is so over for Arsenal. how many Englishmen they have left? Theo Walcott and Frimpong?

The reason why Arsenal failed to win any trophy since the last 6 seasons is because of their signing, Arsene's policy of signing freshmen out of nowhere and turn them into something big. in the end the likes of Fabregas and Nasri all went out. Arsenal fans can't really argue about the training-ground-for-kids mockery because the fact is, its true. kids came in and went out. kids went in and talked of being one of the best player in football and leave. Emirates Stadium, is a training ground.

The Policy

let me take you back to Highbury, the original home ground of Arsenal Football Club. The success they had there were with some of the best players in English football. and of course, Englishmen. to all the fans who started supporting Arsenal during their invincible season may not know the likes of Ray Parlour, Micky Adams, David Seaman, Lee Dixon and of course, Ian Wright. these players are the pillar of the club success in the 90's. the likes of Thierry Henry, Frederic Ljunberg and such just made it better for them.

then the new Arsene Wenger's policy came in. signing youngsters from all part of the world. i'm not saying that Arsene Wenger is a bad motivator, a bad coach. he's far beyond that. but if he wanted to win trophy with kids, the kids needs experience too and some tutoring from the more experienced players. and that's what the Manchester United 'kids' had, experienced players among them. and of course, success, trophies.

how many englishmen first eleven are there in an Arsenal squad? three, four? Honestly, They Walcott is their best Englishmen in the squad, and of course, lately, Jack Wilshire. Arsenal need more Englishmen. because englishmen, they know their game. they know their country. its English football after all. yes it would be nice seeing Kaka playing for your beloved club, but Scott Parker is what they need. a pure hardworking box-to-box midfielder, a real captain.

The New Signings

when Fabregas and Nasri went out, Arsene Wenger need replacements. when Manchester United beats Arsenal 8-2, Arsene Wenger need to change is policy. which he did. but only one. finally he signed some experienced players.

Arteta. i don't see the point of Arsene Wenger signing the always-injured Arteta. 10 million pounds for an unfit player. yes he's a good passer of the ball. a playmaker, a spanish just like fabregas but can he play at least 29 matches a season? no.

Martesacker might be a good signing. one hell of a tall strong lad. this time they can actually defend against Rory Delap's long throws and win most of the aerial battles at the back. but who would cover the slow Martesacker? Vermaelen. pray he would be fit the whole season.

Park Chu Young. there's a reason why there are not a lot of asians playing in the English league. The best Asian player in England is none other than the Three-lungs Park Ji Sung. the climate is different the gameplay is different than other european countries such as Spain, France and Italy. the reason why Junichi Inamoto failed to impress Arsene Wenger was he could not cope with the English game. its physically harder here than in Spain and Italy. Park Chu Young needs more time to adapt the English game. but can he score against the top club? i don't think so.

Yossi Benayoun. honestly i think he's way better than Joe Cole. Ancelotti was right about that. he's hardworking, good intelligence on the pitch and a teamplayer. there is one problem though, how many times would he play in the first eleven?

Gervinho, who the hell is Gervinho?

The Right Players

i have a few players on my mind which i'm really sure can make an impact at Arsenal. but no, Arsene Wenger did not sign these bargain players.

Gary Cahill. Manchester United tried to sign this player but moved to the younger Phil Jones. Cahill is one of the best defenders in England. we couldn't see how good he is because we don't watch Bolton's game. He's quite fast and good aerial battler. and he's only 25 years old.

Ryan Shawcross. a player that came out of the Manchester United youth academy. he's the reason why Stoke City did not concede a lot of goals against the big clubs. fast and strong. but what do you expect? would Arsene Wenger sign a player who broke one of his best youngster's leg? of course not.

Scott Parker. when Birmingham beat Arsenal in the Carling Cup Final last season, Scott Parker's name was out in the news. for goodness sake, he's 30 times better than Arteta. the real captain. the one who gave the half-time team talk that made West Ham United came back from a 3 goals down at West Bromwich last season. a pure captain. Scott Parker is the captain that every club needed.

3 bargain good englishmen for Arsenal and Arsene Wenger did not sign them. Arsenal had the cash, but they did not sign Ashley Young last season. why? because he's english. i don't think Arsene Wenger will sign any englishmen, except youngster such as Alex Chamberlain.

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we have seen it with Barcelona and Bayern Munich. Spain and German. their success in the World Cup. look at what happen when fellow compatriots played everyday together. they brought it to the international level. Manchester United and Liverpool are starting to do this too. this might help my beloved England to be success at the international level. can you see this happening with Arsenal? Nay!

This is a Manchester United fan telling the Arsenal fans that Arsenal won't win anything this season.

Idler

Why It Failed

2011-08-31T14:43:00.000+08:00

since getting together with my girlfriend i've learnt a lot on how to keep it together. how to know her better. how to read her. it really helped with trying to keep us together. we've been together for 3 years now. the longest i ever been with anyone in my whole life and i don't feel like starting over with someone else because my girlfriend and i, we know each other well. we simply can read each other. and as of today we can read each other even when she's at home in ipoh and i'm in Nilai. we are meant to be.

we've been through a lot of shit. mostly came from me. what do you expect? i'm a bitch somehow. but she's still the one i turn to. she's the one i called, 'home'. hah! bapak jiwang!

ever wonder why suddenly your partner isn't that good looking like the one who's sitting at the corner? my answer is that you just forgot how they look like.

when you go out. chilling. shopping. you walk. and when you walk, you walk side by side. you watch movies in the cinemas, you were sitting side by side. groping each other. then you dine. and when you dine you dine side by side. and when you make love at night you turned off the light (except for the ones who wants a video out of it). side by side. and when the time you have to sit facing each other, the mood change because you can't grope and you can only stare and do nothing. and at this time you realized how gorgeous or ugly your partner is.

the point of sitting side by side is either to grope the girlfriend's tits, to stay close or just for the sake of telling everybody that the girl / dude is yours.

what i've learnt from being together with my girlfriend is that to read facial expressions so it would be easier for us to know what's right and what's wrong. no we didn't walked facing each other. we walked side by side like everyone else. but when we dine, we face each other. and when we dine. we talked a lot and at that time we can see facial expressions changes. bad, good, happy, sad, mad. most of the time i'll face her. we tend to keep what we don't like inside. that's why facial reading helped us knowing each other well.

and when problem arise. most of side-by-side lovers can't cope. they tend to lie. its easier to lie when sitting side by side. hard when facing each other. side by side lovers will avoid eye contact when problem arise. the furious one will sharpen their looks and the guilty half will avoid eye contact. it has been like that all this time but you never realized it.

try facing each other when dining. it helps. plus it would be easier to eat or to spoon feed each other eh? most of the time lovers won't tell. it is up to the other one to read what's inside. that's why facing each other is important.

a few years before i've met my girlfriend, i've been in a lot of side-by-side relationship. it didn't work out. hell yeah its fucked up when you can't read. its about satisfying your partner (off the bed).

today i'm the love doctor~ fuck me~

Idler

Merdeka?

2011-08-31T14:06:00.000+08:00

dulu masa sekolah, asal merdeka je nak merayap. asal merdeka je, malam nak merayap. bebas merayap keluar rumah. mak bapak pon tak kesah, apadehal katanya. bebas bawa awek check-in motel 50 ringgit untuk mencurahkan kasih sayang. sayang gila, bawa ke tempat murah je. bebas. bebas. merdeka itu, bebas! kita sudah bebas. yay!

abah kau bebas!~

last aku merayap malam merdeka was masa 17 tahun. tak ingat pergi mana. new year pun, last time tahun yang sama gak nak masuk 18 tu. aku keluar merdeka. aku nampak orang bebas buat apa dorang nak je. itu je. orang bash british, england yg aku cintai itu. cakap penjajah ni dulu kemain jahat gila bagai. sejak beberapa tahun lepas, aku sedar, kita takde la bebas mana pun. bebas mengundi je ada la. bebas bercakap memang tak la, ini kan pula bermain bontot.

Tunku Abdul Rahman fought for cultural hormany just to gain our independence. kau tengok hari ni. berapa ramai racist? lantak la kalau cina ke india tu racist. apa bezanya kau nak cakap orang tu racist kalau pun racist gak? apa bezanya kau dengan dia? aku ramai kawan racist. ada je tak kena. sekali kena mind fuck dengan aku, terdiam.

British brought Indians to work in the estates. kau bayangkan kalau tak ada indians kat malaysia ni. kau ingat negara boleh maju ke? orang melayu nak kerja kat estet? jangan harap la. kerja kat ofis air-cond pun boleh ponteng kerja ini kan pulak kerja kat estet. tinggal lah orang-orang susah je yang nak kerjakan estet tu.

British brought Chinese to work as miners. kau bayangkan kalau tak ada cina kat malaysia ni. kau ingat negara boleh maju ke? orang melayu nak kerja kat lombong? jangan harap la. kalau tak ada orang cina, tiada kuala lumpur. kalau ada pun lambat siap sebab orang melayu kalau kerja suka ambil MC. cuti seminggu kalau boleh. but still. kerja di lombong? aku pun tak nak. aku melayu yang super malas.

aku main game online. kena cap melayu bodoh, melayu bengap. tapi tak pernah sekali pun aku cakap non-malays pendatang atau menumpang. sebab kalau aku cakap macam tu, apa beza nya antara aku dengan dia. kalau aku cakap, maka hilang lah prinsip coexist aku.

orang iban, kadazan, sub-culture yang buat malaysia ni multicultural tu, apa pula kelebihan mereka. kalau orang melayu dok bising pasal tanah melayu, sabah sarawak tu ethnic borneo punya. bukan melayu. kalau tak ada sabah sarawak, tak adalah malaysia. melekat la nama Malaya atau tanah melayu tu. maka tak multicultural la malaysia ni.

bebas. merdeka itu bebas. tell me what merdeka means to you. to me, today, it meant nothing. we are still lost. we're not free to do what we want. kadang-kadang orang bodoh akan cakap "its a free country". abah kau free country. aku cakap sikit tak boleh. kalau rakyat minta itu ini tak boleh. rakyat nak bersuara tak boleh. bebas? itu bebas?

kita bebas dari british, tapi kita tak pernah bebas dari diri kita sendiri. tak pernah bebas dari culture kita yang sempit. tapi apeadehal bro. hari merdeka hari kongkek. nasib baik dah lepas bulan puasa. kalau kongkek malam ni takde la kena sambar petir. hahahaha!

aku akan sambut merdeka bila:
1) rakyat bebas berkata-kata
2) media tak jilat bontot government
3) entertainers / non-politicians naik jadi PM

dengan list ini. aku tau yang aku tak akan sambut merdeka sampai aku mati because it will never happen. merdeka sungguh malaysia ini. tapi tak mengapa. aku rasa aku bebas dari pemikiran orang sempit. aku tak jilat bontot orang. mak suruh cari kerja, aku lek dulu main game. i will get a job 1 day. but yes. aku bebas dari semua orang. aku ada otak yang boleh berfikir sendiri. mata yang nampak betapa bodohnya sambutan merdeka. mulut je problem. cakap sikit, bash! hahhaa.

what merdeka means to you?

Idler

A Few Days Called Hari Raya

2011-08-31T13:46:00.000+08:00

sejak 4 5 tahun lepas aku dah naik menyampah nak raya. mak, girlfriend suruh cari baju melayu. tapi apa kan daya. aku pakai baju melayu tu first day raya je. lepas tu gantung dalam almari tak basuh sampai raya depan. tak pun tunggu ada time kena pakai baju melayu je. baju tak busuk sebab aku terperap dalam rumah. tak berpeluh. disebabkan kampung aku dekat bukit canggang dan ampang je, 1st day raya dah kira habis umah atuk nenek aku dua-dua belah. takyah leceh nak drive jauh ke kelantan ke sebab aku memang orang Selangor. kalau jauh pun balik tanjung karang je.

aku tak suka raya. seriously. time ni la semua orang nak bermaaf-maafan. ini sangat membantu menyokong drama-drama real life orang melayu. kalau tak maafkan maka boleh membalas dendam dengan membunuh ataupun merampas harta berjuta ringgit. honestly, dalam Islam limit 3 hari je nak tak nak bertegur sesama manusia. tapi apa kan daya. kita melayu. sanggup bunuh anak dari membunuh adat sendiri.

why shouldn't we forgive the people before raya? none of the malays have the proper answer for that. ustaz kat sekolah pun keje nak aim budak je sebab tak puas hati budak tu rocker. sampai la raya, budak tu datang kasi kuih ucap selamat hari raya, maaf zahir batin.

again. 1st day raya most of us menangis masa minta maaf dari ibubapa. yang kelakarnya, 5 minit lepas tu gaduh balik. brilliant. serupa tak payah je. then kena tunggu tahun depan untuk semua orang berkumpul untuk bermaaf-maafan. aku rasa bermaaf-maafan di hari raya adalah sangat bodoh sama macam nak tunjuk kasih sayang masa valentines day. we can forgive anyone on a normal day really. and i think we should do that so we won't rely on one day to drive thousand miles away just to say sorry.

cliche dan membosankan. itulah hari raya. setiap tahun benda sama. sepupu aku bekata "aku ingat raya tahun ni kau gaya lain la sikit". dah hari raya. aku pakai la baju melayu. takkan aku nak pakai sari pula. kan ke biadap namanya tu.

drama adalah memundurkan. drama melayu adalah super memundurkan. drama melayu raya adalah superduper memundurkan. kita dok kutuk americans dah tak ada idea nak bikin filem. kita lagi teruk. tiada kreativity dan idea. kreativity itu sangat membantu me-menyirapkan hari raya aku.

mari ke kotak bodoh di ruang tamu. turn it on and watch.

1) scene yang confirm ada adalah family mak dengan anak menetap di kampung. anak belajar di universiti dan mak nya pesan suruh belajar rajin-rajin dan jangan lupa jasa ibubapa. then akhirnya anak tak balik-balik sebab dah kahwin dengan orang kaya. mak tunggu raya 15 tahun tak balik-balik. mak duduk dekat rumah buat bahulu sambil dengar lagu raya.

2) bila mak pergi KL cari anak. jumpa. anak tak mengaku mak. si tanggang habis. mak sumpah jadi peti sejuk.

3) bila anak yang tak balik-balik tu bergaduh dengan suami/isteri nya, baru lah tergerak hati nak balik ke kampung. then on the way balik kampung, flashback dari keluar perut mak sampai lah hari dia tak mengaku mak dia.

4) nak dekat sampai dah ke kampung ni. PANG! accident. mati. mak menangis. flashback lagi.

5) kadang-kadang dalam cerita lain. mak kepada anak yang tak balik tu ditemani oleh seorang anak jiran atau anak kepada anak mak itu kat kampung. dengan kata lain, anak jiran nya itu lagi baik dari anak mak itu sendiri.

6) menangis. menangis. menangis. dan menangis lagi.

seriously. mana tak mundur. setiap tahun cerita sama je. kalau lain pun comedies. comedies okay sikit la. aku suka comedy hari raya pun sebab saloma pun pernah nyanyi "hari raya, hari untuk kita bersuka ria". suka pejadahnya kalau terpaksa menonton cerita menangis sampai raya ke 7? trust me. 25 tahun akan datang pun, plot di atas akan ada juga. itu je ulang-ulang.

try tengok rancangan christmas. hah. aku pilih christmas sebab orang islam memang pantang sikit dengan christian ni. but yes, christmas. tell me rancangan christmas yang menangis. tak banyak. merek terapkan happy ending. itu sangat membantu untuk berfikiran secara positive. walaupun kadang-kadang buat kita macam syok sendiri awek tu akan dapat kat kita juga.

tell me, kenapa drama hari raya tak buat happy ending? kenapa semua benda predictable? balik-balik itu juga. anak balik raya accident. menangis. habis. dua jam depan TV, itu je. lepas tu yang emo menonton menangis. haramjadah.

music. hah! 24 tahun aku hidup lagu raya itu je pusing-pusing. sharifah aini, saloma, p.ramlee, sudirman. itu je la. aku teringin nak dengar lagu melayu baru. walaupun ada. tapi aku rasa tak cukup bagus. sebab orang tak nak dengar pun. kenapa orang tak nak dengar? kenapa radio tak putarkan lagu-lagu raya baru? sebab orang tak nak dengar la. indirectly orang bersetuju lagu-lagu baru tak cukup bagus.

nasib baik tahun lepas ada lagu raya anna raffali. walaupun tak ada la epic sangat. tapi ceria bunyi nya. aku suka. then tahun ni. lagu raya baru aku rasa yang paling epic dan confirm boleh laku adalah rakan seperjuangan dunia seni aku punya lagu. aku rasa epic gila. dia tak upload kat youtube. maka aku tak boleh nak link kan. but yes. one hell of an epic song.

paling babi bila bercerita tentang lagu raya. nyanyian semula. fuuuuuu! pukimak. biar je la lagu sudirman tu balik kampung sudirman punya version. yang alif aziz nak nyanyi balik tu dah kenapa? setakat nak bagi kualiti bunyi jadi updated sikit je baik tak payah beb. sila tulis lagu raya sendiri. boleh? penyanyi apa tak reti tulis lagu sendiri. but itu lah dia. lagu raya. tahun ni versi alip ajis. tahun depan versi awal shaari. dua tahun depan versi chipmunk. ah sudah. lagu balik kampung upin ipin. gagal.

tapi apa yang bes raya ni hanya satu je bagi aku. dulu masa belajar lagi, duit raya la. sebab sedara aku ramai. hari raya boleh kaut 5 6 ratus. beli gitar. tahun ni takde le nak dapat lagi. kalau dapat pun ciput je. kena sedar diri, dah tua, dah boleh jadi bapak orang. dah sampai time nak kahwin.

maka tinggal la makanan untuk jadi santapan aku pada hari raya. cukup la. food fest sampai at least 5 syawal. i'm a food lover. tak. aku tak nak bash setiap tahun rendang je. kau ingat makcik-makcik kau rajin ke nak masak rendang setiap hari? hahahah!

Idler

Breakfast? Memang Sempat.

2011-08-23T00:46:00.001+08:00

dulu masa aku sekolah rendah mak aku selalu prepare breakfast. sebelum pergi sekolah confirm makan. sekolah pun dekat je. seminit jalan dah sampai. cikgu kata, breakfast tu penting. tak kira la nasi lemak ke, janji bertenaga. nasi lemak mengantukkan badan tapi bagi kita tenaga. itu yang cikgu aku cakap la. masa masuk sekolah menengah aku dah tak breakfast dah. cikgu tengok aku lesu je. tengok badan aku kering terus tepek "ha ni tak breakfast la ni".

masa aku form 4 form 5, aku pegang rekod paling banyak kali datang lambat. kawan-kawan aku gelak je sebab rumah aku yang paling dekat dengan sekolah. tak sampai seminit jalan pun but still datang lambat. orang kena sebat sebab merokok ponteng sekolah. tapi aku kena sebat banyak kali sebab kes tak macho langsung, datang lambat ke sekolah.

aku sekolah kat bandar baru bangi. then ada juga budak-budak yang menetap kat bangi lama sana sampai sekolah pukul 6:30 pagi, naik bas. aku kesian tengok budak-budak ni sebab kena bangun pagi gila semata nak naik bas. diorang yang jauh sampai awal. aku yang dekat sampai paling lambat.

dah masuk sekolah menengah pun ada je lagi cikgu membebel kepentingan sarapan pagi. crap weh. budak-budak yang sampai 6:30 tu memang confirm la boleh breakfast sebab kat flat depan sekolah tu ada jual nasi lemak bagai. aku terasa macam dah kena main dengan kementerian pendidikan. kepala hotak dia sekolah start pukul 7:30 pagi. terlalu awal. terlalu awal untuk semua orang.

berapa ramai sangat yang bangun pagi solat subuh? aku tak. aku bangun pagi pukul 7. bangun, hisap rokok sebatang, mandi, terus pergi sekolah. sempat tak sempat aku langgar je. janji aku pergi sekolah.

is there a better reason why sekolah kat luar negara start sekolah pukul 9 pagi masa matahari memang dah naik dan bukan masa matahari pun baru bangun? sebab pagi-pagi fresh? abah kau fresh kalau tidur tak cukup sebab kerja sekolah belambak nak kena hantar esok nya? sebab tu tak kira kat sekolah mana pun, ada je budak tidur dalam kelas. fresh. memang fresh wahai si perut buncit. 24 tahun aku hidup, system sama lagi. aku tak paham.

paling cibai pun sekolah perlu start pukul 8. balik la pukul 2. kalau yang belah petang nak masuk kelas, then yang belah pagi buat la kelas pukul 2 tu untuk aktiviti yang hands-on approach kat sekitar kawasan sekolah. benda senang je. tapi disebabkan system pendidikan kita lebih pentingkan benda yang ada dalam buku, maka hands-on approach ni tak boleh digunakan dalam system.

come on. teperap dalam kelas 6 jam? rehat 20 menet. rimas weh. well, mungkin badan aku da terlalu tua untuk handle atmosphere dalam kelas bila aku fikirkan balik. but still. pagi, cahaya matahri pagi la banyak faedahnya. dengan angin dan bau pagi tu. serious tenang. tak fuck up macam dalam kelas yang hanya dipenuhi bendera malaysia tatkala nak dekat merdeka.

cakap memang senang. tapi semua orang bukan sama. bukan semua orang boleh bangun pagi-pagi buta semata nak breakfast untuk ceria di sekolah. bukan semua orang bangun solat subuh.bukan semua orang boleh handle duduk dalam kelas terperap. bukan semua orang boleh duduk diam.

breakfast apa kalau sekolah start pukul 7:20 pagi (sekolah adik aku kat shah alam)? kantin dah sah-sah tak buka lagi. kedai kat luar pun confirm tak banyak buka lagi kalau kat area sekolah tu tak ada kawasan kedai.

1 point lagi untuk kotak bodoh, education system still 0. zero, neil. kosong. telur.

Idler

Kitorang ada British, Kau ada?

2011-08-18T12:32:00.000+08:00

sejak merdeka tahun lepas, aku teringin kibar Union Jack bersebelahan dengan Jalur Gemilang. sebab tanpa British, kita tak ada la power mana pun macam sekarang. orang melayu yang tak ada otak akan sentiasa bash penjajah. jangan belajar bahasa penjajah bagai. banyak. to me, personally, i appreciate what the British did to Malaysia. that's why, when merdeka arrives, aku sangat terasa nak kibar Union Jack sekali.

apa yang kita ada kalau kita memang tak pernah dijajah? kita ada tombak, keris, dan keturunan sultan yang sanggup hukum bunuh panglima fantasi berpangkat tinggi dan sangat handal bersilat (Hang Tuah la bodoh). oh ya. kayu menjadi bahan binaan utama kerana orang melayu suka rumah kayu. senang nak robohkan in case nak lari dari sultan yang murka.

aku percaya, without British, Malaysia won't happen. until today, melayu rebut harta. jangan kata dalam TV. family, company besar, takhta, politik. sampai sekarang. harta, tanah dan kemahsyuran, itu yang melayu kejar. disebabkan adanya British la, sultan-sultan melayu ni bersatu padu berganding bahu. kalu tak memang diorang buat kerja sendiri je la. perang ke, besarkan kuasa jajahan.

yang ini, racist mesti suka. kalau tak ada British, maka tak adalah orang India dan Cina. sebab British yang bawa orang-orang itu masuk ke Malaysia untuk mengerjakan tanah yang ada. oh fuck! kalau tak ada Cina, agaknya siapa nak kerja kat lombong bijih timah? melayu? jangan harap la. oh damn! kalau tak ada India, siapa nak buat jalan, tampal jalan? melayu? haramjadah.

kalau tak ada British, maka kita tak tahu sukan apa yang mereka main. bila kita tak tahu kita tak main la. ini bermakna kita akan bermain konda kondi, galah panjang, batu seremban dan sebagainya. dengan ini juga tiadalah Lee Chong Wei, no 1 dunia badminton sekarang. kita ada sukan-sukan ni sebab sudah di exposed kan dari zaman berzaman. India main cricket sebab British yang bawa. dari tak tau sampai jadi jaguh dah.

apa ada kat tapak afamosa tu kalau portugis tak datang?

salah satu sebab kenapa aku nak kibarkan union jack pada hari merdeka adalah kerana Sir Gerald Templer. you see, without this man, i think the war against communism would be longer than it should be. it came from his brain. banyak benda yang dia buat semata nak tentang komunis. what the fuck? kau tak tau siapa Gerald Templer? oh ya. kau banyak baca buku je, kurang tengok TV. kadang-kadang TV bagi information lagi epic dan logical dari buku. nanti la aku cerita pasal perang komunis. lain hari. but ye. without the british, and ada communism, masak la tanah melayu.

english colony rasa diorang ni civilized. diorang bawa culture diorang serata dunia. bukan culture je kita dapat, teknologi pun dapat juga. kau ingat orang melayu ke yang cipta pemprosesan getah? orang melayu ke yang tau apa guna bijih timah dulu? no, banyak benda datang dari europe sana. tapi orang kat sini kerja nak bash je. tapi bila da letak kat London, tau plak tak reti nak balik Malaysia.

kalau tak ada penjajah, tak ada lah Malaysia. think.

Idler

Hahaha! Kelakar!

2011-08-18T11:52:00.001+08:00

aku suka comedy. humor macam gila buat pecah perut. duduk depan TV tengok Raja Lawak, Maharaja Lawak dan apa saja yang ada kat channel warna tu. yang tak buat aku gelak dah sah-sah la Amir. kalau dia ada otak aku rasa lawak dia confirm kelakar. malangnya dia tak ada otak. sebab tu nampak macam mat dungu je kat dalam kotak bodoh kat ruang tamu rumah aku.

orang gelak terbahak-bahak bila comedian melayu buat tarian india. tak pun time diorang buat loghat tamil sikit. satu rumah gegar. kelakar. but seriously. kelakar? aku tak pernah gelak bila melayu buat lawak india ni. aku rasa tak ada otak dan cara mudah dapat undian (kalau kat reality tv show la).

"lek la bro. orang buat lawak ja kot. why so serious?"

abah kau kelakar tarian india. kenapa korang gelak? sebab tarian dia nampak macam kartun? ke sebab korang memang dari kecik di ajar that india itu bangsa yang tahpape, boleh di bahan pada bila-bila masa? again. why korang gelak?

yes, the traditional malaysian comedy is mengajuk orang lain. kalau tak mengata, memang bukan melayu. sebab tu bila jozan bahan mamat khalid, kita gelak. bila samsol yusop dengan apaknya jadi bahan, kita gelak besar. sebab sumpah kelakar, i have to admit. but this is different. this kind of jokes membahan individual dan bukan 1 bangsa terus. tapi apadehal pun kalau membahan bangsa lain. melayu suka. dapat undian apa. haa.

tapi bila Safee Sali dan Amirul Hadi kena cap "monyet" dek isteri kapten singapore, kita punya marah kemain lagi. hahaha. come on, social network, disitulah mulanya lawak jenaka, bahan membahan harian pada zaman berteknologi moden ini. i'm pretty sure that the wife said that purely as a joke. takkan orang kata kita macam monyet dah nak emo kot. its a bloody joke. why so serious?~ amek kau kena balik. hahaha.

kau membahan orang kemain suka lagi. tak ada masalah. tapi bila kena. siap nak saman bagai. aku gelak je bila dengar berita. sampai FAM nak kena buat itu ini dengan orang kat singapore sana. what the fuck weh? its a fucking joke! a fucking joke! and its not a bad one anyway. it is kinda like monyeta! hahaha. betul la. benda kecil jadi besar. bangang doh!

then masa chelsea lawan malaysia, malaysia booed yossi benayoun. come on la. mamat benayoun dah la susah gila nak dapat main. bagi la dia peluang. boo sebab mamat ni yahudi. dengan selambanya orang kita boo si benayoun ni semata-mata dia yahudi. tanpa usul periksa kalau-kalau dia ada menyembelih orang islam ke tak. melayu kat negara ni cakap kita kena kecam yahudi sebab yahudi ni bangsa durjana. aku ada satu soalan untuk orang-orang tak ada otak main tepek je ni. "berapa ramai nabi berketurunan Yahudi?".

apahal FAM yang buat formal apologies? rakyat Malaysia yang kena buat formal apologies to Yossi Benayoun. aku rasa sok fan chelsea kat malaysia ni mau melutut depan benayoun kalau dia jadi top scorer menang title season ni. KALOUmenang la. tuih~

i wish. one day. 2 malaysians out there would dress up like the prime minister and the opposition leader and crack one hell of a comedy on stage. sumpah epic.

Idler

Puasa

2011-08-13T19:51:00.001+08:00

saiton semua sudah di ikat tatkala bulan puasa. i have this 1 question; "ikat, where?". i believe saiton semua kena ikat kat belakang telinga kita dan mulut dia tak di sumbat dengan stokin. sebab tu ada je orang selamba makan kat kedai mamak or sendiri pergi berniaga makanan tengahari. aku pernah makan kot kat tempat cani time tak puasa 1 hari dulu.

"the buddhist are celebrating the hungry ghost festival, and the muslims are having one hell of a food fest"

this is one of the few good things about the multicultural Malaysia. makanan senang nak cari. petang je, pergi bazaar. apeadehal. semua ada. yg susah nak cari tu babi panggang je. haha.

masa belajar kat kolej dulu, seorang housemate aku pernah berkata dengan sinis kepada aku kerana beliau tidak di ajak pergi ke bazaar bersama-sama. kitorang ramai-ramai beli macam betul hungry ghost festival. si pendek tu berkata;

"nabi dulu buka puasa dengan kurma je"

aku jawab "aku bukan nabi kalau kau nak argue pun"

tatkala datang bulan puasa. tiba-tiba semua orang nak jadi baik. padahal bulan puasa pun boleh buat baik apa. solat tarawikh itu sunat. solat wajib hari-hari biasa ditinggalkan. apekejadah? time ni la semua orang tiba-tiba nak ikut sunnah nabi bagai. tapi juadah berbuka macam ada party. makan pakai sudu, sunnah nabi pejadah makan pakai sudu?

mempercepatkan berbuka itu dapat pahala. dah kalau kau berebut macam hanjing kebulur, bawa kereta laju-laju membahayakan keselamatan orang sekeliling pahala pejadahnya bang? aku ni agak lemau nak berbuka puasa sebab aku tak makan banyak pun. tak macam dulu. tahun lepas, berniaga kat bazaar, aku berbuka dengan air percuma gerai air bagi dengan rokok 2-3 batang. malam sikit baru aku mencekik.

bapak aku pernah marah aku dulu sebab orang tengah berbuka, aku layan anime vandread kat AXN beberapa tahun dulu. chill la abah. tak mati de berbuka lambat tu. dia sendiri pun buka ngan kurma ngan kuih je. malam buta lepas tarawikh sikit baru mencekik.

selain menahan nafsu, puasa juga adalah untuk kita rasa bagaimana orang yang kurang mampu bermakanan banyak makan dalam satu hari. dengan kata lain, appreciate the rejeki yang kita dapat. maybe sebab faham benda ini beberapa tahun lepas, aku mula tak makan banyak time berbuka. dapat kupon makan kat KGSAAS pun, aku cekik satay 4 cucuk ngan teh tarik je. yeah, aku kesian tengok orang miskin tak makan. walaupun family aku mampu, namun masa kat kolej dulu aku pernah rasa macam mana tak makan 3 hari. sekarang aku dah tahu nak appreciate makanan. bak kata nenek; "menangis nasi tu tak habis".

apa sangat la nak rasa apa orang miskin tu rasa time bulan puasa ni? semua melantak macam gila. beli macam-macam kat bazaar, makan ciput lepas tu buang. to me, kalau aku berbuka lebih dari 2 pinggan nasi, maka aku dah betray orang miskin. itu yang aku rasa la.

Idler

Directions

2011-08-08T21:14:00.000+08:00

lets talk religion again.

kalau fan black metal ke, or anti-christ ke, mereka letak salib terbalik. ada gak orang islam yang pakai rantai salib terbalik konon nak buat statement mereka ni anti-christ. pejadah. padahal maksud upsidedown cross ini adalah bertuju kepada St. Peter yang tak rasa dirinya layak di salib kan sama macam jesus christ. wiki up bro~

bila dalam Islam, jadi isu besar bila sembahyang membelakangi kiblat. aku rasa macam nak gelak je bila dengar orang membebel pasal benda ni. bila ada orang cakap ni ajaran saiton, maka aku akan jawab; "bumi ini bulat".

a very little margin can make us face the wrong place. what makes you think that kiblat dalam surau shopping complex tu tepat? what makes you think orang yang solat jemaah kat stadium itu kiblatnya tepat? then orang yang solat atas cruiser ship macam mana pula?

but since bumi ini bulat. a slight margin pun, kita still akan face the right place. take a ball. mark an X on it. then lilit bola tu dengan benang ke tali ke. confirm sampai kat X tu juga.

bila membelakangi kiblat. to me, we're still facing the right place but the distance is a little bit far. betul la. bumi itu bulat. ha. sebab tu aku kata solat membelakangi kiblat ni ajaran saiton adalah penuh bullshit.

try tengok orang solat kat kaabah sana. saf jadi bulatan sebab kita solat menghadap kaabah. yang depan kita menghadap kita.

bumi itu bulat. kan?

Idler

Bola Bola Bola, Sudah Mula!

2011-08-08T01:09:00.000+08:00

i put on my new Manchester United jersey. and got all fired up for the battle of manchester after berbuka. though i watched in on my couch at home but the feeling is still the same. well, this one actually is pretty mixed up. haha.

a sister of mine, who happen to be a Chelsea fan went against the devils. the score at half time was 2-0, manchester city had the lead. she was laughing and i told her. "Manchester United second half power gila kot. kena kitai macam mana pun, boleh kejar apa. ni lawan Manchester City, confirm boleh kejar". and my beloved Manchester United won 3-2. epic. an epic comeback.

when i was a child, watching my first World Cup (France 98), all my friends supported Brazil. but since i'm new to international football i did not choose a team. and me, always going for the non-favorite was happy when France demolished Brazil in the final. 2 years later, i found out that Manchester United is a team from England (hahahaha, yeah, i know). and since then, i supported England. no matter how terrible they are, i will always support them.

Tonight is different because of the squad. Pep Guardiola had done it with his Barca. Martin O'Neill had done it with Aston Villa. and now Dalglish and my grandfather, Sir Alex Ferguson is trying it too. english player in an english club. yes. you will never see this kind of team with Arsenal, Chelsea or Manchester City. especially the one bought by billionaires.

to see a lot of england players in 1 squad made me happy. that is why i'd love to watch more of Aston Villa when Martin O'Neill was on the throne than to watch 1000 passing and never shoot Arsenal.

ok, back to the battle of Manchester. remember when i write about Singapore vs Malaysia? no matter how good the blue half get. they will fail eventually. and as of tonight, the blue half of Manchester failed yet again. yes, you can argue that it was just a bloody community shield. but no, not to us hardcore fans of Manchester United. this is a derby. the chance to have the bragging rights until the next derby.

you jumped when the si kepala bertakuk Lescott headed the first goal in. and laughed out loud when Dzeko score the screamer. but we, the red half of manchester fans just stood up proudly and look at the Manchester United haters while they say, "aku sokong Chelsea" or "ah, community shield je".

Manchester United did not have the best player last season compared to Chelsea and Manchester City. but we won the league title. you can buy every single 5 star players on the planet like Balotelli, but you might find it hard to maintain the streak. we've been there. we've done that years in, years out.

thank you for laughing at us dear Manchester United Haters. thank you.

Idler

Islam in My Own Way

2011-07-30T04:48:00.002+08:00

i think my sister is wondering whether i have converted to christianity or not because currently i'm reading "The Templars Revelation by Lynn Picknett and Clive Prince", secrets guardian of the true identity of christ thing. i have interest in these kind of book. well. not as much as i love reading people. no sister, i'm a muslim since i learnt what's real about my religion.

i kind of like the idea of baptism. in christianity, someone will be baptist as he accepts the religion. here in Malaysia, most of us are muslims because our parents are muslims. we don't have baptism in islam. that's why when we ask; "kenapa kau puasa", and the answer would be; "sebab nak sambut raya".

i'm addicted to cigarette. i eat a lot. i watch porn and wank most of the nights. and ramadhan, let it be the month where i can be a bit devoted to god. stop my addiction during the days and the lust during my lonely nights. and of course pray. i don't know the title of the song, but the Raihan song on Ramadhan is epic. bila nak puasa je, terngiang kat dalam kepala aku. rasa tenang dan takut tak mampu. this is what ramadhan means to me. don't ask me about raya, because i think its stupid.

my dad passed away few years ago. orang cakap dia pergi dengan senang. to me, that happened because he's ready. dia dah jalankan tanggungjawab dia sebagai seorang anak, abang, adik, suami dan juga bapak. plus, he once told us family he wanted to die so mom won't have to worry about the expense he's gonna cost trying to fix his cancer.

aku benci orang yang terlalu devoted sangat dengan tuhan sampai terabai tanggungjawab mereka. anak bini tunggang langgang dekat rumah sebab bapak selalu bagi derma semata pahala. tanggungjawab seorang bapa dan suami hilang disitu. itu ke islam yang kita belajar? no, not my religion. to think about it again. kau sembahyang 5 kali sehari pun, kalau tak ada usaha, takkan jadi kaya punya.

aku tak banyak ikut sunnah nabi. kunyah makanan 44 ke 33 kali aku tak tau. most of the time, sebab terlalu nak ikut sunnah nabi benda yang basic dalam islam kita tak buat. itu bodoh namanya. my idea of Islam is different than others. orang cakap, kalau dah mula sembahyang, kena ganti sembahyang yang tinggal tu. my faith is that, once aku bertaubat, maka aku tak perlu ganti sebab aku jujur dan ikhlas mahu sembahyang. terima ke tak terima tu bukan keputusan nik aziz atau kawan-kawan yang dari dulu sembahyang 5 waktu dari umur 10 tahun. itu semua keputusan tuhan. dosa pahala bukan manusia pegang. tapi tuhan.

nak bercerita pasal boleh drop kick anak sebab tak sembahyang tatkala mencecah umur 10 tahun. ini adalah bangang kalau nak digembar gemburkan. the 1st thing about Islam it is not a religion where the faithful force other people to do what they do. Islam bukan agama paksaan. aku rasa macam nak tampar muka uztaz yang paksa cikgu sekolah pakai tudung masa mengajar. kadang-kadang yang non-muslim pun disuruh pakai tudung. what the fuck weh?

faith and beliefs in one true god is Islam. aku menyampah bila orang berkata pasal isu murtad and all. fucked up beb. dah orang tu tak percaya, dah kenapa nak paksa? Islam bukan agama paksaan kot. i won't force non believers kalau mereka tak percaya. then nak cakap pasal orang murtad patut dibunuh? what the fuck weh? Islam ajar membunuh orang yang tidak percaya dengan agama kita sedangkan Islam bukan agama paksaan and through faith beliefs? orang murtad yang patut dibunuh adalah orang murtad yang menentang Islam.

apa yang Islam nya kita ni kalau kita memaksa orang untuk percaya apa yang mereka tidak mahu percaya? kalau macam tu, apa kes Madinah ada multi-religion masa zaman nabi dulu? this is where i learnt my religion. it is not by force but by faith and beliefs. i was a muslim since i was 20+ and not since i was born. my father has taught me well on my religion and it is enough for me to believe that my religion is true. this is my beliefs and i will respect other religions as i always did before and just like nabi muhammad himself. ini basic, and ini yang uztaz-uztaz tak reti nak ikut.

nak cakap aku boleh taip semua sunnah nabi tu memang tak lah. baca quran pun tergagap cam haram. sembahyang, memang susah. tapi uztaz-uztaz ke yang nak tentukan dosa aku banyak mana? dosa aku dengan tuhan, bukan dengan kau uztaz. tapi aku rasa, Islam aku adalah lebih baik berbanding Islam yang keluar perut mak je, ha, bagi tanda ni anak Islam.

aku rasa nak cakap bahasa arab tu bahasa syurga is so overrated. to me, language is just a medium of communication. if nabi muhammad turun kat england, sah dia cakap english and quran tu dah sah sah la bahasa inggeris sebab nabi di turunkan untuk menyampaikan ajaran. maka bahasa orang yang terdekat lah yang perlu digunakan. yang sebar Islam ke serata dunia tu bukan nabi muhammad tapi umat dia. nabi isa bertutur bahasa hebrew, and sekarang beliau kat syurga, bahasa apa dia pakai?

tafsir al-quran haram? aku rasa orang cakap ni otak letak kat bawah ketiak. aku haram jadah tak faham bahasa arab. there was this one time at school. the weekly bacaan yassin, aku dapat yang ada maksud kat bawah ayat. orang baca surah yassin, aku baca maksud dia. effect nya, aku menggeletar 2 minggu sebab aku faham apa maksud surah tu. buat apa baca quran kalau kau tak tau apa maksudnya? berapa betul pun kau baca, tapi kalau tak tau maksud, aku cakap, serupa takyah baca je. nak rasa apa aku rasa, baca lah.

tuhan merancang semua benda, takdir and all. kau agak tuhan tak rancang ke Islam ni akan samapi serata dunia? kau nak sampaikan agama seluruh dunia and nak paksa orang belajar 1 bahasa yang agak sukar. memang tak jadi la orang nak terima. language is just a medium of communication. quran diturunkan kat arab, maka bahasa arab la digunakan sebab english tak sampai situ lagi, ini kan pulak bahasa melayu.

religion through fear. kau tau kenapa agama Zeus gagal? sebab mereka applied fear. kalau tuhan nak kita menganut sebab takut dengan 1 true god, maka tuhan takkan menjelma dalam bentuk cahaya masa nabi musa bertemu dengan Nya. gunung pun tunduk beb. kalau gunung pun penyek aku pun goyang. but yes, Allah bukan nak kita anut agamaNya sebab kita takut denganNya tetapi sebab percaya. sebab itu diturunkan para rasul supaya manusia senang menerima agama yang ingin disampaikan. kalau tak buat ape susah-susah hantar utusan? turun je dalam bentuk cahaya, settle.

mastika menakutkan islam dengan kepayahan masa nak handle jenazah. aku rasa cam pundek gila. there's no point in it. my religion is through faith not fear. mastika sumpah tak boleh pakai. well, ada orang cakap "dengan ketentuan Allah, apa pun boleh jadi", then kenapa tak doa orang yahudi yang kita kutuk tu mati semuanya? though aku rasa Nasir Bilal Khan sesuai jadi pengganti M.Rajoli main watak uztaz, tapi aku rasa cerita tanah kubur is bodoh kerana trying to apply fear so believers would be a bit devoted.

religion is for people to be a better person. bagi tahu aku agama mana yang ajar umatnya jadi tak tentu arah? agama zeus je setahu aku. sikit punya hal, "release the kracken!". pejadah? agama aku mahu aku bertanggungjawab menjadi penganutnya dan tidak melupakan tanggungjawab aku sebagai anak, abang dan esok, suami. itu lah agama bagi aku. and i chose Islam.

how many times zeus has released the kracken? we are bound for 1 'kracken', that day will come.

Idler

Tactically Outclassed.. Yet Again

2011-07-29T01:47:00.001+08:00

i've wrote it down that Malaysia versus Singapore is the same as the Manchester Derby. Malaysia is City and Singapore is United. Red versus Blue. all this while, no matter how good the blue half of manchester have become, they will fail eventually. how many times have we beaten Singapore?

its been 18 years since i stepped inside a stadium. last dulu masa zaman David Mitchell, Mehmet Durokovic, Azman Adnan main selangor. masa tu seronok. dengan Rusdi Suparman punya celebration pakai baju superman. epic. today i've stepped in a sold out stadium. hell it was loud. and i've never been as loud as tonight before.

tonight was a different game. Singapore lead 5-3 and Malaysia have to win at least 2-0 in Bukit Jalil. Rajagobal was wrong about his comment to the media. it was not Singapore who's under pressure. it was his squad. 80,000 fans, 2 goals to score, and none should be conceded. the pressure was on us.

remember the champions league match between Real Madrid and Barcelona? Singapore adopted the Barcelona tactics. time wasting and they fell quite easily. if you love it when Barcelona won the champions league, then don't complain about how Singapore outclassed Malaysia today.

to me Rajagobal is not the man. he could not adapt. for 2 games. he's like Arsene Wenger. always fail to adapt. he knew that the Singaporean defenders are tall, and the Malaysians player pumped the ball forward inside the penalty box knowing that Safee Sali has 25% chance of winning the header. and even if he did, there's no one there to get the ball he played.

okay, blame the pitch? what else can we blame now? the referee? the Singapore tactics? well, i blame Rajagobal for he could not adapt when he already knew the fact and logic.

about the foreigner thingy.. its lame. we have our own. tunggu nak panggil je. maybe when he's 34 we can call him up and play for his second country. for Aston Villa midfielder and currently playing for Celtic, Shaun Maloney.

Idler

We Are Rempits After All

2011-07-28T15:53:00.000+08:00

so Chelsea has filed a formal complain for the abuse Yossi Benayoun received during Chelsea match against the Malaysian XI. the behaviour i considered as the same as Samuel Eto'o received during his time in Spain.

to say that the fans booed Benayoun because of the way he left Liverpool is lame. the truth is, we are an anti-semitic country. we've watched too much propaganda on TV. what we saw inside the box was Palestinians butchered by the Israelis. Palestinians, they don't have guns. come on, who would go to war without guns? there is no such thing as fight in the name of god anymore. the war there is only for the land. ever wonder why other arabs didn't help the Palestinians? answer; because its not their land.

"semua melayu rempit"

yeah, malays would deny this or easily get furious over it. bodoh. but we go on and on telling other malays that:

"semua cina itu suka bolot duit"
"semua india tu perompak"

honestly, to me, my few chinese friend is the most dear to me though we didn't really chill out everyday. but it was through them i really know what's the meaning of a good friend. i have a chinese friend who helped me with my music and never really asked for payment. because we are friends. who asked for places if a malay friend can earn cash by singing where the chinese sings.

my duo project with a fellow malay was a failure because that friend talk shit about me. back stabbed me because he wants the girl who was quite close to me. brilliant. but i would never deny that he could be a good singer and his guitar skills are way better than me.

i'm an anti-terrorism. regardless who's the people behind it. i didn't cheered when the World Trace Centre fell. i didn't laughed at the americans. it is just sick. to see people die. and yeah, fuck to the 'modern-muslims' who said they fight in the name of god. the truth is, they fought for their own personal interest.

we saw bombings, we saw butchering by the muslims on TV. why didn't we say anything about it? why did we get furious when other people do that to us?

"bukan semua orang islam tu pengganas"

yeah yeah. bukan semua orang yahudi tu kerja bunuh orang islam.

i don't know where did all these malays put their brain. they said they are different from the jew they hate. but they support it when a muslim did the same thing to a jew. accepting revenge is not the way of a muslim. kalau kau buat apa dia buat, apa bezanya kau dengan dia? we said we are different and yet, we would do the same thing they did to our kin.

the behaviour of booing Benayoun just showed where the anti-semitic malays put their brains at. yeah. bawah ketiak. kepam. busuk dan hitam tanpa nivea whitening deodorant. he just play football. and what if he's against his zionist country? do we care? no. we malays don't care. as long as they are jews, we should bash them.

well i guess we are all rempits and terrorist after all.

Idler

The Teacher in Me

2011-07-28T01:12:00.000+08:00

to see the Education Minister on TV today is annoying to me. really. how could he become the education minister? he didn't even know the best way to learn a language. a business man would never make a good teacher. and since he's not even near to a teacher, hell he don't know what's important in education.

an english teacher of mine told me about TESL. i took it during college. didn't finished it. but ever since then, i know i can be a good teacher. i wanted to be a teacher but no, not anymore.

i worked as a substitute teacher for a month in 2009 at Sekolah Menengah Perempuan Kapar, Klang. a month that opened up my eyes and makes me want to bash the system even more.

the first thing that happened was the PPSMI thingy. i worked for a week and the whole system changed. the Penyelia Petang gave me a new schedule and it was cramped. not that i'm complaining about the time but due to the system turning their back on art. no, we don't have music in secondary school. more time in english doesn't mean students can learn that language better. students need exposure outside of school too.

second thing that happened was i was accused of stealing the PIBG money. yeah. as much as we don't want to judge book by it's cover, but that's what we did eventually. just because i'm the youngest teacher there, and i didn't wear proper shoes to work (i wore a black converse), and i don't look like an educator, the community accused me. though they didn't really say it out loud, i kind of got it from the look on their face. why? the teacher who keeps the cash sat beside me. i mean, her table is beside mine.

no matter where we go, there's a community. and there's sub-communities inside the community. at school, the teacher's room is divided by two. and teachers only mingled among their clicks. i'm a shy person, and i spent most of my time alone or at the teachers' rest area. i did spent some time with my juniors who happened to be on their practicum there. and there was this one time where one of the half of the teacher's room invited me for their pot-luck thing. well, they have it everyday, that was the first time i was invited. and i did took a plate and ate something. and guess what, i saw the other half's teacher gave me face.

the ministry have this best school principal yearly. to me, this award shouldn't be around. the principle did not teach, well most of them. principals just sits and do the administrative work. funny that the principal gets all the credits but not the teacher's who trained the students that won something.

you see, wherever you work in the government sector, and how many contribution you've made, the one who will get the credit is your boss. how many teachers get the really get the credit from their contribution? none. practicum teachers will be forced to paint murals every single time. who gets the credit? the art teacher who don't really have a job at school because art was kind of canceled on the schedule.

every single school should have their own best teacher award. this way the people upstairs will get to know these teachers. but hey, living in communities under communities won't make this easier. not all teacher mingle among each other. i still remember one of my junior at the school i worked in talked shit about this one teacher because this one teacher fucked her up. yeah. makcik tua memang begitu. dah menopause.

the system sucks but my time there teaching was great. no. not because i only teach little girls but the place opened up my eyes. okay, unless you're pedophiles, you might have more fun than me.

not a lot of us wanted to be a teacher by choice. some of us went off to be a teacher because there's nothing left on classified or plainly for the salary. you can really turn rich if you're an english teacher and stationed on the island around Borneo. higher wages means higher rate of cikgu makan gaji. the veteran teachers are tired and battered. not a lot of them still want to teach properly. and the new ones are too worried about their lives. but yeah, without the increase in salary, not a lot of people will become teachers.

i took my 800 ringgit cheque and never to return to school again. not until the toad-faced up there resigned and replaced by someone who really know education. but no. that will never happened because most politicians does not do education thingy for PhD. and because politicians will only let people around them rule, this will never happen too. most real PhD in Education will never sit on throne in the ministry office. trust me. there are a lot of PhDs out there who talked shit about the current education system. and of course, about the toad-faced up there. please smile when someone is taking your picture, old man.

Idler

It Was Science

2011-07-26T23:33:00.000+08:00

people who knows me well, they know i'm one hell of a lazy person. i ate a lot, i've reached 75 kg once, but i still look the same. i wanted to gain some weight but didn't make it.

i camped in front of the tv most of the time. with my laptop and a jug of tea beside me. my room is smelly due to the cigarette smoke.

"bapak pemalas! gemuk!"

i believe, obesity was not caused by food that contain lemak in it's name. nasi lemak was not the cause of obesity.

Obesity?!

It Was Science!

LOL! really. think about it. gamers, nerds, geeks, we camp in front of the tv. most of us are round and smelly because we didn't move at all. whoa, i shared a room with an obes. he didn't move. the place he sleeps is the place he studies and eat. the plastic wrap of his food is around his mattres. fuck! the room is fucking smelly. but thanks to my cigs the room didn't smell super duper bad.

look around us. we sit at one place with our gadgets. laptop users might need a plug point for the power. how long do we sit at one place without moving. you want something, just call the waiter and order. the time we have to move is when we need to pee or shit. tak tau la kalau ada yang kencing dalam botol kat kedai mamak. fuh!

because of science, we have cars and bikes. we don't walk anymore. nak pergi rumah jiran hujung jalan pun naik kereta bagai. people once asked me, how do i stay thin. my answer is "i walk... a lot". all those pills on tv are craps. come on. tak payah makan sebab nak kurus. orang makan banyak, kalau pergi jogging, they will stay in shape. but because we don't wanna go out and jog, because of the laziness inside, we chose pills. seriously beb, nak kurus? JOGGING!

science is the cause of obesity. i believe so. kids nowadays prefer to play football on their PS3. they said they can beat Manchester United with their Barcelona. i can beat my favorite team, Manchester United with Stoke City takde hal pon. but yeah. games are so popular today. dulu semua orang dok kutuk game ni bodoh. don't tell me those girls who said us geeks are fucking boring did not play games on facebook.

facebook. tweeters, handphones. these are the things that made us fat. when i was young, i have to walk 30 minutes just to tell my best friend to go out to night. nak pergi public phone, duit tak ada, buat beli rokok. dulu rokok murah. lalalala~ we simply don't walk anymore.

yes science made our lives better. but to blame nasi lemak because our child is getting fat is so fucking wrong. come on. look at your child if you have one, how many times did they go out and and play? how long did they spend inside of the house in front of the TV. with their video games or laptops. how long? today's child sweat because of the heat, not because of exercising or extreme body movements (lol).

thank you for saying art is not the way. because of science, our child are fat. art has got nothing to do with it. there's no art in writing facebook statuses. but there is art in kicking a football.

where does obesity starts again?
oh
It Was Science!

Idler

Okay, Who's Helping?

2011-07-26T23:06:00.000+08:00

my dad worked in the environment ministry when he was young. 5 years there, and he was blacklisted from working in any governmental department. according to my grandma, he was interviewed for a promotion and his superior asked him "encik kerja di bahagian mana?". my dad was furious and replied with "5 tahun aku kerja kat sini kau tak tau aku kerja kat bahagian mana?". and off he got starting his own business until a few years after his death.

i don't really know who my father supported politically. but judging by his past, i think he's supported the opposition.

and me. i don't give a damn about politics. politic is a mockery to freedom, human rights and truth. yes i shit about bersih and all. but that's all because the 8 things they wanted. none in the 8 asked the prime minister to step down and replace him with the opposition leader.

the thing is, i'm pretty sure, if the opposition leader did managed to sit on the throne, he would do the same thing the man before him did. why do i believe this? because of the malay saying; "hutang darah di bayar darah" or in english, "blood for blood(?)". malays, we are this. when some one stab us, we stab them too instead of thinking of a way to pay twice the pain.

on TV, on the news, they told us about how the government helped people around. 1 thing that took my attention was the 6 millions ringgit spent to renovate the Taman Tasik Perdana to Taman Botanical Perdana whatsoevershit.

how is that Botanical Gardens helps people? oh. they can do taichi in the morning and walk in the afternoon. when the night comes, it will be the place for rempits to gather up and do things. more problems on babies. who knows. but its possible.

poverty is still around. why the fuck is that the government did not use this 6 million to build a shelter. why charity and social workers have to this job by themselves? why didn't the government start it? if the government really helps people, you won't see beggars on the streets.

oh they said beggars are parts of a crime. a syndicate. if it really is, why isn't one cop, a fucking cop in disguised went down to observe and follow those beggars. just to make sure if it really is a fucking syndicate.

how is that the government helps the people? we have to clean the debris from construction near our house because the developer won't clean it. the authority didn't come and take any action towards the developer. and what happen next? mosquitoes around our house. i've been living in section 7 shah alam for years now, and the mosquitoes problem is getting worse.

"tapi kan gahmen fogging setiap petang"

you can fog the whole day if you want. you fog in front of the house but did not fogged the source. its at the back of our house. and we are so stingy to call a truck to take the containers. ini kerja kementerian alam sekitar kot.

so tell me how is that the government helps the people. TV3 has been telling you shits all these years. the authority will only take action once the media is around. just to make sure people can't bash them more. bila Karam Singh Walia ada, baru la kelam kelibut nak tunjuk gahmen ni tolong rakyat. but i why the fuck didn't they solve the problem before.

the current government has fed us lies on TV. trust me, the people after them will do the same. the people who opposed them will do the same thing. they don't care about us. they don't.

Idler

We Were Outclassed

2011-07-24T02:58:00.003+08:00

i have to admit, watching Malaysia Vs Singapore is like watching the Manchester Derby. Where Malaysia is the blue half and Singapore is the red half. its similar. you see, City and Malaysia was big a long time ago. and today both of the team is on the rise again. trying to beat their fiercest rival. but in the end, they both will fail. to City; money won't give you a long time success though you can buy the titles you want. to Malaysia; over confidence. enough said.

"cakap besar, ha! itu makan dia!"

no i'm not going to write reviews here. because everyone already did. gonna write a lil bit about tactics and some pre-match preparations.

The Tactics

Rajagobal was totally outclassed by his counterpart, Radojko Avramovic. i've played Football Managers for years now and i can see the flaw of the Malaysian tactics. yes, you can argue that game can't be compared to the real thing. but through the tactical aspects, trust me, it can.

Singapore uses the pace of their wingers. attacking down from both flanks. this means they are playing as wide as they can. which means they are living some gap in the middle. when Malaysia won the ball, they tried to start counter-attacking moves but often failed. why? because they wen't through their wingers too while the midfielders have tons of space to move and provide some good passing for our strikers. this is what Rajagobal failed to adapt during the match.

Malaysia back four is totally terrible. marking was terrible. and they are not too aggressive. i don't see any 1 of the back four would throw their body to prevent a goal. 1 thing i noticed is that, during one of Singapore attack, 3 malaysia players closed down the man with the ball. and none. i repeat, none made a challenge. you don't need 3 players to mark an opponent. 2 close down and 1 make the challenge.

and players, fans or the manager can complain about the synthetic pitch of Jalan Besar Stadium. yes, the ball bounce quite easily there. but i say. ADAPT. you know the ball bounce so don't play long balls. just short simple passing. making the ball stays on the ground. no i don't blame the number 9 for not scoring the easy-tap-in goal. but i would bash the manager for not telling his player to play short simple passing through the midfield.

logically thinking. if the the opposition defenders are tall players. they have higher chance to win the ball in the air. to counter this; short simple passing. we know Safee Sali is good on the ground. and yet, Rajagobal did not exploit that. Singapore defenders are slow.

(thank you Tactical Theorems '10)

The Pre-Match Preparation

i'm not saying that tactically Radojko Abromovic was super duper good. because we did managed to score 3 goals tonight. i believe the reason Singapore scored 5 goals is because the motivation they have and the confidence to win the match. Malaysia lack this.

Singapore last 5 matches was against teams that are on the same level as them. their last game was against Taiwan, which they won 3-2. i couldn't find the result for the other but i remember that they had lost 1-0 to a team that i can't remember but on the same level as them.

Malaysia senior squad preparation was terrible. they lost 4-0 to Arsenal and 6-3 to Liverpool. we might say that we did managed to score 3 goals against Liverpool. but to concede 6, do you think defenders can be motivated with that. i saw the looks on Khairul Fahmi's face. he was not proud. no goalkeeper want to concede 4 goals in a match. Safee Sali was on fire. he brought that to Jalan Besar Stadium. while the back four brought their terrible form there.

the big clubs in club football uses friendlies as a training ground to gain fitness. these footballers, who went on holiday for a month might partied for the whole month and lost their fitness. once they've been called back to start their training, they might have to work twice as much before to gain their fitness back. fitness is important in club football friendlies. not result. plus. this is the chance for players like Aquilani to prove that he has a role to play for Liverpool. but the main goal for the matches are fitness and of course, revenues and ka-ching!~ yes, by winning in friendlies, players will be motivated and have high confidence.

- to score goals are good for the attacking players

- to not to concede is the aim for the defensive players

so the Malaysia defeat against Arsenal and Liverpool was not the thing to be proud of. those matches made our back four brought their terrible form to Singapore to be exploited. i believe if we prepare some matches against similar level squad might help with the motivating and confidence level. this is why manchester united won't meet liverpool on friendlies.

no i'm not saying that we can't bring big club to go against the malaysia squad. but too many might destroy some thing. and as for tonight. our defense.

Chelsea and Arsenal shouldn't have come. Arsenal especially. Chelsea went against the Olympic squad. as for Liverpool. come on! this is the first time The Reds are playing here on this Tanah Melayu. the very first time. now we see that Liverpool never die. this is a prestigious club. Liverpool here is okay. yeah, funny that this came out from a hardcore Manchester United fan. but i'm a fan of football too remember?

Rajagobal was wrong to talk about locals didn't wear the national color during the Liverpool match. uncle, if this is the first time Manchester United come here, you wouldn't be wearing the national colors too.

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where does this brought us? FAM? any comments from FAM? of course no. there will be once we win. typical Malaysians would always want someone else to take the blame.

if we lost to Singapore next thursday, i believe Rajagobal would be stripped off his Dato'ness / Dato'ship / Dato'kayo!

to think about it. we talked about qualifying for the World Cup. well, did you look at how many rounds we have? we are in the second round. we have to finish at least 2nd in the 3rd round group stage. this is where the big guns kicks in. we haven't face the big Arabs, the skillful Koreans, and the hardworking Japanese. qualifying for the world cup requires a lot of things. and it is still impossible today.

"lek bro, kita ada second leg lagi. boleh menang"

and my answer to that;

"how can we win 2-0 with that kind of defense?"

maybe next time i'll write about Malaysian rants on Singapore foreign players.

Idler

It Was Art

2011-07-22T02:30:00.001+08:00

i'm not fond of science and math. i'm more to language and i love art. drew a lot of things when i was at school. boys, the ones who can draw (though the one who can't), we have our own comics. most of them are about fighting the evil thing because of the influence of Dragon Ball and Dragon Quest. some of us have our own Captain Tsubasa or Jaguh Bola Sepak. mine was called Tiger Strike.

my dad once read a Dragon Ball like comic of mine. and he said the story was nice, for a 10 years old boy. and he kinda likes my Tiger Strike. i don't know where the comics are now.

i hate the education system in Malaysia. they wanted us to learn things the balanced way. so there's math, science versus languages. i wonder if the toad face minister know that logical + linguistic learner are very rare. hell i don't think he knows how many types of learner we have. this country is exam oriented. we need to score As to get the praise and they turned their back on our practical skills. some people, like me, i'm not good at paperwork. in class during my college days, my friends would do the paperwork since they know they have me to presents all their shit. yeah. a lot of us are good at these. we're the one who really get the job done. not the one who sits behind the desk. i would appreciate the engineer rather than the pilot.

my sister introduced me to Gag Concert, a Korean comedy thingy. i kinda like it. no. i totally love it! it was funny. funnier than, of course, Apek. then i watched the news a few days ago. currently, there is this Korean language class who taught for free. then i thought about it. it was art that brought people together (beside sports that are not americans).

i'm gonna say this to all the people who said science and math are the only things that connects people. you can build rockets to the moon, you can build a hybrid car, you create a replacement for petroleum. but you will never make people connect each other. to me, until the day you die, you are the goons of the government (to some country) or to some who pays you.

Abbey Road, London. there is this crossroad that people will always queue up to take pictures on. why is that? becuase The Beatles took their album cover there. Who is the Beatles? if you ask that, please go die. 21st July 2011, Laila's Cafe, Kelana Jaya. Beatles brought us together. enjoying the music without worrying about where people came from or what color is your skin. one hell of an epic night.

It was the dramas, music and art that brought South Korea on the map of the world. kalau tak ada Winter Sonata, kak. tak ada lah benda lain yang datang selepas nya. it was art. it was not their facial product Simplisitinurhaliza. it wasn't their car. it was their art that made us Malaysians want to learn their language, enjoy their music and know their culture. it wasn't science or math. it was art.

trust me, it was their music that made Indonesians took all the things they can get their hands on here. not their politics. not their scientific creation.

why bieber is here? because he's an artist. why do people gather to see him? because he does arts. not science. who bloody cares if he's a scientist who created the rocket to the moon.

why is that Malaysia haven't been acknowledged around the world? why is that a lot of people in Europe doesn't know where Malaysia is? because our art sucks. dari drama to movies, dari bahasa ke lagu. because we do science more here than we do art. yes we produce oil and rubber. but how many people want to know Malaysia for that?

put the dengki and mengata aside, and have one hell of an epic movie or dramas. and good music and arts. i won't have a doubt about us being known to the world. because it was art that brought bollywood here. it was art that brought Japanese and Korean Culture here. it was art. not science.

how many of us really appreciate art? i can say 30% of Malaysians. art was not the way of life here.

how do we fix this? put someone who really know education system and someone who appreciates art on the throne. its really fucked up when educators replaced arts and music during UPSR, PMR and SPM.

no matter what color your skin is.
no matter how ugly you look.
no matter how old you are.
if your art is good.
people will appreciate you.

we need more creative people here. not another scientist who sits behind a desk all day. creative people connects people around them. and hell i know and i'm really sure that science and math won't make people creative because they have theories and fact and pembolehubah bagai. but in art, we can really do what we want. paint something up or just scribble anything. ever hear Beatles' Revolution 9? it was loud and out of order. but that is one hell of an experiment. art makes people think out of the box. gives new ideas. why is that possible? because those people with the ideas does think the artistic way.

It was art that connects people. not science. science just made it possible. kalau ade teknologi pun, tapi music, lukisan, tulisan macam sampah, sapa nak?

Malaysian education are balanced? yeah, balanced my ass!

Idler

Commentate This

2011-07-17T17:36:00.001+08:00

i'm a fan of football. for the love of the game, i'll watch any match i can. as long as it's live. wouldn't watch the one which i already know the result. recently Malaysia squad won the AFF Suzuki. and since then, Malaysians are starting to watch football again. i'd love to watch in the stadium because i know i can be loud and the atmosphere is different. but because i'm jobless, i can only watch on TV. and you watch on TV there's a commentator. and Malaysia's matches most of the time are in Malay. Astro Arena.

thank you Astro Supersport for showing Malaysia vs Liverpool match. i wouldn't watch it in Malay if i have the option. why wouldn't i? because...

1) Trying to Sound Smart and Nice
"Oh! beliau cuba sesuatu yang specular disitu, eh. specu.. spectacular! ya!"
aku dengan adik-adik aku gelak je. macam bodoh. bang, kalau abang tak boleh sebut, jangan sebut. sebab sekarang tengah Live. siapa yang sebut ayat di atas? jawapan: Asbullah Awang.

2) Trying to Sound Funny
"ya, tiga-tiga sama botak disitu" atau
"hari ahad ini merah juga" (during Arsenal match recently) atau
kau ingat kau kelakar ke? sebenarnya ada banyak lagi. tapi aku da lupa. try tengok rematch kat Astro Arena.

3) I'm Malaysian, I should support Malaysia!
i believe commentators should be neutral. kau tengok world cup. ada commentator English yang support England kutuk German lepas England kalah dengan German? ada? ada? tak ada kan? ya. kau boleh argue yang English ni universal language, that's why they have to be neutral. and kita yang guna Bahasa Melayu ni tak perlu neutral sebab kita mesti support squad Malaysia. kau ingat semua orang sokong squad bola sepak Malaysia ke? tidak darling. sebab tu kena neutral.

kalau dapat tengok rematch Malaysia lawan Liverpool kat Supersport, tengok. bandingkan apa yang di commentate-kan.

John Barness, Liverpool legend, sendiri cakap gol Safiq Rahim cantik. cakap yang Safi Sali bawa kelainan ke dalam squad. though first half tu dia cakap "its quite embarassing for the Malaysians for giving the ball away too often". throughout the match he's a neutral on the job. John Barnes said that Malaysia need to be calm and the goal will soon come. we all know that its not really hard to crack the Liverpool back line with Krygiakos in it.

tengok match Malaysia vs Taiwan. aku tak tau commentator siapa. but selagi boleh kutuk, di kutuk nya team Taiwan. goal taiwan sebiji cantik, diam je. neutral? though tak boleh deny 2 biji goal free kick Malaysia agak cun.

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tapi aku rasa cam bangang juga kalau tengok bola kat TV takda commentator. so aku tak kesah commentator Melayu ke English. pedulikan. dulu ada commentator English yang orang Malaysia kat Astro Supersport masa Astro baru keluar dulu. 1998. bapak aku cakap: "gila kelam kelibut".

semalam, kalau korang tune in to Supersport 1 (811) lepas match Liverpool, ade match Arsenal lawan Huangzhou (kot) Greentown. ESPN kata, Arsenal struggled, seri 1-1. tapi tengok match tu... sunyi. tak ada commentator. lagi aku gelak. tapi bila fikir balik...

Siapa nak tengok Arsenal weh? Arsenal kan Academy bola sepak untuk Barcelona, Manchester City, Arsenal, Real Madrid etc. je. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHHAAH!

Idler

Satu Hari Nanti...

2011-07-15T03:10:00.000+08:00

Satu hari nanti...

aku mahu naik public transport sampai Padang Besar, Perlis...

dan berjalan kaki ke Johor Bahru, Johor...

Idler

Tribute To Alex Yoong

2011-07-14T01:48:00.000+08:00

No, he is still alive...

Fernando Alonso haven't won the F1 Championship for years. but yet, Spanish cheered him during the race at either Catalunya or Valencia. most of the people out there will cheer for their locals but not us Malaysians. Bila tengok wrestling, Canadians will cheer Chris Jericho, Edge or Christian though they are playing the heel script.

back to F1, why is that Ferrari didn't win the Championship since Kimi Raikkonen? Why Redbull Racing dominates the competition recently. the answer: the formula of the car.

I dedicate this one to our first Malaysian F1 driver, Alex Yoong.

"ah! bodoh la mamat ni. qualify pon tak lepas. ini kan pulak nak menang"

yes, we heard that before. i admit, i did said that too. but when i sit and ponder on it, i feel like calling Alex Yoong on the phone and apologize. I should've supported him when he was racing. but i didn't. how many of us did?

a lot of us said that Alex Yoong is not a good driver. if he was not, he wouldn't be driving an F1 car. ade gak cite yang gahmen bayar untuk Alex Yoong masuk. as in, bayar kalau kete rosak. but still, we should've supported him.

think again my friend. why didn't the great Michael Schumacher win a race since his comeback? the answer: the car. the car was not good enough. is still not good enough. though Brawn GP won the championship on her debut season. that season, Brawn GP was using a double diffuser. not a lot of team used it, not until the last half of the season. Renault was totally against it. but they did used it later on. you see, double defuser made the car a bit better than the ones which are not using it.

let's go further back in the year where Renault won the Championship with Fernando Alonso as her driver. it was 2005. that year Renault has the best traction control. they develop it the next season and they retained the title. it was an epic season. i totally love it because for the first time in many years, another team won the championship.

when the car is not good, a really good driver won't win anything with it.

Redbull racing bought a team and changed its name to Torro Rosso. a sister team to the Redbull Racing. this is great because the time needed to develop a car will be shorter since they have two teams. Redbull Racing car is perfect in recent years. beating McLaren, Ferrari. put in the best driver you can get, and walla, you can win the season.

its the car. not the driver.

my dad told me that Valentine Rossi moved to Yamaha because the previous Honda team said that it wasn't him, it was the bike. and Rossi proved them wrong, he won ton of shits with Yamaha. so i asked myself, "what if Michael Schumacher drives a Minardi? can he win something?"

my dream came true when Michael Schumacher signed for Brawn GP. look at him now. finishing 9th and or 10th. yes, we can say that he just need more time to synchronize himself with the current car. well, if you say that, i'm gonna bash with "why haven't Fernando Alonso win the championship with Ferrari?"

you can have all the time in the world, but a bad car will not win.

what if Alex Yoong was driving a mid-finishing car? a Honda or a William during his F1 career. i'm sure he will score points because those cars are way better than the crap Minardi. he shouldn't be called a bad driver. he was just driving a really bad car. kalau tengok minardi racing, kompem da tau memang akan finish last. score point pon kat Indianapolis US Grand Prix 2005. kau tau kenape? sebab kete tayar pakai tayar michellin banyak masalh. 7 team tak participate. 3 team je racing. Minardi finished 5th and 6th.

Alex Yoong was not a bad driver. kalau tak, dia takkan finish 1st mase A1 GP 2006-2007 kat Czech Republic. A1 GP pulak, is not a developing-car racing thing. means semua kereta sama. takde yang pakai double defuser or traction control yang epic.

Idler

Smokers and You

2011-07-14T00:59:00.000+08:00

dulu, rokok dunhill 7 dalam kotak yang epic cool harganya RM 1.70 je. aku time tu baru kena hasutan rakan sebayo untuk menghisap rokok. tengok pakcik aku isap samporna, aku pon beli samporna sekotak. hisap, kepale jadi biol. monteng skolah. tapi time tu, sampoerna kotaknye bau kretek. kalo tekap pakai baju, baju tu nanti melekat bau kotak rokok tu.

have you ever wonder why the cost for a pack cig is way high these days? my answer is "the government didn't get much help from petronas since petronas will never help Malaysians though menaikkan nama Malaysia kat kereta F1 Mercedes GP yang ntah bila nak develop kereta bagus". dengan ada nya cukai rokok, maka boleh cover banyak subsidi. minyak, bahan mentah. cool bukan? i'm not blaming Petronas though, its a business company. so they run economically.

we smokers, we will complain about the price. but once the addiction kicks in, lets jom la pi kedai beli rokok. rokok cap ayam cam John Master, Saat tak mendatangkan untung sangat kepada gahmen. sebab tu susah nak dapat rokok cani. plus. tak sedap. hampeh. masuk angin. macam cilake.

bila bercerita pasal cukai dan income, kenapa kilang Carlsberg ngan sebagainya tak ditutup? sebab itu income bhai. kalau tutup, takde la income cukai. don't say you don't need liquor in this country, don't say you don't need cigarettes in this country. because these two things that made your live a lil bit better.

back to cigs. so, kalau rokok takde kat Malaysia, tak masyuk la negara. susah la nak merasuah sane sini bukan? harga barang lain pun akan naik sebab nak cover duit rasuah ngan subsidi. ding!

"menyampah la ngan orang isap rokok tu. nak mati, mati la sorang-sorang"

kak, kalau akak hidup lama gila pon, tapi harga barang lain akak tak mampu beli serupa takyah hidup je. akak patut berterima kasih kepada orang yang hisap rokok. sebab tanpa kami, gula pon jadi mahal okay?

we fucking die so you can live a better life.

if you believe that high price of cigs can make Malaysian smokers quit, you are dead wrong. we will always buy. we will always smoke until the day we die. or maybe quit we get married or something. orang yang bodoh je cakap harga tinggi tu boleh buat orang stop beli. dah tu, kalau minyak harga meletop, korang nak stop beli pulak kan?

stop all those "kami benci orang hisap rokok" thingy. nak nampak lagi bangang, buat la page kat facebook. then kutok orang hisap rokok. think about what will happen if we stop buying.

cigarettes won't kill me. People will.

Idler

Malay-ed

2011-07-10T23:11:00.002+08:00

"bahasa melayu dulu digunakan untuk berdagang serata dunia"

melampau betol exaggerating nye. dah kat belah Scandinavia sane orang bercakap bahasa melayu plak kan? belah Aztec sane pakai bahasa melayu plak? kalau cakap serantau asia tenggara aku percaya. the whole world? kelakar.

bahasa indonesia da banyak da buat begini. dan bahasa melayu juga sudah memulakan nya. tinggal nak nampak dan gelak je. aku nak letak gadget kat tepi ni. makin lame makin bangang bunyi nya.

perkataan english yang dah dimelayukan.

anti-ppsmi yang membebel nak jaga martabat bahasa melayu, korang patut perasan benda ni and da start membebel kat tenet. tapi apa kan daya. bahasa penjajah itu sampah bukan?

p/s: takyah laman sesawang sangat WWW sudah. ah.

Idler

Kedai Mamak

2011-07-10T21:48:00.000+08:00

i still remember, when i was still a cute lil kid, my dad usually took us siblings to a kedai mamak for breakfast. breakfast was a must, anywhere we go. and mamak shop was the choice.

today, young adults like me, spent a lot of time at the mamak. though the price is sky high, the food are bad, the drink taste sour, we still chill there.

but then.. i asked myself "why mamak?". a long time ago, yes, its cheap. a roti canai cost only 70 cents. a hot tea only cost 80 cents. why is it so expensive these days. kadang-kadang, kedai mamak yang takde orang pon harga meletop.

but then it popped up on my mind. human. yep. we are greedy beings. sewa kedai kat commercial Centre Shah Alam cost 6k a month. kat area Jakel 10k a month. so i guess, this is why the business must tag things with higher prices.

then i noticed another thing. aren't restaurant suppose to have menus? where are the menus in the mamak shop? Barra still ade lagi by the way. dulu, mase kecik. kedai mamak, kat belakang confirm ade papan menu besau nak mampus dengan harga sekali. you see, without this thing, mamat yang tulis bill tu boleh letak harga sesuka hati. kat barra plak, yg jaga counter bleh tag lebih. apeadehal. budak da cekik da pon. da kenyang.

then aku fikir. kalo da nasi + ayam + sayur + teh o ais pun da RM 8.50. bek aku makan McD je. Classy sket. kedai mamak takkan potong harga seketol ayam. kalau kita order maggi goreng, harga RM3.50. harga ayam seketol RM3. kalau maggi goreng ayam jadi RM6.50. haram jadah.

why is that budak lepak kat mamak tapi tak lepak kat kedai melayu? sebab kedai melayu tak banyak yang 24 hours. ini adalah sakit utk orang nocturnal macam aku. midnight is petang to us. and most nocturnal people are fucking lazy. aku tak nak datang lepak pukul 12, then kene pindah kedai sebelah sebab kedai memula datang tutup pukul 2 pagi.and this is why aku rase kedai melayu kurang mendapat sambutan untuk orang lepak. rempit ye la kot.

aku ingat, lepas ni, kalau aku lepak mamak, aku nak lepak minum je. makan, bek aku makan McD je. Classy.

Idler

Di Kaca TV Pada 9/7

2011-07-10T07:01:00.003+08:00

"jangan salahkan polis, dorang mengikut arahan je"

yep. i have to agree to that. but disebabkan orang kita suka tengok benda yang depan mate je, then aku pon ikot dorang la. aku nampak ape. kat tv tu. semua kat TV itu benar-benar belaka. sebab kotak bodoh kat ruang tamu tu sangat lah magical. kat kotak bodoh itu aku nampak:

1) Terrible Traffic

i heard it took 6 hours to reach KL from Ipoh on 9/7. I saw Genting Sempah toll was packed. orang memekak sebab traffic jam. da kalo ade 58 roadblock, memang la jam badigol. kalo da semua kete nak di tahan nye. mane tak jam. perhimpunan tu kat tengah KL, ape kes tol genting sangkut? sebab ade roadblock lepas tol le. kalo polis tak buat roadblock, ko rase jalan jam ke weh? Bersih 2.0 mahu berarak. bila da dibuat sekatan jalan, cemane dorang nak bergerak. bila tak bergerak, jalan jam le. Bersih itu mahu bergerak, keep that in mind.

"lorong smart tag tutop sebab smart tag warna kuning"

2) Ekonomi Lumpuh

lets say police tutop jalan masuk Commercial Centre Section 7 Shah Alam, ko rase ade orang masuk tak kat area tu? bile takde orang lalu, mesti takde orang masuk kedai, bila orang tak masuk kedai, dorang tak beli barang, bila tak beli barang, baru rugi. kalau jalan tak ditutop, orang lain akan jalan kat area tu, kedai confirm bukak punya.

berkait dengan sekatan jalan. Bersih mahu bergerak. bila ada sekatan jalan, baru la dorang stay kat 1 tempat tu lelame. jangan cakap kedai jual tudung boleh rugi ribuan ringgit 1 hari. bukan nye income kedai tudung 1 hari 50k. kalau tak dibuat sekatan jalan, peniaga akan still bukak kedai. bila bersih sampai, dorang tutop kejap, bila bersih da gerak, dorang bukak balik. Bersih itu mahu bergerak.

hari ni sebenarnya kedai makan paling banyak boleh buat duit. polis penat, penyokong bersih penat. kalo sekatan jalan tak diadakan, kedai makan confirm bukak. orang penat confirm p beli makan minum semua.

3) Ni Molotov Cocktail

abah kau~ you found bags of Molotov and some other dangerous items at around 3pm and the media can do a coverage at 5pm? what the fuck?! selamba jo ko pegang benda tu. isn't that evidence? bukan evidence patut process dlu ke. kalo ko jumpa cap jari (wah, macam filem melayu lama, cap jari je pakai) kan ke ko boleh tangkap orang tu. that. is. evidence. lepas tu cakap orang asli yang jumpa. well i say, you planted it, sebab tu takyah susah-suah nak process bagai. panggil je media.

when the media arrived, you say this and that, and voila. you just tell the people that they should be afraid because Bersih wants to start a riot. bang, kalo nak riot, dorang da baling da molotov sebiji. bukan susah pon nak buat molotov. but then. takde pon.

then the media aired it on the news. then people yang bebal got afraid and close their shops. ini punca ekonomi lumpuh. sebab orang takut nak buka kedai. ade ke riot tadi?

4) Here Come The Tear Gas

with the FRU standing everywhere, sapa nak buka kedai bhai? memang le ekonomi lumpuh bagai. kalo takde FRU tadi, keadaan tak akan nampak macam rusuhan kat arab sana. bila ade FRU baru la nampak macam serious sikit 'masalah' negara ni. kalau takde FRU, takde nampak macam riot. kalo tak ditembak nye tear gas, takde nampak macam riot.

weh, kalo Bersih betol nak merusuh, kau ingat polis tak terbakar ke weh? setakat tear gas. balas nye molotov beb. tapi sebab Bersih bukan nak merusuh. aku tak nampak pon macam nak merusuh. sebab tu takde polis terbakau. hah. sape yang buat nampak macam riot again?

1 benda kita tak sedar. orang luar tak suka tengok rakyat kene tindas dek kerajaan. ye. kat sini korang bole la cakap pasal perhimpunan bersih tu haram bagai. tapi bila orang luar tengok, dorang akan cakap, ini hak rakyat yang mengundi. ape yang demokrasi nye Malaysia ini bila rakyat nak strike sket je da nak kene pakai FRU. then dorang akan tengok ape yang Bersih perjuangkan. dorang takkan biseng pasal Anuar nak naik ke ape ke, dorang peduli ape. then dorang akan cakap kerajaan tindas rakyat sebab rakyat mintak rombak SPR, kerajaan patut bagi je bersih ni jalan sebab yang berhimpun tu pengundi. hak mereka.

5) Jangan Bergerak, Kamu Telah Di Kepung!

dengan bangga nya media cakap, polis dapat tangkap Abdul Hadi Awang. then aku nampak A.Samad Said steady je jalan lagi. WAIT SEMENET! bukan tadi Abdul Hadi Awang ngan A.Samad Said jalan sebelah2 ke kat KLCC, mase tu la Abdul Hadi kene tangkap kan? ape kess dapat tangkap orang pembangkang tapi tak dapat tangkap A.Samad Said? oh. sebab Pak Samad bukan orang pembangkang. beliau sasterawaan. kene tangkap pembangkang je baru boleh cakap ni hal peribadi pembangkang.

kat TV dok tunjuk ahli politik pembangkang. padehal ade 62 NGOs. asal tak tangkap dorang. bukan ke Bersih tu Harrommm? then orang luar negara yang tengok akan kata, "ni gahmen yang lebey ni, aku wiki Bersih 2.0 ade 62 NGOs. gahmen dorang cakap bersih itu harromm. tapi NGO tak ditangkapnye. agenda ni".

6) Tengok! Kotor Dah Jalan! Babi!

kerosakkan tu memang takleh deny la ade salah nye. itu vandelisme. tapi bila orang yang berkumpul tak boleh bergerak, dan ditembak nye dengan tear gas, dorang lari le, bile da sesak, dorang amek jalan drastic. meh pecah tembok senang nak cabut. logic doh. common sense.

kebersihan. oi, tax payer bayar cukai so kerjaan hire janitor. pasar malam lagi besepah dari 9/7, orang tak biseng pon. tandas awam semua berkeladak orang tak biseng pon. ape kes? nak cakap Bersih ni buat sepah, hari-hari pun negara kita bersepah. hari-hari pon orang kencing berak tak pam.

7) Rakyat Tidak Menyokong Bersih.
err.. yang p perhimpunan bersih tu bukan rakyat ke? yang mencarut kat tenet tu bukan rakyat ke? yang student kat Korea, Melbourne, Sydney, London yang bawak banner Bersih tu bukan rakyat ke?

then nak cite pasal tak dapat sambutan. orang ade internet la encik. google je. tak mendapat sambutan pejadah. asal takde pon media tayang gambar perhimpunan kat sane? kenape? da kalau tayang, takde la nampak bersih tu tak mendapat sambutan.

mane orang yang cakap "roadblock ni salah ni, dorang yang tah pape buat roadblock". mane ulasan orang yang berkata begitu? kamon, 28 juta penduduk, takkan aku sorang je yang bebel cakap roadblock yang buat jam sebenarnye. then mane orang yang membebel macam aku? kenapa tak tayang kat tv? uish. kalo tayang kat tv, nanti gahmen tarik hak siaran itu ini. rugi besau media prima.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

maaf media, orang dok skolah lame-lame yang belajar untuk dapat 87 A boleh ko kitai. aku. never. nehi. tak perlu degree pon nak pakai otak dengan betul. hanya perlu common sense je boleh nampak betapa bebal nye rancangan kat dalam Kotak Bodoh kat ruang tamu rumah.

kenapa media tak cakap ape yang aku cakap ni? takkan takde sorang pon kat media prima yang berfikiran macam aku. kamon. gila tipu kalau cakap takde.

selain drama, ade tak cara lain drama nak buat penonton jadi bengap? because this 1 sure didn't work on me too.

astro's request for increasing it's tariff has been rejected. silap2 astro awani yang tayang ape yang media prima tak bleh tayang. hahahaha.

I'm using my freedom of speech in a democratic country.

Idler

The Media

2011-07-09T21:41:00.000+08:00

aku suka tengok berita tv malaysia. sebab penuh dengan propaganda. aku rase kelakar sebab ramai orang da kene game dengan media. then kadang-kadang, aku macam sedikit gumbira dengan kanak-kanak sekarang yang mintak laptop ngan broadband sebagai hadiah birthday. sebab orang-orang yang tak reti pakai internet akan meninggal dunia. maka tinggal la budak-budak yang tak tengok TV tapi melepek dengan internet yang ade. maka propaganda telibisen tak boleh digunakan lagi.

GAGAL. yes. that is what i'm gonna say to the media. gagal. fail. and why is that?

1) media akan bercerita pasal how the gahmen kemain baik dengan rakyat. then tak pernah cite pasal how the pembangkang pon ade sumbang kepada rakyat juga.

2) tadi, bersih. dari aku bangun tido pukul 3, dok cite pasal bersih je. then aku cam... "mane cite patriot?" kat tenet ade je gamba dorang pon berkumpul. apehal patriot berkumpul boleh tapi bersih tak boleh sedangkan 2-2 pertubuhan ni tak register lagi.

3) kalo tengok strike kat luar negara, wartawan steady je interview orang yang tengah strike. apekes tv3 takde pon interview orang yang sokong bersih?

4) ha'ah, dok tayang je rakyat yang cakap bersih itu menyusahkan bagai. mane orang-orang yang cakap polis yang bodoh buat roadblock, polis yang salah sekat sane sini. polis yang meriuhkan lagi. mane? ade weh. bukan takde.

tp ye la. syarikat tv ni nak income. banyak benda nak kene jage. jadi bila tak cite pasai gahmen, kompem la banyak benda gahmen buat kat dorang nanti. sebab tu takde cite pasal pembangkang. tapi, ye la. orang-orang yang tak celik ikot je. percaya. tapi ini kita kene paham la. dorang nak cari makan. cuma sekarang takde orang nak memalukan dorang lagi.

mungkin one day, one of the youth out there akan run internet tv sendiri. buat coverage berita politic yang tak berat sebelah. tayang kat tenet for the sake of berita. bukan propa. i hope it will happen. sebab youth sekarang bukan bebal macam pokcik mokcik semua. da ade internet. macam2 benda boleh fikir.

and since tv3 dok tibai orang je, one day these youth will tibai dorang directly. tengok media prima handle cemane plak. baru rase.

we ain't that stupid anymore.

Idler

Beliau Yang Bijak

2011-07-09T16:38:00.001+08:00

orang kata, bahasa melayu itu indah. yes. sangat indah. ini bukan sarcasm. ini aku jujur. yep. memang indah. tapi bila digunakan dengan tatabahasa yang betul je. then ada orang biseng gila babi sebab nak jaga martabat bahasa melayu. aku suka bila bersembang pasal bahasa.

bila PPSMI melanda bumi Tanah Melayu ini, orang cakap ape salahnya belajar sains ngan math tu balajar bahasa melayu. bahagian ni aku suka gila. sebab aku tau point aku betul:

1) sok da masuk IPT, sains matematik tu semua in english.
2) bahan kat tenet banyak in english

aku rase, aku 30 kali ganda lagi bagus dari the current Education Minister walaupun aku ni degree pun tak habis. tapi tu la, orang ade PhD kan lagi bijak. so far, kebanyakkan benda education yang beliau approve, kebanyakkan nye aku rase bangang. common sense takde.

1) di rombaknya english literature kat sekolah. dia letak 1 of the fairy tale yang digunakan, "Rumpelstiltskin". ye, orang bandar mungkin tau sape itu Rumpelstiltskin. budak kat kat kampung, aku rase dorang tak tau. aku pon tak berape tau sangat pasal rumpelstiltskin. then sekarang budak kene belajar more than 1 of Shakespeare stuffs. alasan, kalo expose dengan benda tu, mereka akan lebih celik bahasa. bijak sungguh.

2) tukar-tukar PPSMI ikot suka. ape ke bangang? memang pening budak. asal tak tuka dr budak darjah 1 je. pelan2. then next year dorang naik darjah 2, bahasa inggeris lagi. yang senior dorang tak payah tukar. bangang.

3) banyakkan lagi masa belajar english. what the fuck weh? kalo sminggu tetiap hari belajar english pon, balik umah, tengok nora elina, jahanam gak english nye. tak pon tengok dubbed version of naruto. haramjadah.

katanya beliau bijaklaksana, tapi takkan tak tau that language is an acquisition. that kids learn language the best before puberty. exposure to certain language will make a person acquire that language. takde plak beliau yang bijaklaksana cakap, ibubapa perlu membantu anak-anak. takde. none. nil. bijaklaksana?

kalau beliau bijaklaksana, takkan beliau approve benda macam ni sesuka hati je. aku tak pernah rase beliau betul amek port. kanak-kanak masa depan negara? wtf masa depan negara kalo bdk2 dungu weh? SPM 20A tu bijak. padahal common sense takde. then jadi bebal. ikot je buku. don't make me start pasal buku sejarah sekolah. propaganda semuanya.

cita-cita aku nak jadi cikgu sekolah.. tapi lepas aku kerja sebulan sebagai guru ganti, aku jadi menyirap. dengan teaching staff cam pantek, ngan admin cam pundek. pastu ngan ministry yang tah pape. nak buat konon Malaysia ni budak-budak balajar balance, bahasa, sains, matematik. balance pejadah bila pendidikan seni dan muzik di tolak ketepi? balance gila bebeh.

then subject sivik yang tak payah ade pon takpe. buang mase je. nak ajar kenegaraan, gunakan buku sejarah. tapi disebabkan buku sejarah tu tak boleh menanam sifat kenegaraan kat bdk2 yang bukan melayu, sebab tu kene ade subject sivik. tak boleh hilang propaganda dalam buku sejarah tu. rugi orang melayu nanti. tuih~ kenegaraan la sangat. 1Malaysia la sangat.

Idler

The Perfect Troll

2011-07-09T07:18:00.000+08:00

if only i'm rich i would definitely do it. but what to do? i'm jobless remember?

i have a plan for a perfect troll. and this one is only for the Manchester United fans.

1) go get a ticket for Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool match against the national team. if you can only afford 1, fuck you, i couldn't afford 1 at all, buy the ticket for the Liverpool match.

2) gather all the other Red Devils, as many as you can, meet outside the stadium.

3) walk inside, if you can slip through, get to the nearest rival team's fans. never go behind the goal post, malaysia stadiums sucks.

4) when the player enters the pitch what you do is sing "Champione, Champione, Ole Ole Ole" until the referee blow the final whistle.

it will surely hit the Liverpool fans hard. Arsenal might get butthurt too. Chelsea, don't bother about them la, who bloody cares about Chelsea anyway?

players? Liverpool players will get butthurt more than the other teams. Arsenal might get lil bit butthurt. what to do, Emirates is a training ground for Barca and Manchester City. Chelsea... who bloody cares about Chelsea anyway? they wouldn't win anything without Roman Abramovic money pun~

then people will say that we united fans are living in past glories. tell them, we ain't Liverpool, we still win the major titles.

then people might say our team is in debt. tell them, we ain't Arsenal, we still win major titles.

then people might say our stars are getting old. tell them, we ain't Chelsea who need a billionaire to buy the club titles.

voila~ the perfect troll.

Idler

Terrorism Made it Worse

2011-07-08T19:03:00.000+08:00

so Osama is dead. well, i don't give a damn. he ain't real brother. its a hoax. come on. with all the bloody American weaponry and techs, and the "10 ways to kill bin Laden", they still took 10 years to kill a person. bangang? so to me, Osama is a hoax.

but then came the show "120 minutes that change America" on history channel a few days ago. some people might like it. but i think its sad. because people died there. a lot of them. a massacre by men who said they are fighting for the Muslims all around the world.

so all these suicide bombers believed that they are martyrs and shit. bullshit. takde dalam quran cakap kita kene bunuh diri sebab nak bunuh orang lain. what the fuck. God forbids murders.and yet, back in their own country, the suicide bomber's country, they shot women who go to work. they cut their wives lips for letting people hear her voice.

yes, this is what God told us to do. kill and cut anything that is not according to the teaching. yes, God want us to kill more people instead of saving lives by talking in peace. peace treaty never started, negotiation never held. they started it with bombing. yes, this is our Holy Quran told us to do? yes? bomb right away. killing should be avoided. and yet, these martyrs, jihad super holy muslim didn't do it. bodoh?

and they bombed a lot of places, you name it. America, England, Spain, Holland. have you ever thought: "what if the victims are also Muslims? some of them?". collateral damage? what kind of muslim kills another muslim? what kind of martyrs kill his own people? is this fighting in the name of god or just personal war? what if there were muslims, yes i believe there were muslims there in the World Trade Center. sacrifices for the greater good? pegi jahanam.

then came the French who forbid Arabs from wearing the Purdah. and we all blame the French for not understanding our religion. there were no problems on wearing Purdah before all those suicide bombings and terrorism started. it was until then they don't want their citizen wearing the purdah. this is for the nation own security. and i think its their right to do that. they are protecting their home.

take yourself for example. one day a purdah wearing woman came to your house asking for some donation, right when you flash the cash, she took out a gun and aim it at you. called her friends and rob your house. its a tragedy. and you say, no donation for purdah women anymore. you might not even open the door. its common sense influenced by experience. it is the same way how the French see the purdah women. they know most of the suicide bombers are muslim extremist. and some muslim extrimist might wear the purdah to conceal bombs. its a precaution.

blame the French? think again. i blame the one who fight in the name of god.

around the world, some muslims are having more problems even wearing the hijab than before. why? terrorism. because it has begun. so generally, people hate us muslims more than before. is this what they say fighting in the name of God so other Muslims can live a better life? bullshit bukan? what are they fighting for actually? they made it worse for us.

yeah, i always believe people who say they fight in the name of God are full off bullshit. to me they are using the religion to cover up their personal interest. war is crap, don't use religion to gain influence.

"Osama is real bro!"

"i don't care"

Idler

Cardiff City and Malaysians

2011-07-08T17:56:00.000+08:00

internet kene potong. epic bukan? what do expect? i'm a jobless man. thank you dear girlfriend for paying the bill, yet again. ye la, kalau tak bayar, nama awak juga yang blacklist. hahaha.

ok, let me start July with... Cardiff City Football Club.

Cardiff City is one of the Welsh football club beside Swansea and Wrexham who compete in the English football leagues. one thing that we might not know is that club is owned by two Chinese Malaysians. Dato' Vincent Tan the big shareholder and Dato' Chan Tien Ghee, the chairman of the club.

"tah pape beli Cardiff City, main kelab bawah. bapak tah pape do"

yeah, the Malays that we all know will say that. because we prefer to be big straight away instead of building it from scratch. macam footballers malaysia yang terus nak main kat Fulham, Liverpool or Chelsea instead of trying their luck kat lower league yang confirm dorang dapat main sebab they need a big squad. the minor teams will always need a big squad. that's why blackpool tak survive last season because the of tiredness. bukan semua orang boleh main every game. mereka bukan Frank Lampard yang super fit mase Chelsea menang title ke 3 mereka pada 2006.

one of the few things that the Malaysian ownership brought into the last season squad was Craig Bellamy. yes, that's why you didn't see him in the Premier League anymore. you see, Craig Bellamy is a Cardiff City fan since he was a little boy. Craig Bellamy is a Welsh footballer. most Cardiff City fans are Welsh. and they love Craig Bellamy. though Bellamy never played for the club before, he became an instant legend there.

the best part is about his wages. ko ingat murah nak bayar gaji Craig Bellamy? the highest earning player before Craig Bellamy came in was around 5k pounds a week. the owner used their own money, which is their company's money to pay for Craig Bellamy's wage, that is 20k pounds a week. and because of this, the fans appreciate the Malaysian owner. and that is why we can see the Jalur Gemilang dikibarkan oleh fans during a match.

Cardiff City will be wearing the jersey bearing the word "Malaysia" on the chest. sumpah ini iklan. and its a good one. but still. some malays will say thing such as this:

"ape kerajaan ni, orang kat Malaysia takde duit pegi beli kelab bola pulak"
to the people who said this i would really like to say "banyak sangat belajar kat sekolah agaknya encik ini. ini private company punya kelab. bukan kerajaan. uish.. banyak rasuah nanti. simpang~"

i say, the name is a really good advertisement. this is how the Chinese work and i'm in total respect for it. they rejected few other sponsors because they wanna wear the Malaysia brand. as a business man, come on, other sponsors will always generate more income than the word Malaysia. then why did they choose to wear Malaysia?

The Business View
-when people see the "Malaysia" on the kit, people will start to wonder.
-when they start to wonder they will google it up. where is Malaysia.
-its a third world country. why the fuck a third world country can own my boyhood club?
-what kind of business that they do in Malaysia?
-if they can buy a football club, means they are good businessmen there in the country.
-lets invest!

The Football Clubs View
-where is Malaysia?
-is there any good players there?
-send a scout!

isn't that good my fellow Malaysians? the fans didn't mind about the brand. they appreciated the Malaysian owner. orang tu da tolong kita dari sane, kita nak cakap dia salah lagi? what the fuck weh? jangan cite pasal kelab penjajah pejadah, ko ingat kalo takde penjajah, ko boleh maju ke?

Thank You Dear Cardiff Owners.

Idler

Dear Uztaz

2011-06-19T04:46:00.000+08:00

Dear Uztaz,
Who is Holier Than Me.

i read about why mothers day is harromm to be celebrated by muslims. and i laughed. what else after this? fathers day? hari isnin? hari selasa? hari ahad? what else wahai uztaz yang bijak berpropaganda? ape je yang tak haram kat malaysia ni wahai uztaz?

when i was young, you said its harromm to play music. oh how i thank god i didn't listen to you. music saved my life, not you and your stupid don't-do's.

then came the valentine's day. we can't celebrate it because you said it a Christian Saint's day, not because we'll be groping our partners from top to bottom.

"jangan weh, valentine's day ni hari dorang celebrate saint dorang"
"aiseh, bila lagi aku boleh meramas tetek awek aku kalo bukan valentine's day?"

1 question here uztaz, which Saint Valentine are you refering to? because last time i checked, there was 14 Saint Valentines. you don't know? what if one of the saint preach on the original Jesus religion, which what we believe is Islam. is it wrong to celebrate too?

mothers day. what's wrong with dedicating a day to my mom? bukannya saya sembah Zeus pon. do you know why we have mothers day uztaz? because, anak-anak kadang-kadang busy, sampai lupa hari raya ngan hari lahir mak mereka. bila ada iklan hari ibu, dorang akan ingat, dorang tertinggal sesuatu. and that's when they go back to their kampungs to meet their moms. plus, we malays, we dont express love that much to our moms, but by being there on mothers day, mothers will get the message.

and uztaz, you said its harrommm to bernikah in a mosque. you claimed that we should not do it in a mosque since the Christians and Jewish do it in their churches and temples. dear uztaz, let me ask you one thing. why are you wearing a skull cap? Jewish Rabbi wears em too. oh wait! Jewish Rabbi have 8 inches of beard. what's yours? oh shyte! i'm not gonna listen to you again. I will bernikah in a mosque. peduli ape saya. awak adalah siapa uztaz hendak mahu mengharamkan niat saya? adakah salah mendirikan masjid di dalam masjid?

mengapa uztaz yang tentukan segalanya? uztaz dapat sms dari Allah ke? Islam yang anuti adalah Islam yang menilaikan sifat murni, niat baik seseorang itu. uztaz ini Islam protestant kah? adakah saya kena ade janggut 8 inci untuk menjadi seorang Islam yang sejati? untuk saya tidak dipersendakan pabila saya berkata sesuatu yang agak bijak?

"uztaz, mengapa bla bla bla bla"
"bla bla bla bla bla. for i'm holier than thou, my child"

Idler

Who are we?

2011-06-18T02:08:00.000+08:00

orang melayu suka mengata. cari salah orang lain. tak pernah nak tengok diri sendiri...

bila orang india perangai macam cilaka sket, dorang cakap "India Estet".

bila orang cina cakap kuat sikit, dorang cakap "Cina Bukit".

MELAYU, mereka ingat mereka boleh terlepas. oh salah sama sekali.

MELAYU yang kecoh gila, hari-hari merempit, buat huru-hara kat kawasan rumah tu di panggil: "Melayu Kampung"

Who are we?

Melayu Kampung.

Idler

Why So Racist?

2011-06-18T01:34:00.000+08:00

think again, we said that this land of Malay is ours (Malays). all Indians and Chinese should go back to their mainland.

bodoh~
first, India and China is not the same India and China 50 years ago. its better there than here.

contribution. have you ever think what if some of the races are deported back to their mainland? think again.

Indonesians
i can say 95% buildings in the country has been constructed by Indonesians. the other 5% are the buildings where friendly neighborhood build their suraus and guard post. think again, without Indonesians, who would build another skyscraper? and since Indonesians loves to claim their shit, they might claim every single thing they built here on this very land of Malays. brilliant bukan? walaupun bumbung rumah aku yang dibina orang Indon pernah roboh, terima kasih Indonesians for bringing it up back.

Chinese
do you think it will be easy to get a business deal with a Malay? no, its not. Chinese people are good at business. and bila dorang lebih, korang cakap dorang condemn Melayu. Melayu p keje pon tanak bebeh. do you think its easy to get pirated DVDs at the night market without the Chinese? no, its not. its hard. what will happen to our Badminton then? Chong Wei dah takdo. oh, don't let me start on the list of non-Malays athletes yang menaikkan nama negara berbanding orang Melayu. Thank you Chinese. I mean it.

Indians
this one is big. our economy relies on the Indians' workforce. bila jalan berlobang. sapa yang tampal? Indians. Bila nak potong rumput, siapa yang potong? Indians. When we want to feel fresh, bathing with soap, who made sure that soap can be produced at the factory? Indians. mereka membanting tulang supaya anda hidup senang. Thank you Indians. I mean it.

Pakistani, Bangladeshi
sape nak serve korang kat kedai mamak? enough said.

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do you think Malays would work their ass out when the Indians and Chinese are out of here? hell no.

"kalo India da takde nak buat jalan, kan ade orang Indon"
"orang Indon sebok buat rumah ngok"

think again. why so racist? they contributed to this land, the chinese and indians especially. they have their rights too.

what's our contribution my fellow Malays? complains and condemning. yes.

Idler

Now I Got It!

2011-06-17T00:00:00.000+08:00

i arrived in Shah Alam at around 1pm this afternoon. mom told me to take care of my sisters while she's working outstation. ahh. panas sial Shah Alam. and since this afternoon, i've been playing video games and blog walking in front of the tv. 7pm, Nora Elena, listening while trying to shoot the enemy in the game is hard but something really caught my ears and it made me stop playing and so i can focus on thinking. and i've got it now. why this and what the fuck that.

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"kenape si Yvonne tu buat macam ni? culik-culik anak orang. Agama apa dia tu?"

WHOAA!! what the fuck was that? aku tak nak google sape scrip writer drama bodoh ini sebab dah sah-sah script writer Malaysian drama ni bodoh-bodoh. you see, you can't go on and talk like that in TV. well, i don't think its proper.agama ape? aku tak rase ramai non-muslim yang tengok cite ni, ke memang takde langsung. but if there is, tak ke mencetuskan isu agama kat sini?

ape baik sangat ke agama islam ni sampai nak cemuh agama yang bukan islam itu jahat gila? ape yang 1Malaysia nye kalo kat TV selambe je boleh cetuskan isu agama? minta Najib sila pantau? LOL! baik sangat ke orang islam takde menculik anak orang dan merogol budak 11 tahun dan campak bayi dari tingkat 5? solat 50 kali sehari semalam pun, kalo petang-petang mengumpat, serupa takyah solat kot. ape hak kau nak indirectly menyoal kebaikkan agama orang lain?

kau nak orang hormat ko tengah solat, tapi kau tanak hormat agama lain. terus je cakap orang yang jahat, bukan islam. ni punca isu perkauman. kata je melayu ni baik. padahal? meh sini aku aku kasi tau kau, aku ade seorang kawan cina yang nilai murninya lebih baik berbanding 30 orang melayu yang aku kenal. this is why 1Malaysia will never be one achievable crap. sapa kata orang Melayu sopan? meh aku sebat mulut dia. sopan ape kalo kita mempertikaikan agama orang lain?

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Nora Elena, today was its last episode. i wonder what comes next? cerita isteri taat da sangat lame. tak bleh pakai dah. then aku teringat mase aku blog walking, ramai yang menulis pasal kelab isteri taat ni. link di bawah aku rasa antara yang paling epic:

1) Cik Geli Geli.
2) Harian Metroll
3) Teh Tarik Gelas Besar

aku rasa aku da dapat mane datang nye idea Kelab Taat Isteri ini. jawapn nya. NORA ELENA. mungkin sekiranya taat pada suami, suami akan jadi seperti Seth Tan. beli berlonggok bunga letak dalam bonet. sanggup tak tibai isteri walaupun konek da mencanak nak di sentuh dek bini. mungkin suami juga akan bersabar tidak seperti dulu yang belacan tawar punya pasal, da gantung isteri depan pagar rumah.

ye, aku tau, isteri perlu taat kepada suami. dey, sorang adik perempuan aku da kawen, tok kadi tu cerita banyak kot. aku dengar. aku simpan dan aku sentiasa ingat. tapi seriously, aku orang yang sanggup tolak fatwa ke, undang-undang ke, semata-mata seorang insan bergelar perempuan di layan seelok eloknya. i even wrote a song entitled "Wanitaku" to show my appreciation of the women around me. adik-adik aku, mak aku, dan of course, gf aku.

da kalo laki kaki botol, kaki tibai pompan, takkan kene taat? bodoh namenye tu. kita ade human rights. benda tu lagi penting dari taat kepada suami durjana.

aku teringat kadi tu pernah cakap. kalo laki tak p keje tak balik2, lepas 3 bulan ke 4 bulan, ke sebulan, isteri boleh file terus penceraian tanpa suami perlu hadir ke court. ini adalah tanggungjawab suami adalah untuk memberi nafkah dengan cukup. dey, bini kau gersang main dildo je kat umah, balik la kasi nafkah, baik takyah kahwin, bodoh. kau balik suro bini gosokkan baju je, pundek ape? bini bapak hot, bek dia kawin ngan Gambit Syaifullah je dari kawen ngan kau.

aku sangat yakin, Kelab Isteri Taat Suami ini adalah berpunca dari drama Nora Elena. banyak sangat tengok TV suri rumah sekarang ni? tu la, dlu nak melawa je. orang suro berfikir, kau nak jadi bimbo. kan da kene kutuk dek orang ramai. fantasy bini-bini malaysia adalah menggila. drama lah puncanya. cukup lah. silalah tayangkan cerita yang real. yang benar terjadi. bukan fantasy. our people needs it.

but yeah, bisnes, janji duit masuk dah le. kerajaan pun bukan peduli. mereka suka orang kita jadi bodoh. senang nak menang pilihan raya. ding ding ding!

Idler.

Please, Park Here!

2011-06-16T18:59:00.000+08:00

i was shopping some frozen food in Nilai Tesco when i heard this:

"pemilik kenderaan WTF 666, sila alihkan kenderaan anda dari tempat letak kereta OKU, terima kasih"

"gemuk", that's what i said when i heard it. yep, Malaysian is so fucking lazy mate. i'm not denying the fact that i'm lazy too. sape tanak parking depan pintu masuk kan? back in my college days, my housemate, "Rudy", will always park in front of the nearest stair to class. when it comes to exam day, he chose to park in front of the Main Hall's main entrance. ktorang bawak kancil je, naik ramai-ramai. 6 orang, macam sardin, park macam anak dato'. Malaysian.

parking space is really hard to find in Malaysia. why? because most Malaysian prefer to go anywhere alone with their car. let's say, 10 friends planned to meet up at The Mines. all 10 of them drive their car alone. so 10 car for 10 people. how many parking spaces a shopping mall needs when they have 1 million visitors who drives alone? banyak kan? disebabkan entrance ke shopping mall bukan ade kat semua parking space, ade yang jauh, maka Malaysians yang malas berjalan decided to park je depan pintu entrance tu. selagi boleh sumbat. sumbat je.

ape salahnye jalan kejap pon? mane tak gemok.

gemok? oh yeah!

maybe, we should have a space for fat people. letak dekat ngan main entrance. then letak signboard "parking untuk orang gemuk"... ah panjang sangat.. letak je, "Obes Park Here" besar-besar kat dinding space tu. dah sah-sah tempat parking orang kurang upaya. seboleh-boleh kau nak park kat situ. memang le takde orang kurang upaya datang tesco hari-hari, but in case dorang punya persatuan buat lawatan ke tesco ke, dah, takde tempat parking. sila bawak perut anda ke tempat lain.

i realized that there are some people who didn't give a damn if their car got clamped by the security. maybe we should, too, instead of putting up warning board, we should put up "Don't Park Here, Walk FAT BITCH!".

oh, we should have spaces for our local car Kancil and Kelisa, Viva too perhaps. you see, these cars' owner sometimes took a lot of space. 2 space, park tengah-tengah. kalo parking space the whole lot to kosong takpe gak. sigh. well maybe because they don't know how to park properly because their dad paid the JPJ officer for their license. or maybe because they thought they are driving a jaguar. or maybe they think they own the place. come on! this is Malaysia, we own it kan?

these told me another point of why Malaysian are selfish people. we don't care about others. tak tau ke kadang-kadang parking tepi corner tu boleh menyusahkan orang nak masuk simpang? tapi ape kan daya, Malaysian are fat. semua malas berjalan. kalo jalan sikit pon tak boleh, ini kan pulak nak tampal jalan. hah!

Idler

You Know What's Bullshit #2

2011-06-16T17:17:00.000+08:00

this one just proved that Silat Master Vs Bruce Lee is a fucking hoax.

"aku dengar Tony Jaa da mati kene tembak"
"aku dengar Tony Jaa mati kene lanyak sebab bertarung dengan Silat Baldi"
"Ong Bak 2 ngan Ong Bak 3 tu cite lame"

enough said.

Idler

They Came From Across The Sea

2011-06-16T04:30:00.001+08:00

family aku dok dua rumah, 1 kat Shah Alam, 1 kat Nilai. aku tak suka dok Shah Alam, sesak, panas, biseng. sebab tu aku dok Nilai. family aku balik Nilai hanya pada hari Jumaat dan pulang ke Shah Alam pada hari ahad. jangan cakap Nilai - Shah Alam tu jauh. naik kete 30 menet je. both of the houses subscribing Astro.

dengan Astro yang harga melambung macam anak patung yang mudah di campak ke langit, aku terasa macam nak subscribe unifi je. cancel Astro punya subscription. mahal kot. cite cam bangang. hah! cite cam bangang. aku terus dapat idea nak tulis ape. and aku sangat sangat sangat mengharap, sesape korang yang terbace blog ini dan mengenali student indonesia di negara kita.. sila suruh dia baca ini. its long, sila bertahan!

dlu, mase tidur aku sangat besepah. aku tidur pukul 6 pagi. da azan baru nak tido. bangun pukul 3. kadang-kadang panas cekadak. aku terbangun pukul 12. then aku turun bawah, nak amek air, tengok ape ade bawah tudung saji, bleh bedal terus. adik aku memang, weekedays, dari dia balik sekolah, sampai pukul 5 petang kot, dia conquer tv tu. orang lain takleh tengok. di sebabkan aku ni bukan la jenis suka tengok tv sangat, maka aku takde la biseng. aku makan tengahari, mesti tertengok punya ape yang adik aku tengok. setelah sekian lame aku rase macam nak mengamuk. adik aku bole marathon sinetron indon dari pukul 1.30 sampai pukul 5.30 petang. kepale hotak dia la. cite kalo bes, takpe gak. ini bodoh nak mampos.

sekarang, meh aku citekan, mengapa sinetron indon bodoh gila nak mampos. dan aku rase, artis indon semua bangang macam ni kot. aku takde issue ngan indonesian yang bekerja kat Malaysia. but i'll always have issues with Indonesian Celebrities.

1) cowok nya ganteng
mesti mekap! mekap muke putih gila. sampai boleh nampak liang roma facial hair yang baru lepas di shave. bibir mesti pink! MESTI! PINK! yang jambu confirm hero, yang kurang jambu sket dari yang jambu, di jadikan kawan baik kepada cewek nye. kebanyakkan mereka tidak pandai berlakon.

2) cewek nya yang hot
tak kesah pakai braces ke tak. janji putih. boleh berlakon. tak kire ade bakat ke tak. janji cantik, confirm dapat watak dalam sinetron bodoh. tak ramai yang ade bakat berlakon actually.

meh abang cito apo bangangnye skrip sinetron ini. but before that, lets use names to make it easier to understand. tapi aku rase, time korang bace perenggan ini, korang da rase panjang sangat entry ini. rase cam nak pangkah je tab ni. silakan.

Hero : Rangga
Heroin : Intan
Heroin's Best Friend : Najib
Antagonist : Lisa

1) kisah cinta mereka
Intan dan najib berkawan baik. sudah lama kenal. Najib cinta sama Intan. tapi Intan tanak hilang kawan, dengan kata lain sudah bertemu Rangga, pujaan hati. Rangga pula tengah date dengan Lisa. Bila Intan nak jumpa Rangga, Lisa selalu dengki. tapi cinta Rangga dan Intan tak pernah putus. bila najib tau tentang hal ini, maka najib yang cinta nya terhadap intan yang dikatakan cinta sejati, sanggup melepaskan intan untuk rangga. lisa pula takkan melepas kan rangga. dengan itu, lisa dengan jahatnya plan nak punk'd intan.

2) orang kaya
rangga orang kaya, neneknya pasti akan mewasiatkan harta neneknya itu kepada rangga.nenek sangat berkenan pada intan. tapi intan malu-malu, sebab dia orang miskin. lisa juga orang yang tak terlampau kaya. selalunya watak lisa ini tidak bekerja. lisa punya kejahatan bukan terhadap intan sahaja. lisa mempunyai mak yang sangat hot, lagi hot dari lisa, yang juga jahat. yang gila harta. ingin lisa mengahwini rangga supaya dapat wasiat nenek kaya itu. (kerja tanak, tau nak rembat harta je).

3) yang baik
selalunya, watak intan adalah watak yang sangat putih berseri. di troll sejuta kali pun, tetap takde effect panas hati ke. beliau akan sentiasa berbaik dengan watak lisa. kadang-kadang bagi kek, kadang-kadang keluar makan. walaupun lisa letak pil tidoq dalam air intan pun, tetap intan tak marah dekat lisa. dan watak intan selalunya paling banyak menangis.

4) yang jahat
watak lisa selalu nye jahat nak mati. ade je plan dia. dari letak ubat tidur kat dalam air, sampai la menculik, hinggakan membunuh. ade je plan. dan aku rase mereka pandai. lagipun, kebanyakkan sinetron indon aku tengok, watak jahat lagi hot dari watak baik.

5) yang dungu
ni confirm la rangga. jawapan da ade depan mate pon tak nampak-nampak lagi. sinetron indon memang mahu menunjukkan, lelaki ini mental nye lagi lembik dari wanita. lelaki juga adalah lagi bebal dan bodoh dari wanita. dengan ini aku ingin menyatakan kepada wanita di luar sane yang benda ini adalah real. lelaki muke jambu selalunye bimbo. cuci jamban pon tak reti, ini kan pulak bakar ayam mase barbeque party. sambung. watak rangga antara watak lelaki yang paling banyak menangis. tah pape, memula kemain macho, pastu menangis sebab kena game dengan pompan.

6) yang buatkan sinetron ni ade 4,543,323 episod
disebabkan rangga yang bimbo. enough said.

7) some other benda bangang dalam sinetron indon.
lisa letak ubat tidoq dalam air intan. intan pengsan, lisa angkut bawak p hotel. kemudian, lisa p cari rangga, tibai rangga dari belakang, rangga pengsan, di angkutnya rangga bawak p hotel yang same terletaknya intan itu. lisa menanggalkan semua pakaian mangsa kejahatan lisa, dan ditangkapnya gambar-gambar mereka tak berbaju tidur sekatil. lisa dan emaknya mengedarkan gambar-gambar itu kepada orang tertentu. especially nenek rangga. dengan ini, nenek rangga jadi tidak berkenan dengan intan. dan nenek mengamuk. semua watak yang melihat gambar-gambar ini, sorang pun tak tanya "siapa yang mengambil foto-foto ini?". bodoh bukan?

ko bayangkan, dari pukul 1.30 - 5.30. ntah berape banyak sinteron yang ade. semua cite same je setup dia. ko tak rase bangang ke?
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aku rase, cerita-cerita begini tak patut di tonton untuk budak-budak sekolah malaysia. sebab budak-budak paling senang terpengaruh dengan media. jadi, mereka akan ikut. aku rase aku pernah tampar adik aku sebab cakap loghat indon ngan aku. hahaha. padan muke! buang mase. aku nak tengok discovery channel pun susah.

mungkin, bulan depan, aku nak suro mak aku unsubscribe je astro. amek unifi, ade tv, lagi murah. takde channel indon. hah! epic. kalo ade iklan pon, takde la aku nampak iklan sinetron indon bertajuk "kucing bersatu but". bodoh punya title. plus, unifi lagi murah dari astro.

aku tak kata sinetron ni takde moral values. cuma moral values dorang bodoh nak mampos. tak berbaloi nak tengok 3 juta episod. kadang-kadang moral values dia ade dalam 4-5 episod dari 5,423,321 episod tu.

sampai bila lagi nak kasi dorang ruang mase kat tv kita? kalo kita tak tengok, takde la tv tunjuk. aku pon tau, korang bukan suke sangat artis indon datang bertapak kat negara ni.kan?

Idler

Culture Kills #3

2011-06-15T23:50:00.000+08:00

"biar mati anak, jangan mati adat" - part 2

aku baru teringat ape point aku nak tulis kat Culture Kills #1.

this one mengaitkan kes bayi tong sampah dan jamban, di mana mereka ini di buang dek mak dorang (selalunye mak le yang buang, sebab yang menggelupur lepas bersalin tu dah sah-sah mak). fenomena sungguh. mengapa? mengapa mereka sanggup membuang anak-anak mereka di dalam jamban dan tong sampah. at least tinggal la dalam kotak, letak depan pintu umah orang.

i thought about it , then came one of TV3 360 episode "Dilemma ibu si anak luar nikah" some time ago. then i saw a friend's facebook status, "biar mati anak, jangan mati adat".

so, 360 ni mengisahkan kisah-kisah anak yang mengandung anak luar nikah yang di hantar ke pusat-pusat penjagaan anak mengandung anak luar nikah ini. hah, bapak panjang bahase melayu ni. orang putih cakap premarital pregnancy. 2 perkataan je. kebanyakkan 'student' kat sini adalah, of course la, MELAYU. ISLAM. so TV3 interviewed some of the pregnant women there. most of them came from rural areas, kampung la tu, ngok. antara benda yang budak-budak perempuan ni cakap adalah:

1) "mak tak sanggup nak bela saya mengandung. sebab tu hantar saya kat sini"
aku macam bersyukur la budak-budak perempuan ni ade shelter. ade kes yang idop merempat lepas kene halau ngan mak bapak. yang tak pernah p cek kat hospital even da 6 bulan mengandung. tak tau kandungan hidup ke tak. tapi.. fuck. mak bapak tak sanggup bela? what the fuck is that? betul punya jaga adat, sial. sebab tanak makcik-makcik berjoyah yang anak pak haji ketua kampung yang totoi anak dara dia, hantar terus anak p pusat. tanak kene joyah, halau terus anak idop merempat. mane nilai murni seorang Muslim sampai sanggup halau anak dari rumah? kenapa halau? kenape hantar? MALU. yes. malu orang mengata. sebab adat kita kata, tak boleh mengandung sebelom kawen. harrromm.

2) "saya tak tau pun kalau boleh mengandung kalau buat macam tu?"
FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU... this is one of the reason why sex education is very important in the rural areas. kalo kote masuk pantat, pancut dalam takleh mengandung. ceom molot boleh mengandung. ahh.. bodoh nye manusia. bila cakap pasal sex education, mak bapak cakap, tak boleh. tanak sex education kat sekolah. tak proper la bagai. anak ko patut tau. dok umah tengok drama melayu je, memang la tak pandai. terima kasih porn kerana mengajar aku apa itu sex.

3) "kalau boleh, saya nak jaga kandungan saya ni. tapi mak pernah cakap dulu. kalo da bersalin, nak bagi anak saya kat sedara saya. dia tak sanggup nak jaga".
this one really made me furious about my own kin. and that's the Malays yang mengaku dia Islam. tak sanggup? what the fuck weh? tu cucu kau bebeh. ko pusing macam mane pun. dia anak kepada anak kau. cucu kau. kat tv pulak sumpah banyak drama Melayu bebal yang kes macam ni. anak mengandung luar nikah, tak sanggup terima anak, bersalin. nak buang cucu. tak sanggup terima cucu. sebab nak jaga adat, orang melayu sekarang tak fikir pasal nilai murni. dah takde common sense. dia tetap cucu kau, tolol. but i'm glad that that girl still want to accept her child. now, that's what i call, a good mom-to-be.

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ade orang argued yang pusat-pusat ni lagi menggalakkan premarital pregnancy. senang je. kongkek, mengandung. hantar pusat. kongkek lagi.

"kanda, dinda mengandung anak kanda 3 bulan. tapi dinda tak risau. sekarang sudah ade pusat untuk hantar anak-anak ni. dinda hanya perlu menyorok dari ibubapa dinda selama 9 bulan. lepas 9 bulan, kita boleh buat anak lagi. yay!"

well i say people should have the courage the buy condoms kat 7e. aku setuju dengan penulis Hellioz.blogspot.com. beli kondom kat 7e malu. takut cashier 7e tak bagi beli. tapi kongkek tak takut pulak ngan tuhan. hahaha.

you see.. everybody has their own mistakes. semua orang pernah buat silap. terpancut kat muka. terpancut kat baju, terpancut kat dalam, you name it. and people learn best bukan dekat buku (sex education kat sekolah tetap penting). people learn best with experience. experience is the best teacher. da ade pengalaman tersilap pancut kat dalam, esok mungkin tak buat lagi. hence, mengajar lelaki family planning. hahahaah. menerima adalah lebih baik dari menghalau. sama gak macam menerima that if there are no indians in the country, jalan raya akan berlobang sebab takde sape nak keje tampal jalan. indian je yang sanggup. indon buat bangunan, okay? menerima adalah lebih baik dari menghalau. terima lah, benda yang benar. anak pak aji ketua kampung yang kau berkenan tu yang totoi anak kau.

jangan sebok jaga adat sampai hilang kemanusiaan.

Idler

Lemak

2011-06-15T22:51:00.001+08:00

i don't read news or watch tv daily.. well, tv, i just switched it on and focus on the laptop instead. i just need the atmosphere that there's someone else in the house, watching tv. and i just don't want the atmosphere turned creepy. i spent most of my days and nights alone.

i know its kind of really late for me to get to know it. but seriously.. nasi lemak.. haram kat sekolah? haram? kat sekolah? kenape? ohh.. sebab nak prevent budak-budak sekolah jadi obes. whhoaa.. wait.. nasi lemak can cause obesity? why didn't i gain some weight by consuming tons of nasi lemak during my school and college days? sebab ade 'lemak' kat belakang je, terus jadi punca sebenar obesiti. wtf malaysians?

aku sangat bersyukur kerana mak bapak aku bukan jenis macam mak bapak sekarang. kecik punya hal kat sekolah dah nak saman. my dad will NOT argue with teachers at school. sebab kalo ade hal pape je kat sekolah, aku balik umah, confirm kene tibai.

parents nowadays are so fucked up dan sangat takde common sense. anak gemuk, nasi lemak disalahkan nye. mane rasional nye di situ wahai ibubapa yang dikasihi sekalian? parents blamed nasi lemak for causing obesity. then the fucked up education ministry yang ikot je ape mak bapak mintak tu banned nasi lemak dari di jual di sekolah. abes budak kat sekolah nak makan ape? nasi ayam? laksa? gile tak seronok doh.

this goes out to the education and health ministry yang sangat fucked up.

why ban nasi lemak? why didn't you take the action against the stalls in front of the school who sells junk food and other unhealthy food? you have the authority to do the right thing, but you don't. typical Malaysian politician.

and this goes out to the parents.

anak ko makan ape kat rumah ko ade tau? ko tak bagi anak ko keluar rumah. dorang dok rumah, makan aje la. cuba kasi anak korang main-main kat taman ke, main bola ke, jogging ke. takde la gemok. anak mintak broadband ngan laptop, ko bagi je. anak ko dok umah hari-hari depan laptop, tak bersosial, tak bergerak. dah sah sah la gemok.

"ah, kau hari-hari depan laptop, tak bergerak nak banyak cite plak wahai si penulis"

"banyak mane aku makan, betape malasnye aku, 24 tahun da idop, kurus kering macam ni gak. ko jeles?"

banning nasi lemak is not the right thing to do. tapi orang malaysia kan bengap. ade lemak je, gemok. ade lemak je gemok. parents these days adalah sangat mengarut. takde otak. tanak berfikir. tau cari duit je. salah sendiri tidak memantau anak-anak, sekolah ngan nasi lemak di salahkan nye.

aku ade ex-roommate mase kat kolej dlu. beliau pernah berkata beliau ada sakit jantung, jantung dia kecil dan mungkin akan fail 1 hari nanti kerana tak dapat menampung badan nya yang besar. aku masih ingat ape yang dia cakap satu ketika dlu:

"aku takleh makan nasi. sebab banyak kolestrol. jantung aku kan tak kuat."

ko tau ape dia makan bila duit PT masuk? dr batang berjuntai tu, gerak p seksyen 13 shah alam, setiap malam semata nak makan burger king. kalo dia malas p jauh, dia sental kfc je. bila dia takde duit, dia makan meggi. kalo beli bungkus, nak koey tiaw goreng tanak sayur. tanak sayur. dan seorang ex-housemate aku time tu gak, kat umah yang same. pernah cakap:

"kalo da hari-hari macam tu. esok pon bole gol dah"

mak dia ade tau dia makan ape hari-hari? aku tak rase mak dia tau. obesity is not genetic. sebab semua orang boleh kurus. shaney yang super gabak tu pun boleh kurus. sebab dia jaga makan. mungkin dia lari atas treadmill. adik aku pon bulat dlu mase kecik. skang macho da. kurus. sebab dia consume makanan yang betul. jarang makan junk food. but bila ade nasi lemak.. confirm ktorang melantak macam gila. tapi tak gemuk gak. jadi, di sini, nasi lemak bukan punca nya.

but yes, malaysians love to blame others without looking at the fact. the fact is, kids these days are large because of the parents themselves. sumbat je. anak nak makan ape. bagi je. nasi lemak jangan. sebab ade perkataan lemak tu kat belakang. ayam kfc yang lemak melekat kat kulit tu, boleh di makan. tadahal.

salahkan nasi lemak adalah bodoh. bodoh. bodoh. dan bodoh wahai ibubapa sekalian. bodoh.

p/s: ye, takde isi pon kat sini.

Idler

Jahanam #1

2011-06-14T20:40:00.000+08:00

dunia dalam~ genggaman ku~

dunia dalammm~~ genggaman ku~

dunia dalam genggaman ku~

dunia dalam~ genggaman kita~

dunia dalammm~~ genggaman kita~

dunia dalam genggaman kita~

babai, aku nak bunuh diri.

Idler

Welcome to Malaysia #3

2011-06-14T11:32:00.000+08:00

call me cheap, stingy, i don't care. you can call me poor if you want after you see what kind of mobile phone i'm using. i don't care. i'd rather buy an Epiphone ej200 than an iPad2. and no, i won't say to any one of you guys/ladies that you've just wasted your cash buying an iPhone 34.

aku pergi berpoya-poya dengan gf ku kat the mines semalam. then mase balik ternampak la ade uptown kat area situ. then ktorg pon p la singgah jap. sebab last time berjimbet kat uptown was 3 years ago. pusing-pusing, tengok barang, tengok harga barang. aku gelak. sebab aku rase mengarut gila sampai macam tu harga nya.

but here, i'm not gonna write about the prices at uptown je but the whole Malaysia. kedai mamak, sopping kompleks, you name it. so here are some of the stuffs yang mcm agak tahpape harganya di pasaran...

Kedai Mamak.
semua orang tau kedai mamak memang cekik darah these days. babi ape nasi putih + ayam goreng + kobes = RM8? + teh o ais jadi RM9.50. sumpah boleh hidup selame-lamenye kalo makan nasi kat kedai mamak sekarang ni. teringat aku kedai indon kat Batang Berjuntai, area pasar malam. nasi putih + ayam goreng + begedil/kobes = RM3.50. + teh o ais = RM4.50. boleh beli dua bungkus. lagi kenyang, lagi buncit, lagi la rase cam nak parking kat tempat parking orang kurang upaya. oh yeah!

Selipar.
to tell the truth, selipar croc... bergaya ke? pakai baju hijau, seluar merah, selipar pink? bergaya ke? dengan design berbonjol di hadapan macam kasut Ronald McDonald, banyak choices of color dan harga yang melambung. nak beli original je.

"ko tengok croc aku. original. lagi power dari ko punya croc 10 hengget uptown"
"ha'ah, beli harga RM400 letak kat kaki je. pijak-pijak hari-hari"

aku tak kesah orang beli croc uptown yang 10 hengget tu. sebab aku pon takkan beli bendar harga 3 juta semata nak letak kat kaki. but still.. croc.. sumpah hodoh.

Boxer
gelak la. seriously. boxer? 8 hengget? mengarut~ bukannya ko dapat tayang pon kat semua orang. yang menengok nye housemate or adik beradik, mak atau bapak korang di rumah. awek dapat la tengok pabila hari "Melayu Mencurahkan Kasih Sayang di Hotel Murah" (Valentines Day).

"aku pakai boxer Hush Puppies aku beli semalam, 40 hengget sehelai. cantik doh"
"mane mane mane? aku nak tengok"

4 juta ke boxer ko, berpeluh, masam gak bau nya. awek, mereka tak suka telur masam. uhh.. sape suka? hahahaha. aku.. aku tak pakai boxer atau spenda. aku terus sarung je seluar jeans atau seluar berbunga aku kalo nak keluar. p solat Jumaat pon pakai kain tak pakai pape di dalam. "mesra alam". i need to breathe down there too.

Toilet
ape kes nak pau aku 20sen masuk toilet? name public toilet, ko nak pau aku plak. 20sen aku bayar, jamban berkeladak gak. ko tau tak 20sen tu boleh beli keropok mimi yang boleh buat aku parking kat tempat orang kurang upaya?

toilet 2 hengget kat KLCC (tak tau la ade lagi ke tak. last time p was 5 years ago). aku masuk toilet 2 hengget sebab nak guling-guling kat lantai nye. enough said.

kebersihan... let's leave that for another time.

Astro
kalo kita bayar sejuta sebulan pon belom tentu takde iklan lagi. aku bayar nak tengok rancangan bebeh, bukan nak tengok iklan. it's a paid television network. tapi ape kan daye, orang Melayu (melayu, sebab ini kan negara kita, sah-sah la kita majoriti, bodoh) kan manjang ikot je. selagi takde demo, selagi tu tak tau ape haram jadah yang telah disalah gunakan.

Barang Dapur.
aku tak nak cakap ape. mak aku yang selalu beli barang dapur pon. haha.

-------------------------------------------------------------

ye, cakap la aku kedekut, aku peduli ape. to me, there's a lot of other things yang patut mahal. contoh nya, plastik. 10 hengget sehelai, setiap hari. takyah takut takde customer kat tesco ke giant ke, sebab orang akan tetap datang nak beli barang. kurang sket penggunaan plastik kat negara ni. jangan buat aku cakap sal makcik-makcik yang membeli-belah kat Nilai 3. ni lagi super banyak plastik dorang consume (ye, dorang makan plastik tu on the way balik umah).

mungkin, kalo arwah bapak aku ade, aku takkan bebel pasal harga barang. sebab mase dia ade, ktorang hidup senang. kepale dia ade je care nak "Ka-Ching!". even mase da hujung-hujung tu pon ade je idea dia.

and thanks to pakcik aku yang still jual shisha 10 hengget sebalang normal, dan hanya 13 hengget dapur buah. cheapest kat Shah Alam. setahu aku la. sebab aku bukan pernah p shisha lain pon. nanti aku rase membelot pakcik sendiri. aku takkan p shisha lain unless kedai pakcik aku tutup. Shisha Bar, kat re_done seksyen 7, sebelah barra. kedai mamak yang tak sedap, makan tercirit. nasib baik harga tak berape nak meletop.

tentang attire. kamon! Gaya itu penting untuk most Malaysian. sape nak keluar rumah kalo takde topi Bruno Mars kan?

an English woman once told me that, toiletries are cheaper in London than here in Malaysia, tanah tumpah nye duit rasuah menggila.

Idler

The Ending is The New Beginning

2011-06-11T12:29:00.000+08:00

i've watched tons of movies and these days i'm getting bored of Hollywood stuffs. same ol' themes, the same ol' stories. antagonist kills protagonist's dad, protagonist out for vengeance. LAME! what so fucked up about nowadays Hollywood movies is the ending.

take Iron Man 2 for example. new suits, a sidekick, and a huge evil robot. terbang dari jauh, jumpa 2 lelaki besi, libas 2-3-4 kali, kene tembak. mati. perhh.. gagal la sial! before Iron Man was Clash of The Titans. the real fight of Perseus's adventure was against Medusa. i was wondering how would he fight a super huge Kracken. i thought he would put up a fight, but i get a man standing in front of the Kracken's face and flash it with the Medusa's head. and the Kracken turned to stone and walla, the Kracken is dead. EPIC failure!

ok, let's talk about hero back for vengeance. ini lagi bangang. the hero hates the antagonist so bad, he wanted to kill him/her. bound for adventure, was shot on the shoulder, running from a flesh-eating sotong, climbed a 4000 kilometres mountain just to give 1 shot to the head of the antagonist. and then habis. bapak lame la sial. you went through all those shit just for 1 shot?

i think the hero should cut the antagonist's penis and let him live. baru puas do. hidup takde kote. or potong tangan ngan kaki and let him live. perhh.. terseksa!

then to think about it again. if the hero kills the antagonist, that just made him the same person the antagonist is. kan? hero turned murderer. in some movies, the method of the killing is the same. shot to the head, stabbing the chest. same. hero should develop a new kind of killing the antagonist. or choose not to kill but torturing and let the antagonist lives. that would be epic dan sangat puas hati.

the chain won't stop. i thought about it. hero's dad was killed by the antagonist, hero kills the antagonist. there is a possibility the antagonist's beloved cousin out for vengeance to kill the hero. then the cousin succeeded on killing the hero, then the hero's nephew out for vengeance. this is what makes it lame. but i think it's for the best, in case the director and producers want to make a sequel of a certain movie which will always turns out bad. very. bad.

these are the reason why i won't go out to the cinema. its gonna disappoint me. to me, Malaysian comedy movie is much more worth it. don't make start about Malaysian love story. it is so fucking LAME! hahahahahahaa.. balik-balik berebut perempuan. even "Action" movie pon berebut perempuan. pejadah?

Idler

Gangster, Melayu, dan Intellectual

2011-06-10T21:33:00.000+08:00

PEKIDA nak saman filem KL gangster ngan Kongsi. (klik for full news)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHA!!!!!

aku da agak dah. kompem isu punya. aku masih tersengih. mungkin akan tersengih hingga hujung entry ini. hahaha.

the first time i heard about this PEKIDA thingy was in the 1st semester in college. it was 2005. a friend of mine is so obsessed with the organization. he told me that the ayahanda loves him the most. he took me to that ayahanda's house so i could get to know the people and join them.

"ni registration fee 150. nanti bulan2, hulur la sikit"

"bapak aku kat umah sakit tak pernah aku bagi duit. ni nak kasi duit kat bapak orang? tak payah"

a lot of cases involving the PEKIDA people in my college. it was one hell of a hot stuff to talk about. you see, most of the members are Malays. they said the organization exists because they wanted to help the Malays. and i think you know what happened. yes. a fight broke out. Malays against another Malay. ape yang tolong melayu nye korang ni?

back to the topic. SAMAN! oh yeah! saman je la apeadehal~ the point of these PEKIDA people want to saman the directors is because of the exposure. kata-kata kunci? bukak buah? abang kawasan? WTF people? it started on 2005 pun. apehal bila da jadi filem baru nak jadi isu? then they said about the exposure might cause more problem later on. ape? it wasn't a problem when your members are recruiting armies at school and college?

it is your organization. you MUST take care of your members. you MUST know what is going on. you MUST get yourself updated on the current issues among your members. you MUST know that something has to be done.

to think about it again. what is PEKIDA?

PErtubuhan KebajIkan dan DAkwah islamiah.

whoa, something is terribly wrong here.

ape kene mengena PEKIDA ngan gangsterism? bukan PEKIDA ni buat kebajikan dan dakwah islamiah ke? lagi sekali, ape kene mengena ngan gangsterism? oh shit?! terasa? apehal nak terasa kalo PEKIDA ni bukan gangsterism kan? kalo PEKIDA diam, kompem dorang tak tau pasal ape kata kunci rahsia itu kan? dah mengaku gangster pulak PEKIDA ni. rupanya korang la kepale gangster kan? ha.

"korang da gunakan kata-kata kunci rahsia kami!"

"ha?! ade ke? ape kata-kata kunci tu? curious gila. ni kalo bagitau mak saye ni. kompem dia nak tau gak"

it was there a long time ago. why now? you just made gossip loving Malaysians become more curious than ever. everybody wants to a know a secret kan? but terima kasih. dengan berita ini, maka anda telah meng-clarify kan yang:

1) selagi tak masuk TV, selagi tu kita tak amek peduli

2) korang ni simpan banyak rahsia. Freemason ni!

3) orang da anggap korang gangster organization.

Kebajikan dan Dakwah Islamiah? i'm glad i'm not one of you.

this is what we don't see in real life. it exist among us. we should not live in denial. people have eyes to see things. all of us have the right to see anything we wanted to see. let people open up their eyes. tolol~

Idler

Culture Kills #2

2011-06-09T23:11:00.000+08:00

Kahwin!

you see, Malay, i repeat, Malays culture, most Malays love to talk about people around them. it is so addictive. tak buat sehari rase berdosa ngan kawan-kawan. even berita kat tv, newspaper pon penuh ngan gosip artis je. and when it comes to marriage, sumpah, banyak gila benda orang nak cakap. hantaran rendah, warna tak menarik, makanan tak sedap, orang ramai tak datang. i live in a family who will always try to prevent the possibility of the makcik-makcik untuk berjoyah. trust me, i've been through a lot of shit during my relatives' marriages.

as for now, i'm gonna talk about the must have thing before marriage. no. not love. mommy don't care about that. mommy wants.... MONEY!~

"makcik nak tanye sikit ni, ahmad ni kerja ape?"

"saya kerja main muzik je cik"

"uish. artis. banyak ke duit dapat 1 show?"

"banyak la jugak. 50 ringgit 1 show. 1 show seminggu"

"oooohhhh... cukup ke nak beli mekap anak makcik?"

what parent's nowadays would ask from the groom:

1) hantaran 15 ribu ke atas

2) duit belanja kenduri at least 15 ribu

3) nak tema Arab / Jepun kalo boleh. ape barang tema Melayu. ketinggalan zaman bebeh.

4) kenduri kat hotel 5 bintang

5) 3 course meal, appetizer, main dish, dessert

6) mak nak kete sibijik ngan rumah kat country heights

some part of me would like to blame the media, Nona especially, for showing how those rich people get married. they just made the makcik who lives in a kampung, who have a daughter with no basic english and math thought about having a grand wedding for her child. alasan nye "yang terbaik untuk anak dara ku".

and some part of me directly blame my own culture. The Malays. Malays yang cakap dorang ni orang Islam. yang dalam kitab yang mereka baca itu takde pon cite sal anak kene kawen grand. i heard about it in a khutbah Jumaat. that all the sins that the bride had done will be transferred to the husband once the akad nikah is done.

"WOW! we paid 100,000 ringgit for a woman's sins! BRILLIANT!"

why do moms and dads asked for a large sum of money? are they selling their daughters? lelong lelong? no? so why?

"bukan ape, makcik letak tinggi-tinggi ni, nak tau anak muda ni sanggup tak. betol ke nak jaga anak makcik ni. penat makcik bela dia dari kecik. bukan bole sembarangan lepas je"

babi la ko makcik. 100,000 ringgit tu bole guarantee your daughter's future ke? dah kalo laki tu pinjam duit sane sini, da berhutang da dia. kalo dia bagi hantaran 5000 je, and use the other 95,0000 tu buy a house kan lagi bagus. kalo dia menumpang umah ko, tak ko cakap dia laki durjana tak reti nak beli rumah sendiri pulak. bodoh la awak ni makcik. bodoh gila alasan.

"tak elok lah, makcik kan ade anak dara, kang orang cakap ape pulak makcik letak hantaran rendah"

well, that's just describe us didn't it? tanak orang mengata, kena jaga hati orang. for god sake. it's your daughter who's getting married, not them. not you. then bila tak buat kenduri. mula la orang cakap macam-macam. mak bapak tak suke la pulak. this culture kills. Malay Culture KILLS!

i'm just glad that my girlfriend's parents are not these retarded Malay people. and i'm thankful for that. the dad is okay with my choice of career, and that is music. i'm really thankful for that. but i still think it's hard for me to get married. because... i live in a family who give a damn about other people's thought.

ko nak kawen ke, ko nak kasi orang makan. think about it.

Idler

You Know What's Bullshit? #1

2011-06-08T18:56:00.000+08:00

Bruce Lee died by the hand of a Silat Master!

i was only 10 when the first time a friend who went for a silat class told me about it. and i never really believe it. even till today, i laughed at it. think again, most melayu, muda-muda, mase sekolah, belajar silat sebab ape? nak bergaduh le. those kids even brag about it in class. kunci sane, kunci sini.. kalo aku tendang, terbaring atas lantai, kasi figure 4 leg lock menangis gak.

and no, i'm not denying the fact that Silat Melayu do have their own strength. 1 thing i'm against is that the exaggeration of the Malays telling stories about how good they were. yeah, that's what we do. how good we WERE.

"kenape kita dulu power gila, tapi sekarang cam sampah?"

we WERE good. and that's that. tak pernah terfikir ke that maybe that some of the stories were made up by some people just so that other people think that we were good, and we can be good again?

Dato' Meor Abdul Rahman Vs Bruce Lee

The Story (Click Here)

apparently there are two versions of this story. to me, when there are two versions, it's fake. easy.

okay, the first version, as mentioned, Daniel Inosanto, memasukkan silat into the Jeet Kune Do lesson. crap number 1, here! no. Jeet Kune Do did not add another element to their lesson. But the Inosanto Academy, the Daniel Inosanto's Martial Art punya skolah yang include silat in one of their lesson. 1973, Dato Meor berenti tukar flight kat Hong Kong? ape ni? aku terasa bangang. ape lepas British lepaskan Malaysia, terus takde direct flight to London? lame ass~ tendangan laju Bruce Lee. sekiranya anda tidak tahu, Bruce Lee bukan tau pakai kaki dia yang nampak cam panjang je. He's a student of Wing Chun. a student of the hardcore opium smoker, Yip Man. Wing Chun martial artists are good with their hands. super laju bebeh. macam dalam movie Ip Man. tendangan laju is so ketinggalan zaman.

second version. 6th paragraph, Dato Meor suro Syed Ahmad panggil Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee datang sebab dengar yang Dato Meor tu Mahaguru Silat. then tiba-tiba cite sal Bruce Lee mendesak nak bertempur dengan Silat Master itu. what the hell? why did you call him in the first place? mintak autograph?

both of the versions end up with the Silat Master gave 1 punch that they said, the cause of Bruce Lee's death. the punch landed on Bruce Lee's ribs. ding ding ding! Bruce Lee's death was caused of a swollen brain. dengan kate lain. otak bengkak. ketuk rusuk, otak bengkak? macam tu? gay do.

no. aku tak cakap Dato Meor buat-buat cerita. aku cakap. anak murid dia yang bawah-bawah tu yang buat cerita. sebab silat gayung, no. SILAT kat Malaysia ni, da semakin merudum. tapi dengan adanya cerita-cerita begini, maka budak-budak Melayu yang paling senang ditipu sebab tak reti nak membaca buku, mudah pegi belajar silat. oh, belajar silat kene bayar ye. side income to tok guru mereka.

okay, i've packed up to run from Silat students who might come and land me a punch~

Idler

Something Which is Not Stupid Anymore

2011-06-08T12:52:00.001+08:00

i'm not a fan of the United States of America. 50 Americans' brain equals 1 brain of mine. they ran out of ideas for a movie. oh, don't let me start about music.. THEY SUCK!

you see, Japan owns Korean since 1910. upon the Japanese withdrawal from the Second World War in 1945, the Korean Peninsular was divided into two half, North and South (Link). The North are controlled by the Russia and the Americans owns the South. now you know how did North Korea became a socialist / communist / dictatorship country. they got it from the Russian. walla, now you know the history of your beloved Koreans~

i've watched it in discovery channels and history channels. my first impression on Korean War was "STUPID!". why the fuck did the war happened? The North and South Korea were divided on the 38th parallel north of the earth's equatorial plane (garis lintang khatulistiwa). the war started on the border. pushed further south and back north, and by the end of the war, the border did not moved. it is still the same as before, on the 38th parallel still.. bodoh bodoh bodoh bodoh gila. serupa takyah perang, ingatkan korang power gila wahai Americans.

a few days afterwards, i stumbled upon an article and a tv showcase on North Korea. they said North Koreans still run concentration camps. ko tak tau ke concentration camps tu ape bebeh? retard betol. sila baca sejarah nazi. fine, let me tell you something about concentration camps. concentration camps tu tempat dictator kumpul prisoner. during the world war 2, concentration camps were the place where the Nazi's gassed, burn the jewish, or just let them rot to death. in North Korea, prisoners are slave, they worked, produce a lot of things. from what i remembered, they produced bras for the Russians. senang nak ingat, bra ke Russia. oh yeah!~ some other things that have been exported throughout the world. paling bes. North Korean dictator akan hukum seorang prisoner selama 3 generasi. so, kalo atok kene tangkap, maka anak dan cucu dia pon kena. tak kira la kalo dorang ade buat salah ke tak.

talked to a friend and a question came to me mind:

"what if the Americans didn't help the South Korean during the Korean War?"

yes, the North Korea would take over the whole peninsular and run their dictatorship. then ape yang kita takkan dapat if those Americans tak tolong?

1) tiadalah Rain (is he Korean? ah, fuck off, who cares?)

2) tiadalah Winter Sonata dan segala series lembab yang lain

3) tiadalah jejaka tiada bakat menyanyi menari-nari di kaca TV

4) no Wonder Girls!!

5) kawan aku takkan jadi English Tutor untuk South Koreans students.

6) tiadalah Erul AF9 yang batak K-Pop

ok, serious!!

1) Korea Peninsular would be infested by concentration camps

2) lagi ramai pelarian lari dari North Korea, infested kat negara-negara lain pula

3) lagi banyak orang mati kena seksa dalam penjara

4) lagi ramai orang mati kebuluran

So if Korea Peninsular is controleed by the Socialist North Korean, we wouldn't even get the chance to see Koreans linger around in our country. sebab mereka tak bagi orang mereka keluar dari negara dengan mudah. kalo ade pon, yang lari.

see, the numbers of refugees yang lari dari North Korea meningkat setiap tahun.(Link) da 20 tahun kekurangan makanan. kekurangan makanan ini berlaku kerana Russian communism sudah tumpas. maka takde supplement untuk North Korea lagi. North Korea is the most isolated country in the world.

jadi, is it stupid for the Americans to fight the Korean War? No. its not stupid. at least the Americans prevented the Korea Peninsular from becoming a massacre field.

don't judge me. AMERICAN MUSIC SUCKS!

sekiranya anda suka drama Korea, rase macam nak jilat je tv tu mase menonton, maka, hargai lah The United States of America. tanpa mereka, tiadalah Rain.

Idler

Rumah Yang Terbakar

2011-06-04T11:22:00.000+08:00

sorang pon tak pernah tanye. jadi aku nak tanye.. kepada orang yang benci yahudi..

"ko da berjaya bunuh semua yahudi kat muka bumi ni, dan hanya tinggal seorang saje lagi. 1 malam, rumah ko terbakar, api besar gila, mak ko ade kat dalam umah tu. then ko nampak seorang yahudi tengah kendong mak keluar dr rumah yang terbakar tu. satu-satunye yahudi yang terselamat tu da selamatkan mak ko... ko nak bunuh dia jugak ke?"

Idler

Welcome to Malaysia #2

2011-06-04T11:16:00.000+08:00

I Follow!

yep. this is another bash on Malaysians' head. this is my favorite topic to argue about.

as i told you before, Malaysians are full of hype. ikot trend je manjang. ape orang ckp, ikot je. orang cakap pakcik tua sodomi anak buah dia tu kene fitnah, semua ikot je. orang cakap pakcik tua tu kuku besi, semua ikot je. ape lagi ek? oh, mawi suara sedap! IKOT!

aku tertanye-tanye.. ape jadi kat "Free Palestinians" movement? 1 benda bangang aku pernah dengar mase "bebaskan bumi palestin" ni ke udara Malaysia. "Boycott"! antara yang orang-orang Melayu ni suro boycott adalah:

1) McDonald
2) Tesco
3) KFC
4) Shell

"taknak la aku makan McD, aku tengok orang makan, rase macam dorang makan daging anak-anak Palestin weh"

mungkin ade 1 benda Malaysians tak tau. ade 1 McDonald's dekat-dekat Masjid Al Haram (Kaabah la tu). tak caye? ape yang aku cuba sampaikan kat sini. orang Arab yang disanjungi itu pun tak boikot McD. kite je lebey. dorang pon tak peduli ape jadi kat Palestinians tu. and all this boikott McD stopped mase ade orang ckp:

"what the fuck weh?! aku nampak pak arab makan kat McD, steady je!"
"tu la ko, bodoh, orang ckp, ikot je. bangang"

then tesco. ni bodoh gak. ko kutok2 pon, beli barang kat tesco gak. sebab ape? tesco lagi epic dr giant dan mydin. sebab ape? sebab barang byk. murah pun murah. alasan kenape boikot tesco adalah kerana, dorang ckp owner tesco ni yahudi. ko klik link tesco kat atas tu. ko tengok sape owner tesco tu.

"tapi, orang yahudi kan pandai sorok dorang punya rahsia, freemason la, hape la"
"itu isu ko le. aku mmg takde isu ngan orang yahudi. perang kat Jerusalem tu da beratus-ratus tahun dah. sekarang pulak jadi isu. media je semua tu"

KFC! ini pon bangang gak. semua org pon takut-takut nak makan KFC sebab takut ni pon company Ameriak. KFC kat Malaysia di punyai KFC holding, semua income tak keluar, dapat KFC Holding je, owner nye orang Islam. dorang sebok takut makan daging anak Palestin, 1 je dorang tak fikir. beribu-ribu ekor ayam 1 hari, cemane dorang sembelih. sekor-sekor? think~

then kat facebook. aku tak tau la kenape, tp page-page yang ckp boikot dan bebaskan bumi Palestin. aku respect page yang post something each day. tp page yang last post 3-4 bulan lepas tu, serupa takde je. but overall, aku rase, page-page bebaskan bumi palestin ni takyah ade pon takpe. ko kumpul 5 juta likes skali pun, ko bole buat ape? post kat facebook je. itu je ko bole buat. suro p perang tanak gak.

ko bukak paper semalam ngan kelmarin. ade berita pasal Palestin lagi? takde bukan? kalo ade pon, tak sampai 250 patah perkataan nye article. lepas tu, sorang pon tak ckp pape pasal benda ni dah. sebab ape? sebab kat TV pon da tak tunjuk dah. orang buat, kita ikot. lepas tu senyap.

p/s: there is no such thing as war in the name of God anymore. its utter bullshit.

Idler

Welcome to Malaysia #1

2011-06-04T10:36:00.000+08:00

Hype!

i must admit that i too, is one of the people in the group. you see, a few months ago, a shisha friend of mine, who happened to be a celebrity, told me that Malaysians are full of hype. kita ikot trend too much and cepat tukar trend itu dengan trend baru bila benda baru datang. sekejap je benda2 baru ni. yeah, i agreed to what he told me. contoh paling senang:

2002, hiphop tengah menggila, though aku tak deny ade punk and skinhead, but mase aku kat skolah dlu. boleh kate majority nak hiphop. semua orang nak breakdance mase rehat. tau buat handstand je.

2003 bdk2 skolah da start main skateboard. then semua orang nak lepak kat skatepark, beli papan mahal2, letak kat tepi, tengok orang main. time ni gak le aku nampak bdk2 start pakai bajet punk rock bagai. gelang paku2 di tangan, seluar jeans mahal, kasut mahal. tapi tak main pon. dok tepi je. brader2 yang da lamer main pakai kasut pallas jazz je. seluar pendek. takde paku2 kat tangan. apekan daya, Malaysian, gaya itu penting.

2004 2005 plak, aku da jadi bdk nerd, make aku tak nampak dunia (?). but thn ni la aku berjinak dengan muzik.

but then bila da masuk kolej, aku rase 2006/7/8, band indie da start naik. time ni aku paling menyampah sekali. ye, menyampah super do. time ni semua orang nak main gitar. awek2 semua yang da penah tengok yuna kat myspace, semua start nak main gita. ade gak 2-3 gadis dtg kat aku suro aku ajar, aku ckp "bapak bosan do, ko pon nak main gita. main la piano ke, violin ke". time ni jugak lah kita jumpa bdk2 yang baru start p jamming, buat band. bagi name band. buat page kat myspace.. bukak je page myspace dorang, lagu 1 ape pon takde. poser la sial~ aku main muzik, tulis lagu, rekod sendiri je. semua dalam bilik tido. takde bahan, jangan bukak page, semak je.

2009 aku da nampak sikit da, tapi dlm thn 2010 tu da start dah. semua orang nak DSLR perhh. epic. semua orang pon nak pegang camera. snap sane snap sini. then ckp "aku genuine photographer do, aku tak edit gambar aku guna photoshop", pegi la mampus~

but yeah, this is Malaysia. semua benda hype je. sekejap je. tak lame.

Idler

Culture Kills #1

2011-06-02T16:26:00.000+08:00

"Biar mati anak, jangan mati adat"

ABAH KO!~

tapi itu lah dia pepatah Melayu kate. adat kita epic gila bukan? macam haram~ majority Melayu ni, muslim. dalam kitab orang Islam, iaitu Al-Quran, takde pula mengatakan kita biar anak kita mati supaya adat resam terjaga. for god sake people! Tuhan sent 24 Rasuls (Excluding Adam, he's the father of fathers of human, he was sent down sebab makan buah khuldi. was not sent down to preach) untuk jage arab-arab durjana itu. gile bhai~ 24 rasul nak kene preach 1 bangsa je. sebab ape? sebab mereka ini durjhana~ mereka tanam anak mereka hidup2 dan bersodomi sesame sendiri. oh yeah!~ SODOMI!~ sape tak suke sodomi kat mesia ni?

manusia hape yang sanggup biar anaknye mati sebab nak jaga adatnye? apekah epic sangat ke adat melayu ini? kalo aku ade anak, pegi mampos adat, bek aku jage anak aku. adat p skolah kene bace buku sejarah, pegi mampos buku sejarah sekolah mesia. penipu do.

sudahkan melayu itu femes dengan rempit2nya, money swindling dan favoritism nye, tambah pula ngan adat biar anak mati. nampak dah pepatah melayu takleh pakai ni.

pepatah ini = EPIC FAILURE

Idler

Mari BerFacebook! #1

2011-06-02T10:16:00.000+08:00

"brilliant bukan? akak suka facebook! suka gila! suka gila! tak boleh hidup kalo tak bukak 1 hari! rase sangat berdosa tak bukak facebook!"
"err.. akak.. anak akak kat bawah tu tak makan lagi. tak masak ke?"
"kejap la. ladang akak perlu di lawati"

3 bulan kemudian..

"babi la farmville ni. sikit-sikit kene bayar. nak pakai cangkul pun kene bayar. babi! babi! akak nak join la group yang suro developer farmville ni buat game ni totally free!"

WELCOME TO FREE TO PLAY ONLINE GAMING WORLD, AKAK!

da kalo akak tak bayar, game developer nak makan ape? bangang~ Malaysian, semua benda nak free je.

ok let's start. the very first post about Facebook~ oh yeah~ this one is about the game and the epic gamer in facebook. aku start main game online mase umur aku 16 thn. Ragnarok. main kejap je. sebab mase tu takde internet kat umah. nak main kene p cyber cafe. kalo p cyber cafe, kene bayar. bek aku beli rokok, isap, lagi berbaloi. dlu cyber cafe sejam 2 ringgit setengah. rokok marlboro 10 2 ringgit setengah gak, tp mau bole tahan 1 hari kalo hari skolah. sampai sekarang pon, aku main gak game online. tp.. facebook game? pegi jahanam. bosan cam haram.

zaman Ragnarok dlu, aku rase setahun gak dia nye promosi, main free. lepas tu da kene start bayar. aku tak tau pun berape kene bayar. bile aku masuk kolej, game da banyak da. tp disebabkan game online perlukan community, maka mereka buat game to free to play. uh-huh~ but it didn't stop there. "Free to Play, Pay to be Strong" (aku main game ketok2 je. gado2. melayu bhai~ ktorang kan suke bertumbuk). kat mane nak beli kredit utk game2 online ni? 7e le. mane lagi.

ok. back to facebook. dlu. semua orang ckp.. err.. kebanyakkan perempuan cakap, main game kat cc ni buang mase je. sebab mase tu, takde facebook. ade myspace ngan lame ass friendster je. sekarang sudah ade facebook. then kebanyakkan perempuan dah mula tak buta IT. dok depan laptop / pc, facebook hari2. then keluarlah game2 yang sangat epic failure but addictive to those facebook users. sekarang, tengok. mereka yang berkata-kata itu sudah ketagih menjaga ladang virtual.

seronok gila katenye main farmville, hotel pejadah haram dan sebagainye. then bila game devoloper letak certain barang ni, kalo nak guna kena bayar, mula lah mereka komplen. tak adil lah, bodoh la, babi la, dan sebagainye. again people. kalo tak bayar, game developer nak makan ape? korang ingat dia keje under facebook ke? bukan bebeh~ game2 kat facebook kebanyakkan nye intergrated. game company syncronized kan so bole guna kat facebook. kan ke semua orang kat facebook sekarang.

pointnya di sini:
1) perempuan yang ckp main game buang mase, da start main game. dan ketagih.
2) semua orang nak benda free. tak dapat biseng.
3) tak pk game developer nak makan ape.
4) anak-anak terabai (?).

"tapi at least ktorang da tak buta IT okaaayy~~"
"a'ah. double click web-browser, klik bookmark facebook. nenek aku pon bole buat"

"tapi at least ktorang tau pakai internet okaaaayyy~~"
"a'ah. pakai internet untuk berjoyah dan bukan untuk menimba ilmu" (wahh! menimba ilmu!!)

cuba-cuba lah bukak wikipedia ke, google ke. wikipedia dan google lagi buat aku addictive dari game-game bodo kat facebook tu. oh what the hell. aku wiki-geek + google freak.

Idler

All Around The World

2011-06-01T21:32:00.000+08:00

let's end all these paranormal craps here.

Kita percaya ada nya tuhan. yes there are some who don't. and some who forgot. duhh~
hantu.. yes.. hantu lagi. hahahaha. anyway, this could be the last 1 before i start again later. okay, if you agree with what i saw, what i thought, then you will definitely agree with this one. yes~

so again, kita percaya adanya tuhan di atas sane. or down here. or around us. regardless what our religion say, god is there. so we believe our religion is right. the right one than the others. this means that all ghost around the world should come from the same religion of yours. i never believe that ghost really came from religion but culture instead.

let's talk about the Malay culture. our ghost consist of ponti, toyol etc etc. so kalo kita percaya agama kita betul, and hantu datangnya dari agama, then kenape hantu melayu ngan hantu cina lain. hantu cina ngan hantu india lain? kat sini pontianak, kat europe sane vampire, isap darah. ape kes pontianak sini rambut panjang and kat europe pakai cantik2, gigit gadis-gadis ayu? if it really came from religion. then they should look the same. kan? dah kalo kite percaya agama kita betul, then THEY DEFINITELY SHOULD LOOK THE SAME. no? LOL.

lepak kat shisha, lepak ngan mamat myanmar. dia cita pasal penjaga kawasan pakai baju hijau, kaki terbalik.180 degree. why didn't we have this penjaga kawasan here in Malaysia? kenape kenape kenape?

answer; because it came from culture, not religion. walla~

to conclude this paranormal crap of mine. i would like to say that i did not Google this shit out and made it my own. this is really from me. i did not read any wikipedia page that consist of ghost and culture. because i think its lame.

Idler

Brain Damaged

2011-06-01T21:12:00.000+08:00

okay. people might argue in what i wrote in "The Promise". i'm not arguing the fact that people can see ghost. i'm not denying fact that satan and iblis can take a different form. so what really made some people saw the unseen? answer; the brain.

my take:

some people said we only use 5 to 10% of our brain.we did not use the whole brain at 1 time for we are not machines. and that's why cameras can see the unseen. because they are machines.

god had gave us the brain. and brain is the most difficult part of the body to understand well. i have the believe that if we keep thinking of that 1 particular thing, that 1 particular thing will come true. take Lance Armstrong. he had a testicular cancer. Singer Anastacia and Sheryl Crow, they had breast cancer. and they survived. why is that they survived and others not? Local celebrity, Azean Irdawati, had breast cancer. the first she said on tv after her kimo was: "saya akan lalui ini. and saya akan selamat". she was positive all the way. she survived. the brain helped her to survived. the brain helped Lance Armstrong to continue cycling in Tour de France, to continue his legacy. and that is why people survive shit.

if we keep telling ourselves that we can achieve something. we will. and i believe the brain helped people to see the unseen. the more we think of it. the more the chance to see it. start being positive. its not just for not to see the unseen. but in our daily life.

p/s: satans can read mind and that is why they can take the form you thought about. yes.

Idler

Angels and Drop Dead Stupid

2011-06-01T20:40:00.000+08:00

when i was in college, i drove back and forth from Shah Alam to Batang Berjuntai / Berjuntai Bestari / Bestari Jaya (Lame!). one day i felt very tired of it. i drove my mom's innova. 50 ringgit back and forth each day. so i decided to live in my classmates house. we don't have a lot of male students in class. just 8/10 in 60. what the hell, we are TESL students.

lived there for a few days and i had this conversation with one of my housemate. i started:

"mane Satish (bukan name sebenar)?"
"dia dudok kat umah lain"
"asal dia tak dudok sini ngan korang? kan senang. 1 class semua kat sini je"
"dia kan bukan islam"

and by then i know, i'm living with racist. what do you expect? Malays~ duhh~
then i thought about about 1 of my ex girlfriend and her "kakak sayang". so lets call this kakak sayang Kak Lis. my ex lived in the hostel. she shared the apartment with some non muslim students. so nak di jadikan cerita, Kak Lis bekata kepada that ex girlfriend of mine:

"awak pindah la rumah. tak elok dok 1 rumah ngan orang bukan islam. nanti malaikat tak masuk"

at that time, i didn't bother to dwell on what she said prior to that time. but it changed when my current girlfriend is going to live with a chinese colleague of her. i thought about it. and i laughed it off. really. it couldn't get any better than not having malaikat around in the house. no?

for once. think
in Islam, we have these 2 angels who stayed on each of our shoulder. Malaikat Rokib, on our right shoulder. his task is to jolt down every single good deeds we do. and then our left shoulder is Malaikat Atid. and his task is to jolt down every single sins we did.

think again. if malaikat tak masuk rumah, means those Malaikat won't be clinged on our shoulders. they will stay outside. means that if we fuck someone, get drunk or inhale cocaine in the house, these things won't be jolt down by the malaikat because they are outside. and can't get in. the reason for them to be able to write what we did is because he's ON our shoulders. and if the malaikat jolt down what he did not see, that means fitnah. wuuu.. that is so damn wrong in Islam right?

it is not about who we live with. it is how we believe in our religion. Madinah was infested people from different religions too. and they lived in harmony there. so why can't we live in harmony here? we all have our own faith. why can't we respect each other's beliefs?

Idler

The Promise

2011-06-01T19:40:00.000+08:00

this is NOT one hell of a love story~ ding!

you see, my dad told me once about satans, devils and the unseen, and i kept it in my head and it did helped me to think out of the box throughout of my life. after all, i'm his son.

you see. a few years ago, in my school years (i think i was 15), i shared my room with my 2 brothers and 2 sisters. 1 night we watched "The Blair Witch Project". not the one with the naked people dancing around the fire but the 1 that where the people went in to the jungle and never got out. so, yes, we watched it this 1 night. and 1 of my sisters started to have nightmares. it went on for 3 nights. but on the 3rd night, i decided to just toss my sister into my parent's room. the very next day. my mom came back from work and told me something. it really made my hair stood up.

"ko tau tak semalam Ona nampak ape mase ko anta dia kat bilik mama? dia nampak ade benda nak capai belakang ko. rambut panjang, mate merah, kuku panjang"

woot! brilliant! and since that night. i don't know why, my mom took my sister pergi berubat rasenye, and the nightmares stopped..

the next story happened to my brother. this one brother of mine went out to go to the surau. he came back after and and fell asleep. i was playing video games when i heard my sister screamed "abah! tengok Alip ni apehal ntah!" and since my dad couldn't walk quickly upstairs due to his sickness, he sent me upstairs. the first thing i saw was my brother is measuring the bed mattress. and one of my sister asked him "ko ukur ape lip?" and my brother answered "Ayam".. FFFFFUUUUUUU!!!! that was hilarious. i laughed and couldn't stop smiling even when my dad told me to and the ustaz next door. i reached the front door, opened it and i saw a huge thing standing on top of the house gate. shocked, tried to get a slipper to throw at it when the thing flew away. it was an owl. around 3 feet tall. that was the first time i saw an owl in Bandar Baru Bangi since i lived that at age 5. epic bukan? hahaha. disappointingly. the story ends there. nothing really happened pon. gotcha? no?

here comes what my father told me..

"mane ade hantu. dalam quran takde pon cite tuhan cipta hantu. yang ade setan, iblis ngan jin je. citenye, bile tuhan cipta manusia, setan ngan iblis cakap nak sesatkan umat adam. so katekanlah malam nanti ko dudok sorang diri and setan tu sergah ko. kompem ko turun semayang punya. paling sikit pon ko sebut Allah or bace ape yang ko tau"

where is this going by the way? exactly!

if we recite anything from the Quran, means we remember our God. and when we remember our God, what happened to the promise the satans made? yes. spoiled!

translation (from what my dad told me):

"kalo dia da sergah ko. rosak la plan dia nak sesatkan ko. sergah, lagi dekat jadinya ko ngan tuhan"

i think it was hilarious. the way he said it. and since that day onward, i live and try to give different perception on every single thing. my dad passed away in 2008 right before his birthday. was born on 23rd August and selamat di kebumikan on 23rd August. "hari ni dia keluar, hari ni dia masuk balik" my mom said.

no, my dad went off easily. mastika can't make a story of how a man with a brain die in vein.

Idler

This is... Kotak Bodoh

2011-06-01T18:32:00.000+08:00

i thought about it a long time ago. but yeah. i'm too lazy to spend time in front of the pc and write shit about the world. i'd prefer to play video games and sleep all day. but here's the pilot of the blog.

Kotak Bodoh, means.. oh what the hell? people called me stupid for not doing things that they expected me to do. they thought it'd be the best for me to do what they wanted me to do. oi, people, i ain't living in someone else's dream. well. they called me stupid. and people always say we need to think out of the box. and here i'm. the kotak and the bodohness within it.

anyway, here at Kotak Bodoh you can expect new perception. only if you read properly. but yeah, i'm not a good English speaker nor writer. so you can expect grammar mistakes here and there too. Kotak Bodoh is about seeing things the way i see it. you might get pissed at it and you might laugh the whole day too.

so, that's for the introduction then.
oh by the way. call me Idler.

Idler